My Darling
3
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Today seemed like a testing day for Zhafira. After the incident in front of the elevator door, Zhafira never stopped saying the sentence istighfar both spoken and in his mind alone.
Even Zhafira felt that she was not working professionally today, Zhafira had checked back on her work several times, repeating it many times because Zhafira felt if her focus was slightly distracted when the shadow of the incident kept repeatedly dancing in her memory, maybe like a broken cassette.
Not because it enjoys a sense of what happened, but rather regretting why it happened. For the first time, Zhafira regretted her carelessness. In a better, calmer condition, Zhafira tried to stimulate his brain to think positive things, and also introspect himself especially after praying repentance, his heart felt better because for the first time Zhafira felt that he had committed a great sin.
In the silence of the atmosphere of the mosque, Zhafira again stimulated himself, that what happened was the way God warned him to be more thorough, not to be careless anymore, he said, and Zhafira had to learn to change this bad habit, even though it was very difficult for Zhafira, but inevitably Zhafira had to try to improve his attitude rather than worse than the events that just happened.
In conditions that still have not improved , although Zhafira has been performing prayers of repentance, Zhafira chose to immediately contact an ustazah who has always been his spiritual teacher in deepening his religious knowledge, Zhafira said, Zhafira told him about what had just befallen him, asking about many things, this is it, this is it, build two-way communication to make himself satisfied with every answer given by a ustazah who has answered every question with hadith - hadith sohih that can convince that it is true. One answer the ustazah gives is when the ustazah says that everything that happens to us is Qodarullah or the destiny of God that can happen or must happen because of the will of God, and it may or may happen suddenly, either accidentally or intentionally, allahalam can be.
And for this Qodarullah we must be able to husnudzon or think positively about all things that are the will of God. Therefore, we must not feel regret for what has just happened, has happened in this life we live, he said, and for that there must be wisdom that God wants to convey to us for what happened, so that we can take a stand by improving ourselves for the better, he said, that is the key to being sincere when getting the test, and feeling calm when it has gone beyond the test, such is the speech of the ustazah who is able to make Zhafira feel much better than before.
But because this had never happened in Zhafira's life, and had never been in physical contact with the opposite sex before except to his sister who was a mahram to him, making a sense of discomfort still feels so remembering the incident. Therefore, Zhafira tried the method once taught by a professional therapist in his field, where the relationship between them is still maintained, so what's wrong if Zhafira does again the method that was once taught to her so as to eliminate the uncomfortable feeling it went unfilled , but there are consequences borne by Zhafira that is a little memory loss in some moments.
Zhafira resumed her duties as a nurse after spending time isoman inside the mosque, without filling her stomach which had been asking for rights since then. But Zhafira still ignored that which he considered not too important, until without feeling his working time will soon end in just no more than an hour. Zhafira and her shift co-workers began to prepare themselves and some things would be used as handover materials with colleagues in the next shift.
As for the matter, Zhafira had asked Anggie to settle matters with the man without having him meet again, which was just a waste of his precious time, Zhafira told Anggie, though that's not the point, of course because Zhafira is too lazy to relate to a man, that's the main reason Zhafira feels reluctant to solve the problem himself. And the other thing, it's because Anggie also said that Zhafira no longer need to worry about the possibilities that might happen, he said, so that Zhafira no longer need to think too much about things that are not at all important according to Anggie, although in reality Anggie was helped by a personal assistant who was always ready to help Anggie and Zhafira.
Unbeknownst to Zhafira and Anggie, if Samuel was forced to sell any of the information about Zhafira in order for the young lord Abrisham to let go of this matter in a good way, if Samuel wanted to give the young master the information he wanted.
Samuel considered that if the information requested by the young master Abrisham about Zhafira was still considered general information, it was easy for Samuel to provide that information without hesitation, because Samuel wasn't sure if young master Abrisham would ask for more information.
The words of the young master Abrisham that sounded ordinary to Samuel made Samuel develop a smile, and said a farewell sentence when the young master Abrisham promised not to prolong the matter again.
But not for Leon, who had changed his countenance to be more serious, especially when Samuel left the meeting room
" investigate the girl "
" he thought he was able to deceive me with such false information" said Kenzie coldly without looking at his confidant.
Anggie felt calm when he heard from Samuel who had given good news, but somehow Anggie felt unsettled even though Samuel gave good news.
" Sam "
" be careful "
" water that ripples no sign in "
" and vice versa" Anggie said in a telephone call.
" yes, miss "
" i'll be more careful "
" i also felt a different aura from young master Abrisham" Samuel said
" Hm "
" i don't want Zhaza to be related to the Abrisham family "
" they "
" you know that "
" if they want something, then they will try hard to get it "
" also if they do not want something, then they will try hard to drop until not rested "
" i don't want the split to repeat itself "
" Daddy is comfortable with the current situation, Sam" Anggie said unequivocally, as if Samuel was in his presence.
" well, miss "
" i will coordinate with David, and Pierre to pay attention to this even more carefully" Samuel said, before Anggie disconnected his phone.
Anggie breathed heavily, occasionally pressing on his temples,
" The Zha "
" elo yah "
" ck "
" troublesome" said Anggie staring at the vast expanse of horizon buildings that adorn the city that is now home to Anggie with Zhafira.
If Anggie is currently worried about Zhafira, then the person Anggie is worried about is busy thinking about what food he will bring home to his beloved mother, and his beloved sister. Zhafira, who had ended her time at the hospital, immediately changed her work clothes with the clothes she would wear for the trip home.
ting..tong ...ting.....
Zhafira who had arrived safely at his destination was the house owned by his mother, Aisyah.
