Love Above the Heart
- Spirit and Dream -

*POV. Gia

The sun began to sink into its plight in the western horizon, leaving a hint of orange in the almost dark blue sky.

After cleaning myself and bathing, I lay my body on a single bed without legs in a rented house that is now officially my residence.

I feel very tired because since arriving here I immediately tidied up my makeshift items and arranged my clothes in a small corner corner of the room that is still worth using.

This rented house is good. According to the price. Clean and comfortable. There is one bedroom, one bathroom and a kitchen. There is also a front room that doubles up to be a living room as well as a dining room.

I don't have any household stuff here. But I'm lucky to have a single bed, a small cupboard and a small stove in the kitchen. The rest, I can buy later. I bought what I really needed.

I have to adjust here. Although it looks like the neighbors here were friendly when they greeted me this afternoon.

But, With my condition pregnant without a husband, I have to prepare mentally for the scorn and gossip of the people around.

I have to be strong to accept all the other people's words and insinuations. That's the consequence I have to bear right now.

I can't cover every mouth out there that corrects me. But I can cover my own ears to pretend not to hear.

I'll be more selective in my relationships. And I decided not to get close to anyone. Unless, I judge that person to be sincere about my circumstances.

I was still slonjoran in the bed thinking about the things that came to my mind.

I remember the money from Nico that was still left baaaanyakkk. But, sooner or later the money will run out too if I have no income.

I started thinking about earning money and earning.

I thought that applying for that job was highly unlikely. Given my condition that is pregnant and easily tired at any time.

Which company or store will accept pregnant employees but it is not clear this status. Single or Widow?

Huh.I cursed myself.

How else, it looks like I can't apply for a job. How about I pass out again while working.

"No! Nah! I have to think of another way." My resolve.

I continued to think, thinking from my other point of view. "I'm just opening a business." My inner. "But what effort?" Added again.

I thought about what talent was hidden within me. I have a talent for painting. Although not professional but my painting is not ugly really.

Then, I only have experience working in convection as marketing or marketing. Selling business sells I already know the trick. "do I sell it?" Thought again.

I tapped my forehead with my phone while thinking what profession I should do this time.

I remembered something, my profession used to be my mother's assistant. Sew. Yes, I am not good and am still amateurs in that field. But I can sew.

"What if I sell but from my own stitches?" thought again.

And a brilliant idea popped up in my brain. My painting hobby can also be expressed this time. I will design the items I will sell and sew. I smiled at the sumringah too.

It's not as easy as it looks. But I have to try first. That's my resolve.

I immediately picked up the pen and paper on my Waist Bag. Take note of what needs I will buy. Make it my grocery list later.

I was thinking of buying something because this was the beginning for me. 'Try on who knows luck' that's my motto right now.

Because I don't want to waste money either. I don't want to buy things that don't matter anymore like my youth. I have to think about my life, my pregnancy and my delivery.

I am determined to try to be proficient whatever I will do later as long as it is halal. Because I want to save this time. For my son's future. I don't want my son to be underestimated by others like me.

Suddenly I was so excited. I stroked my flat stomach.

"Patience son, mama again effort darling. It's for our future, son. You're healthy in there." chirps me voice, like talking to my son who is in front of the eyes.

My eyes sparkle. Gutting my stomach made me remember Erick.

"How are you, Rick? I hope you're healthy and don't do anything stupid." I murmured in my heart.

A feeling of worry ensued when I remembered Erick I had left a few days ago before I came to this town. He definitely did not accept all of this so easily.

It was painful in my chest, imagining what Erick would do. Quickly I pat the shadows even though it is difficult. Until without feeling I was asleep in the feeling of sleep.

"What problem are you having? why is it like this? persuade Erick to try to cool me down.

"no, I just want us to split up!" my answer.

"Yes, you don't have lightning there is no rain suddenly talking gini. You prank me huh?" erick asked again while trying to smile and hold my hand. He set his tone to stay calm.

I pulled my hand from his grasp.

"i'm gone. We're done." I said as I walked away.

"what's wrong with you, Gia? why did you suddenly give up? am I lacking for you? does everything mean nothing to you?"

my steps stopped hearing his question.I held the dam of water in my eyes.

"i don't want to, Gia" he added again.

I kept quiet as I continued to leave the park. But suddenly my wrist was held by Erick.

"Wait. I beg you not to be like this" he said softly.

My tears I can't hold anymore. The water dam immediately burst out soaking my cheeks.I sobbed at the sound of erick speaking pleading to a woman like me.

Without Erick's cue holding me into his arms. My tears are getting broken in the chest of his field.

I don't know what else to say to him. But the courage I had cultivated from home before I found it in this garden, came out again.

"I don't love you anymore, Rick." I said on the sidelines sobbing.

Erick shook his head repeatedly. "No! you lied." he said.

"Stop and let our relationship get here" I replied.

"don't want to!"

I pushed as hard as I could to let go of Erick's embrace. Enough of this is our last embrace.

I ran right away leaving Erick there. I don't want to look back to see his face and circumstances because I'm afraid to change my mind.

I kept going even though I heard Erick repeatedly calling my name until I became the center of attention of people around the park. But I stayed in my stance. Leaving Erick.

I woke up from my sleep. My body feels hot cold.I grabbed a glass next to my bed. I gulped up to the toilet.

I dreamt of how my last day left Erick in the park. Like dejavu. Like a reality that repeats itself.

I feel like my chest is so tight. I wrote the clock on the wall of the room, it's almost dawn. I realized last night I was asleep thinking about Erick.

Worry slipped in the recesses of my heart. "I love her, but I left her" I murmured inwardly.

I smiled miris. But this is the best.

I took the unilateral decision to cut off my relationship with Erick, after I found out I was pregnant.

Erick didn't know I was pregnant with his child. I was too scared. I'm afraid Erick rejected me and rejected the child in my womb.

I don't want to be sicker if he finds out and rejects me. So, before He rejects me and hurts me more it would be better if this were so. "it would hurt more if he knew and would not consider me and this child, let him not know"

I doubt it's the truth.

I don't know. I also do not want to damage his good relationship with his family with the child in my womb.

I don't want to ruin his career either. That's what I had in mind.

I've tried to wait for his family's blessing, but I haven't gotten it until now.

Especially if her family knows I'm pregnant, I must be considered defamating their family's good name. It hurt so much even when it was my shadow.

This is my reason for leaving. Avoid and if necessary stay away from Erick forever. Although my heart and my heart are tormented. Let it..

Seriate...