Liebe Zu Maiza's
Pass Selection

I had not fully realized that I was in school, in the classroom receiving lessons from Ms. Mirah.

Ms. Mirah, always comes up with her charms as a favorite teacher. The person is young at heart, beautiful, elegant, energetic, friendly and a good listener. How would it feel if we could be closer to Bu Mirah, sharing and taking advice from him. It would be amazing to be close to him, the mainstay teacher who likes to motivate.

Half of this self still lives in a 5 x 3 meter room in the house of aunt Yusnita where I was bending, witnessed by the walls and ceiling of the mute room, laughed at by the crackling of a fucking lizard that survived insect venom.

I lamented over the misfortune that was happening, the only place I considered home in this city, where I came home and stayed, was not fully accepting of me.

That place, until now I still consider the house which is also claimed by the eldest son of aunt Yusnita who is none other than a cousin who can evict his cousin, the village girl who according to him was accommodated by his parents. Is that a place I can consider home?

It never occurred to me that it would be like this. Away from the village, get on a plane and get in a car finally get here. The dream of a fun school and a good cousin turned out to be in a fairy tale, very different from the reality I was facing.

Why my life is like in a soap opera that is hostile to family members, in school is still hostile to friends. Live a life full of drama with irony.

"See you at the next meeting, have a good day" Ms. Mirah concluded on the lesson before leaving class.

I really wasn't at school. Some parts of me are not fused, my soul still hangs at home, my body is at school, my heart is allowed to learn to spell love in Faruq's name and my mind is scattered everywhere.

"Za, you why the hell, from coming until now the innards are moody?"

"Yes, it's not good to know you don't see it. You have a burden as big as the earth, what's the matter?" added Daniza who was sitting in front of me.

"Speak dong, Za," Ayu persuaded

"Or maybe you've been heartbroken, just yesterday happy infinitely now already moody unbounded." Daniza is starting again.

"Yes, what's going on Za? we are your friends, do not have the heart to see you like this, the innate moody, make us also lost spirit," persuaded Ayu who had been angry near me when Bu Mirah explained while my attention was not to him.

"Or because about last night, I'll just reply to your message around the clock" I glanced at Daniza.

"Or is it because I'm not retaliating at all?"

"That problem? Forgive Zaaa, you will know for yourself I'm like how, if you want to say yes by the way, to the point directly. Especially last night I swear I was confused, the task has not been run and my soap opera has been aired." The wide-length Daniza is trying to bring back my smile.

I flinch, not knowing what to tell my two best friends. They can't know my problem, let alone what it has to do with Afni. Ma'am, do I have to keep the family relationship between me and Afni a secret.

"Or are you still confused by how you feel about your heart's decision with your upperclassman?"

"Faruq, his name is Faruq," inexplicably calling that name the burden of my heart was slightly reduced. I just need the head so that my two friends do not pry anymore about the cause of this face moping.

"Are you really in love?" Search Daniza.

"Just right, Za?" happy twists appeared in Ayu's eyes.

"Oh, I'm still not sure" as much as I can hide my feelings for Daniza and Ayu.

"But last night you remember not the same ... who else?"

"Faruq," my heart was pounding again and again.

"Yes, Faruq, you already know his name, but I just ngetes doang you know," Daniza giggled.

"That's why last night I wanted to tell you the same story, I wanted to share, last night I really didn't know these feelings, mixed up."

"Your heart's pounding? any discomfort around the stomach?" Ayu went back to find gelaja in love with me.

"Yep, when do you remember the upperclassman?"

I nodded weakly.

"Fix, you're in love, Za." Daniza came to the final conclusion.

"So what now?"

"Where's what?" I asked Daniza back. I don't understand the direction of the question.

"Do you want to be?"

"Goddess? I don't know." I'm rolling my shoulders. Not yet years have to do with their own feelings.

"So you just want to love him, without even knowing how he feels about you?"

"For now let it be like this,"

"As for you, I'm confused to understand your way of thinking" Daniza began to grumble.

From below there was a noise. Directions from around the notice board. "Below what the hell, how rowdy," Daniza came out to find out the source of the commotion.

Daniza came in with a big face. His eyes glared happily, "Eh, the announcement of the vocal selection oranization."

"What, seriously?" our eyes were no less glaring at him with Daniza, Ayu and I looked at each other.

Me, Ayu and Daniza came out, from the front of the class we looked down. In front of the announcement many students were looking for their names.

"Za, look there's Brother Faruq there," Appoint Daniza to my angel.

"Niz, don't be appointed. Someone will see."

"Za, your face meets, cie cie there are more flowers." ledek Ayu.

"But what's your achievement, Faruq's brother over there?"

"Menekehe." I replied cuek.

***

Nimble fingers Daniza combed the names in the list of announcements participants who passed the vocal selection. Twenty-five names were written there. From number one to twenty-five.

Daniza turn body. Cheeriness gone. There was a cloudy cloud hanging on both of his clear eyeballs. Ayu and I looked at. We already know what happened.

"Your name is, Za you are number one" Daniza said flatly, after which Daniza left regardless of me and Ayu. I looked at Ayu, Ayu also looked at me while holding her shoulder.

"Nice." Daniza keeps going no matter what I am. There were a lot of pairs of eyes glaring towards Daniza, she didn't care. His heart was already devastated to accept the fact that he did not pass vocal selection.

Ayu and I chased after Daniza who was now going up to the classroom.

Daniza was in her seat. Face swollen. He did not expect the result to be like this. In reality, he is not worthy.

"Niz, you're patient yes, I know you must be disappointed with the results, but maybe your passion is not on the vocals." I tried to calm him down.

"Seeanak your stomach is talking Za, your name is in the top position," I can spray instead.

"What do you mean you're not my passion on vocals? Just tell me my voice's ugly like a duck," he sniffled.

"That's not what I mean Niz, maybe-"

"I don't want to hear anything anymore. Go away you two." sobbing in a sniffling voice.

***