Make Me His Substitute
Why So Selfish?
After enjoying dinner with Agatha and Papa Andrew that night, Aga chooses to chat with his family first before entering his room.
Papa Andrew who was impatient to make a sound finally opened a conversation between them that night.
"Aga.." call Papa Andrew gentle on his eldest son.
"Yes, what's up, Pah?" Ask Aga.
"Ga, your age is no longer young. Did you not intend to get married yet? Papa thinks your life would be better if you were married because you wouldn't feel lonely anymore if you were in your house." Said Papa Andrew.
Aga shook his head. "I haven't thought about getting married yet, Pah." Answer Aga as it is.
Papa Andrew took a deep breath. "Ga, to be honest Papa is very sad to see you live in a different place with Papa and Agatha. Papa can't monitor your movements every day and doesn't know when you're suddenly sick or in need of Papa's help." Papa Andrew's face turned sad as he said so.
"Papa don't worry about Aga too much. Trust me if you'll be okay even if you live apart from Papa."
"But don't you intend to go back to live here with Papa and Agatha? Was it so deep in the wounds after your mother's departure that it made it difficult for you to go back to living in this house?"
Papa Andrew could speak no more. The answer you give now is not much different from the answer you gave before.
"Sir Aga, honestly I really want us to go back to living together like Mama was there. What Kak Aga knows, I always miss the times we were together when Mama was still there. And now, everything feels so different. Brother Aga lives apart from us and Mama has gone far away from us." Agatha shed tears imagining the figure of the mother who had already left the world.
"I feel lonely, Brother. Same with Kak Aga, I also feel sad because I lost Mama. But I am not as selfish as Kak Aga by choosing to stay apart from Papa. I still want to accompany Papa here. I'm so afraid I'll lose Papa too after we lose Mama." Agatha covered her face with both of her palms as she felt her tears falling down more and more.
Agatha wiped away the tears that kept flowing down her cheeks. "Why is Kak Aga so selfish by choosing to stay apart with Papa? Can't Brother Aga soften Brother's heart just a little to want to live with Papa and me again? Didn't you ever think what if God willed another by taking Papa also from us? Is Kak Aga able to calm down after that because so many missed being with Papa?" Agatha's cry sounded louder and louder.
Aga let out a breath that felt increasingly heavy. If discussing the past with his family, his sister must be very easily touched and cry like today.
"Do you know, every night I always pray that Papa is given a long life so that he can accompany me until the end of my life. I'm so scared that if Papa doesn't exist anymore then I'll stay alone in this house because Brother doesn't want to live with me anymore."
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