Aisyah House, is a house that from the beginning became a silent witness of Aisyah's struggle to support her two children, where Aisyah pioneered the business of minus, minus experience, minus capital, but not minus prayer, because Aisha taught her children to continue to pray, even though they were punished with trials and trials of life
" son"
" God will never give His servant a test, beyond the limits of his ability "
" test, ordeal of life is only the way Allah longs for the way his servant asks by carrying out His command, by chanting a thread of prayer to Him, as stated in Surah Ghafir verse 6" pray to Me, I said, and I will grant you (what you expect) "
" so "
" pain out "
" for the promise of God is sure, son "
" God will be with those who are patient, Aisha reminded her two children who are still in a crisis phase of faith. Aisyah even invited her two children to further strengthen their faith by placing Zhafira and Zhidan in the right place, so that Zhafira in particular could surpass the most difficult phase of her life. Although Aisyah could not continue to accompany the princess, at least Aisyah always sent a strand of prayer in each after her prostration.
ceklek, the sound of the main door knob of the house was opened by a middle-aged woman who still looked beautiful. Unshackled aling Zhafira immediately embraced the body of the woman who had given birth, and fought for her life.
Zhafira, who had said the greeting sentence, was answered by Aisha with a little restrained by the actions of Zhafira who hugged her quite tightly.
Even Zhafira shamelessly spoiled to her mother.
Kiss after kiss pinned by Zhafira to the mother, to treat her longing that has eight hours more not met with her.
" mother must miss your favorite daughter very much, right" said Zhafira with a jumawa
" ish by "
" so bad you well "
" no tuh" said Aisyah, while walking to the front yard of the house to immediately lock the gate, because the day was quite night. After all Zhafira was the last occupant of the house to come home, there would be no more to come so Aisyah immediately rushed to lock the fence of the house.
" well "
" broken heart deh his "said Zhafira with a badmood expression
" it's up to "
" like my mother "
" by the way today's mother cooked what, bund "said Zhafira quite excited after she forgot the things that are not important for her to remember.
" don't ask too many questions, take a shower "
" the smell of the keteknya, it needs to be bathed" said Aisyah
" scented like this, said the smell "said Zhafira who had sniffed her armpits, because it was sultry and felt very sticky Zhafira decided to obey the orders of the mother, who had been, but before moving on Zhafira sprinkled another kiss in the area around Aisyah's face.
" Zhaza ! "
" your mother's face stinks of saliva" cried Aisyah, as Zhafira managed to escape towards her room located on the second floor of Aisyah's house, right next to her sister's room, Zhidans.
After Zhafira left to fulfill Aisyah's request, Aisyah was again busy checking all the doors of the house, windows, and so on, typical of a mother who ensures the house is safe, and the house is safe, then a new mother can sleep soundly and comfortably.
Aisyah had not immediately returned to her room after the princess' arrival. Usually Zhafira will invite Aisyah, and Zhidan to chat even if only briefly to create a close emotional connection between each other family members who are in one house.
Although just telling a dime about their daily lives when they fill their day with their respective activities.
Zhafira who had taken a bath, looking fresher than before, saw Zhafira descending every step of the stairs to the family room. Zhafira unceremoniously laid down her body on the same sofa as Aisyah. Even Zhafira put his head over Aisha's thigh. Aisha immediately responded by stroking the top of her son's head that was not wrapped in hijab.
Only inside Aisha's house did Zhafira remove her hijab. Therefore, Aisyah decided not to use the services of ART or household assistants, because Aisyah wanted her children, and she was comfortable in their own home. In addition, Aisyah can apply the principles of life to her children to be independent, help each other, and good attitudes to be developed and applied in everyday life. One important thing is that if there is an important secret that only very close people should know, then the secret will be safe to awake.
Not that having a domestic assistant is not safe, but there are positives and negatives of every decision taken. And according to Aisyah if her decision is the best decision.
Aisyah is still at home in the family room, Aisyah looks like watching television when in fact Aisyah is currently contemplating how the future of Zhafira and Zhidan.
Her household was destroyed because of the betrayal committed by the husband with a lover in the past of the husband, so that Aisyah was forced to let go of the husband for the desired happiness.
Aisyah was willing to let go to keep her heart, and the hearts of her three children, even Aisyah was willing to leave everything she had with her husband just to prove that she was a tough woman.
But something that became the best choice for her and the children to lead them to the rigors of life, Aisyah even sometimes felt suspicious about her choice at that time, which not only changed her life, but also changed her life, but it also changed the mindset of her children.
Where his three children become cold to the figure of his own father, even tend to reject his presence, and even, especially when the eldest son Aisyah and Adhitama who must die due to selfishness and desire to have property and the man who has become Aisyah's ex-husband.
It was also what became a starting point Zhafira closed the door of his heart to the presence of men in his life. Zhafira did not want to be hurt, did not want to be hurt just by a man . Zhafira never even thought to know a man, never wanted to own and be owned by a man, and would never be lulled by the love of a man who usually in the name of love, but then hurt the woman, when the woman had fallen in her hand.
Twitching the word love, then when the desire wants to have fulfilled, when the ambition has been fulfilled, then over time the sense will slowly begin to fade by itself, which he said love, then over time, it will slowly be thrown away like trash, when the taste has been exhausted is not left. Therefore Zhafira very much does not want to get caught up in the one word "love ".
The love that is never timeless is the love of a mother to her children, the love of the Khaliq, the love of God to the creatures of her creation, moreover, not love, according to Zhafira's thought. Because love, always wants to give without ever asking, always sacrificing but never willing to sacrifice, that's love according to the thoughts of Zhafira.
Zhafira willingly gave, willingly sacrificed for people with affection and it was sincere, but not for love, because his love only he gave to the chosen people only.
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