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Feeling Afraid and Sinful

Bagas flung out his body after achieving the satisfaction of his union at the core of Indhira. Although at first it was a bit difficult to enter it, especially with the attitude of Indhira who continued to refuse. However, the union was no longer neglected.

Bagas turned his head towards Indhira who was lying beside him. His eyes were closed, but his tears were dripping mixed with sweat because of their battle earlier. Indhira was seen biting her trembling lips as if holding back the sound of her tears.

Bagas grabbed Indhira's body and showered the beautiful face of the woman with a kiss.

" It's OK, nothing will happen, really! I threw it outside. You're not gonna get pregnant, Ra." Near Indhira's ear, Bagas whispered trying to calm down.

Indhira's eyelids opened and turned and stared cynically at Bagas.

" It's so good you said that, Bagas! We've sinned, you say it's okay?!" Indhira's voice sounded furious, until finally Indhira's crying sound was unbearable.

" Yes, yes, I'm sorry, I was wrong. But, how else? It happened ..." Bagas still considers this is a common thing in the association of young people today.

Indhira immediately got up when he heard Bagas' words. He then tidied up his clothes and would get out of bed.

" Srcj ..." Indhira held back her body that was about to rise.

" It hurts, Ra?" Bagas approached and grabbed Indhira's shoulder. However, Indhira brushed off his hand. He got back up and walked slowly.

" I want to go home!" he said with a tinge.

" Yes, I'll take you home. You want to shower first?"

" I want to go home now!" he said again, as if he did not want to hear Bagas' offer again.

" Okay ..." Bagas immediately put his clothes back on. He could not hold Indhira to remain lingering in the room anymore. Though in fact He wanted Andhira's presence beside him. But, it seemed like Indhira was really angry towards Bagas.

" Your eyes are red, are you sure you're going home now? Auntie and Om you'd be suspicious if you saw your eyes, Ra." When he saw Indhira's red and swollen eyes, Bagas was not sure he would bring Indhira home at this time. It will definitely raise the question of the Indhira family.

" I'll get you some ice cubes. Later your eyes are compressed so that they are reduced." Bagas ran outside the room without caring about Indhira's refusal.

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Although Bagas hand compresses the bottom of Indhira's eye. However, the clear liquid continued to reminisce in his eyeballs. Fear and feeling sinful so strongly enveloped his heart. How could he not be afraid and feel sinful? They, he and Bagas have done something that should only be done by couples who are already bound in the sacred bond of marriage. As for him and Bagas, they were both still sitting in the twelfth grade High School. But they have done something forbidden.

" Not crying, Ra. If you cry like this, when will you heal your swollen eyes? You won't be able to go home, you know! Or, would you like to stay here and repeat the last one?"

Indhira stared intently at Bagas with an annoyed grunting breath. He can still joke when he is feeling sad and guilty.

" Kidding, Ra." Seeing Indhira frowning, Bagas immediately clarified his words. However, what Bagas said next did not make Indhira's frustration subside, but increasingly inflamed.

Bagas could have said if it was just a joke. Indhira has lost her chastity and she considers it a joke? Indhira just snorted annoyedly and stroked his chest.

After Maghrib, Bagas finally brought Indhira home. Indhira even forgot his worship because of the incident earlier. His sins are very many. Indhira can only hope that Allah SWT, the Dzat owner of this universe will still open the door of His forgiveness for him, for the sins he has committed.

" We'll buy some food first, Ra. Make souvenirs with your aunt." Bagas steers his car at a pizza restaurant, without waiting for approval from Indhira.

" Let your aunt not be angry because you came home late" he continued.

Indhira just took a deep breath. Why, anyway? Bagas only thought about unimportant things? Why didn't he think about how broken he was because of what he did? Indhira lost something precious as a woman. Why Bagas actually think of a way to Aunt and Om Indhita not to be angry.

Indhira was silent. Not responding to anything said by Bagas, until finally Bagas finished ordering the drive thru pizza he wanted to give to the Indhira family.

Less than thirty minutes after ordering pizza for the Indhira family, they had arrived in front of Indhira's house. Bagas parked his car on the road in front of Indhira's house, because the yard of Indhira's house was not enough to park four-wheeled vehicles.

" We're entering the same." Bagas was sure that Om and Aunt Indhira would definitely scold Indhira, because he was late to go home until after seven o'clock at night. Therefore he had to accompany Indhira so that he did not feel fear.

They also got off the car stepping into Indhira's house with the same steps.

" Accelod ..." Indhira opened the door handle trying to open the door. But the door was locked from inside.

" Ofenugur ..." By knocking on the door, Indhira again said his greetings, hoping that his family members would hear and open the door.

" Did they leave, Ra?"

" Guard, Tan, Dahlia ...."

Not understanding Bagas' question, Indhira still knocked on his door.

This time Indhira calls managed to make someone open the door of the house.

" Where have you been at this hour ba...ru ... uh, there's Bagas, huh?" When opening the door, Aunt Marta immediately greeted Jndhira by jerking at the beginning of the sentence. But the tone of speech changed softly, as Aunt Marta's eyes saw the presence of Bagas beside Indhira.

" Night, Aunt. Sorry, Tan. I took Indhira late. There was an art show until the afternoon at school." Bagas greeted and gave an excuse to Aunt Marta why Indhira came home late.

" Oh, it's okay to have activities at school."

Bagas could see a fake smile on the middle-aged woman's lips.

" I hope, Auntie don't scold Indhira, huh?" Bagas asked Aunt Marta not to blame Indhira for coming home late.

" Oh, certainly not, Bagas. Aunty mana may be angry with Indhira. He's Aunt's only niece. Already an orphan, there's no way Auntie's going to be upset!" Aunt Marta perfected her charade by approaching and embracing Indhira's shoulders.

" right, right? Aunty never scolded you, Indhira?" The intimidation-pitched question language was heard from Aunt Marta.

" Oh yeah, Tan. I brought some souvenirs for the family." Bagas then gave two boxes of pizza to Aunt Marta.

" Well, why bother like this, anyway? But do not have to carry everything."

Even though his mouth was slipping. However, the face of Aunt Marta looks happy when receiving a hand from Bagas.

" Lia, Dahlia ...! This is Bagas bring souvenirs for you!" aunty Marta shouted calling out the name of her son Dahlia.

Bagas glanced at Indhira who lowered his gaze.I looked exhausted on Indhira's face. It seems he needs a break, until finally Bagas decided to say goodbye to go home.

" Aunty, I'm saying yes!?"

" Well, what's the hurry? Haven't seen Dahlia yet ..." Aunt Marta seemed to want to hold Bagas longer there.

" Lia, Dahlia ...! This is how good it is to go home ...!!" shout Aunt Marta back.

" Yes, Ma." From inside the room appeared a teenager of Indhira's age.

" Eh, there is Bagas' sister .." said Dahlia approaching Bagas.

" Lia, this is Bagas bring souvenirs for you."

" Well, thank you, brother. Bagas just know I like pizza."

The appearance of Dahlia made Bagas feel the need to leave Indhira's house immediately. Because he was lazy to serve the chatty mouth of Indhira's cousin.

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