IMPLANTED APPLICATION [EXTREME PROPOSE]
[41] Desire Blocked by Past Trauma

“Get tomorrow, Brother?”

“Iya tomorrow. You just pack up, it turns out the dinner invitation the day after tomorrow, and Mama just said that. I'm also a bit surprised, Mama could have made that decision if she wanted to hurry. Just when he asked you to marry me, Nin. Mama .. Mama .. Difficult if it comes out parents.”

Nina did not understand Dirga's words just now. What say? Nina's been told to pack now? Even her clothes just got transferred to the closet this morning?

Ah ... Tired!

“How many clothes yes, brother approximately? How many days are we there?”

“Four or five days? Maybe spend my day off, but if you mind, we can go home early as long as we don't go home. Or if Mama knows, could be critical.” Bright Dirga while sitting on the edge of the bed.

Nina sighed softly. He did not want to be seen complaining in front of Dirga, but in fact he also felt tired. Didn't he look tired, or was he just trying to cover it up?

I don't know …

“OK, later Nina pack for so much.” Breakdown.

Dirga nodded.

“Iya packed just say. If less, we can buy there. Oh yeah, I'll pack my own clothes, Nin. We took a noon flight yes, I just ordered for two.” He said again, leaning on the head of the bed. Positioning itself spread.

“Oh yes, later I put clothes in your suitcase too huh, Nin? I don't bring a lot of clothes, so don't bother.”

Dirga returned without looking at his wife.

Did Dirga have the skills to look at Nina from the wall without having to look at her person directly?

“Ya already.” Answer Nina.

“Oh yes ..”

“While we plan to travel tomorrow, there is something I want to talk about, Nin ..” Dirga said as he looked at his wife from behind. No longer choosing a wall to look at, he was actually looking at Nina right now.

“What's up, Brother?” Nina asked around her body seeing Dirga bringing her clothes down.

“There are a lot of things I want to talk about. Related to us, related to this marriage, the role of each of which surely you also understand,” Continue to begin.

“We insyaAllah will stay at this house⸻it seems even while Nin. Because I have plans to live in my own home, regardless of Mama herself. I feel like we need just the two of us, I feel like Mama's a little bit intervening with us. Not that I don't like it, now all this has become our decision, right, related to anything. Although I like it if Mama does this because she wants to help us, but it's good that we start to have our own decisions. How do you think?” Ask Dirga.

Nina who was still busy with the clothes in her hand, nodded at a glance.

“Nina also had time to think like that anyway, sister. But it is a bit difficult not to follow any advice given by Mama. Nina still felt odd because if it wasn't for Mama, none of this would have been possible. Although indeed, this has become our right, and the right of Kak Dirga to be able to lead our own family. I agree, brother. I go wherever Brother Dirga goes.” To be honest.

Dirga chose to sit in front of Nina who began to take down some of her clothes. Choose whatever clothes he wants to wear later.

Though Dirga said if he would pack it himself later, but Nina insisted to help worry.

“Yes already if you also agree. Oh yes Nin, related to us ..” Dirga re-opened his voice after a few minutes of his words had paused when they discussed about clothes.

“You may not know much about me, yes .. naturally, we do not go through courtship, let alone pedekate. In a bit I just judge you by your physique and some other general aspects. I know, the feeling of like may not appear⸻if actually I already feel like you, but love can not be as easy as the eyes look at the figure in front of him. If you forget, in fact we have to love each other to maintain this relationship, Nin .. I don't know how you feel now, sorry if I was selfish for never asking, but … can you slowly open your heart to my presence?” Ask Dirga carefully.

The man in front of her made Nina die of lice. Dirga started talking about them.

He and Dirga have never discussed the two so far. Even from the proposal, until finally they married, all the series that lasted as if only belonged to Mama as the person who did plan this. There are two hearts, two beings and two points of view of them as people who live a new practice in life, this marriage

Changes in status, changes in position in life, their respective roles, become things that they had ruled out beyond the fact that they were married, he said, they will be two new people who as soon as possible should be there for each one. Not only will they create a new colony status and structure in marriage, but they will be the beginning where other lives will be present later.

Dirga's words have a point because Nina also forgot that they were married, not only to live it as usual after a new status was present, but also to maintain her wholeness through the thing called feeling, but also to maintain her integrity, even love.

Ah ... Nina hadn't thought about that before. He just felt if there was a click, or just a match, they might be able to blend in well. In fact, the feeling and the emergence of the thing called love will have another effect. There is at least an attempt to harmonize, which is part of the wedding plan in the worship label. Not just a figure of speech, but also proof.

