Liebe Zu Maiza's
Dilemmas

"Daniza, I understand your feelings, if by crying you can rearrange a broken heart, then cry!" I tried to calm Daniza down once again. Ayu did not know what to do, she also tried to calm down by holding the puffy-faced woman's arm beside her.

Daniza was unmoved, her tears still spilling. Being part of a vocal organization was her dream since she was a Junior High, unfortunately she never had the courage to join. Daniza once said, she was a student who often got bullying during Junior High. Entering High School he wants to change that, he hopes to have a place among people who see it differently.

I was amazed by Daniza, although often sneered because of her fat size even very fat, weighing up to 107 kilograms. But he was not ashamed, his confidence remained. He loves himself for who he is. 'If I don't accept my fat self, how would anyone else accept it, every woman is beautiful if she can love herself' he said one day when the upperclassman was reprimanding his size who had to sew his own uniform. And today he's disappointed, I think Daniza will change, his self-esteem will wear off because of the announcement.

Why am I not the only one who failed. If I fail and Daniza escapes, then today happiness accompanies her return. And I don't have to bother anymore to resign. Life is sometimes full of irony that is difficult to accept common sense.

"Daniza, we're your best friend, if you feel sad, disappointed or whatever, share it with us. I know Niz, disappointed it's heavy but even heavier if it's kept," Ayu also starts persuading Daniza.

"Did you say Za, understand my feelings? Your heart alone you don't understand, dare say understand my feelings." I once again wanted to persuade him but I paled when I saw him staring at me. Ayu's advice was ignored.

"Niz, I've been in your position, it's hard but we have to be strong. There's something else waiting for you, maybe not in the vowels but-" Ayu's not ending sentence but Daniza has been ambushed.

"You heard me, leave me alone" he shouted.

"But Daniza -"

Daniza didn't fret, she pulled her bag rough and came out leaving me and Ayu. Ayu looked at me, trying to calm Daniza down in vain. The persuasion and effort to make it better even further ignited the flames of his disappointment.

"We'd better just go home, let Daniza calm down, she needs peace now. Hopefully tomorrow his feelings will improve." take me to Ayu.

***

Today I picked up Bang Salim, aunt Yusnita there is an office event until night. Bang Salim was already waiting in the usual place. I ran a little towards him.

"On your own, brother?"

"Yes Bang, Afni's sick again,"

"illness?" pressure to be allowed. Bang Salim peeked at me from the mirror above his left, his eyebrows intertwined.

"Yes Bang." Bang Salim's beard heard my answer, perhaps he was associating it with something else about the cause of Afni's pain.

"What's the matter Bang, seems to lack that confidence?"

"Ah no, I'm just asking," Bang Salim's response as he tried to focus on the crowded road ahead of him.

"Sir, why didn't you come home yesterday when I picked you up?"

"Bang, yesterday the time to pick up Kak Afni straight home right?"

There is a desire to know more about the event Afni last night until home late, maybe Bang Salim know something.

"Go to Dik's house, but Afni and her friends have made plans to go to the discotheque, he said to get rid of stress."

"Ha, discotheque bang? the three of them on to the discotheque? Bang Salim misheard that time?" bang Salim had an ear health problem.

"Dik's Oath, they did say they wanted to go to the discotheque, the Azmi who bought it."

Azmi is not a good friend to Afni. From the beginning I was suspicious, just looking at the scene, already indicating something was wrong with Azmi and Rima. I have to do something for you.

***

On a quiet Saturday, Nurul followed tahfiz and was obliged to stay in tahfiz, Sunday afternoon just picked up by aunt Yusnita. Aunt Yusnita overtime, usually going home late at night. And then again, I don't know where my cousin who claimed to be sick went. He's not home, Aunt Yusnita says he's resting at home, but the guy's missing. Something's wrong with Afri.

All the tasks of the school that must be collected the next meeting of Mr. Mother Teacher are in order. At least seven assignments of the subjects were completed this afternoon.

I laid down a rather achy body in bed after all those tasks were done. This mind is back to branching. One problem is not finished, another problem comes. Afni who threatened even the heart to drive me from home, Daniza who used a snack, crybaby once she even though her mouth sometimes out of control talk as good as the stomach without caring for people offended or not, and now it's his turn to beg for mercy.

Azmi also warned against resigning from the vocal organization if it escapes, indeed who he is, the power of governing. Even if I did not resign, of course every vocal activity I met with them. Inevitably Azmi will deal with me more and more. My relationship with Afni will be even harder to keep secret.

Being a vocal member of the school was my dream long ago. Ever since Elementary School I pursued that dream but never got the chance, the Arts Culture teacher always put me on the painting team. Today, that dream is in sight but so many problems. Forward must be backward.

If I retreat then my dream of becoming a participant of Gita Bahana Nusantara will be buried, the hope of becoming a provincial representative in FLSN must be dashed, the desire to be free of tests in the best universities must be forgotten. On the other hand, if I withdraw my relationship with Afni will not get worse because there is no need to play hide and seek with his friends.

If you still choose to join then every activity I will deal with Azmi, Afni and Rima. Azmi will always disturb my calm at school. Ayu and I were often together and ignored Daniza's presence between us.

The announcement instead of making this heart happy even raises a dilemma. Because of the announcement Daniza was disappointed and crying, finally lashed out at me and Ayu. Why not Daniza who escaped, it will not be complicated. No need to bother resign, no need for a disappointed Daniza.

This head felt like it was about to break thinking about that little problem. Small problems that can be fatal.

There was also Faruq around the announcement. What is Faruq doing there? Or maybe he's also a vocal member? Problems get worse if Faruq is also a vocal member. But if he was a vocal member, why not sit behind Bu Mirah at that time? Maybe he just happened to pass by.

The strange feeling appeared again, the heart shaking violently, the stomach and its surroundings uncomfortable. Fucking Cupid's probably dancing around there.