“Nina will try, Sister. We have to work on it, right? It's become like this, we can't squirm anymore. Next we have to build feelings, brother. Nina approves this plan consciously, then next we can only keep it,” Nina know-how chuckles.

Dirga silently smiled as well. Her heart warmed to hear how Nina expressed her feelings and hopes for their relationship. He liked how the woman said honestly and sincerely. Of the various kinds of people Dirga met, especially women, only Nina could explain this simple sense of acceptance.

He was still relatively young, but his adult thinking seemed to make Dirga knock his heart to be more wise in attitude. One that Dirga felt to be an important point in Nina's life before this is certainly because even though Nina is not a person who comes from an affluent family, but the affection and completeness of the parents in his life perfect his personal. According to what should have been formed from a child who grew up from two strangers who loved each other, and then hoped that he would be present in this world.

It is not that there is nothing in his version of life, but the conditions after his birth are not as smooth as Nina. So Dirga doesn't look as calm as Nina.

“May we really match, Nin .. Help me to be able to turn on the color in our lives later.” Pinta Dirga sounds sincere.

His hands no longer move to finish the event folding clothes that they will bring tomorrow, now the man turned to touch the hands of his wife who sat right in front of him. Pulling Nina who reflexively raised her head while moving closer towards him. The woman was shocked, by the way, Dirga liked Nina's shocked expression like last night⸻, but then Nina tried to neutralize the feelings in her. Moving follows Dirga's instincts with whatever desires the man thinks in his head.

Her husband clutched himself slowly. Dipping his head between the recesses of his neck, looking for warmth while giving an amused effect on him. For a few seconds Dirga did not say anything, just a sigh of tired breath that Nina could hear as if saying that her husband had kept this matter for so long.

“You smell so good, Nin .. I don't know if it smells like you can be this intoxicating, even after I felt it last night,”. Now his hands move rubbing the back of his wife who feels thin.

He suddenly lifted Nina up to sit on his lap, taking off his embrace while looking into those eyes.

Unusual feelings emerged that forced him to immediately complete whatever he now knew he was thinking.

Their faces are very close. Nina couldn't even lie if the heat of Dirga's breath was so pronounced on her face. Making it instantly also weakened, powerless to resist the nervousness that felt increasingly becoming. Dirga seemed to smile a little, until finally the man close the distance between them.

For the first time Nina felt the so-called closeness between couples. He didn't move much, just following where Dirga took him. Suddenly as much as fear appeared in him in the middle of the situation where Dirga seemed to adore him by giving the new experience.

Nina reflexes pushed Dirga with a gasp of breath. She can't, not won't, Nina just can't.

He …. She's afraid.

“Nin ..” Call Dirga parau. Hot weather and the desire to finish whatever was on his mind made Dirga shocked by Nina's attitude.

He really got carried away.

“Ma—maaf, Sis .. Nina ... Nina can't.” The woman was down in front of her face. Still in the same position.

Dirga just swallowed his saliva slowly. I don't know what made Nina stop herself, but then she who looked down embarrassed, touched Dirga's hands above her thighs.

“Nina can ask for more time?” He asked quietly, his tone really worried.

Dirga who looked at him for a moment fell silent. There were no words she felt she could get out of when Nina rejected him. He understood, Nina must be afraid, even though Dirga wanted to convince him, but Nina still did not look sure.

Dirga closed his eyes for a moment.

He understood his wife's intentions just now. Dirga must learn more from now on.

Well ..just for now, because Dirga wasn't sure if he could be together any other time.

“Nothing,” His reply hoarsely.

“I want us to do it when we are both comfortable, and if now you do not feel like it, we can postpone it again kok—but not for long huh, Nin? You must be sorry if I have to take a cold shower?” Add tucking the claws in there.

Nina nodded slowly. The woman was still in her position, directly hugging Dirga back.

Nina was afraid, even though she wanted all this to go the way it should, but .. Ah! Nina can't control all this!

“Nina apologizes Sister, Nina must have sinned because of this.” He said he was confused by his condition.

“It’s okay, for now it's okay. Next time I do not promise, yes ... Yes, unless you can not be beautiful like these two days, hm .. later I think.” Kelakar Dirga again while tightening their embrace.

Nina felt guilty, but she couldn't deny this fear.

It turns out his childhood trauma wasn't really gone. Nina was afraid to accept the fact that Dirga did deserve it, because the man wanted to cultivate a feeling of attachment between them.

Although his body's response was not what he wanted.