PREGNANT WITHOUT BEING TOUCHED
Chapter 2

PREGNANT WITHOUT TOUCH (2)

It's been two weeks of our marriage, let alone touching him who is halal to me, seeing his face I have not been allowed, Namira just ask for time also ridhoku. Because she doesn't want to be an ungodly wife.

"But why did I touch Namira reluctantly? is that how forced she is to marry me?" I asked myself.

I kept thinking about the incident at dawn, during the congregational prayer for the first time, I offered my hand but namira did not welcome it, only a soft voice heard him say "sorry."

Me and Namira slept separately, she occupied the guest room as she had said before marriage that I should not ask for my rights, if she was not ready. I'm a normal man what it's like to not be able to touch a woman who's already halal, 'Tortured, ' my inner self.

"Please gus!" Namira put the black coffee and fried bananas still billowing on the small table in front of me.

what two very delicious dishes when enjoyed in the morning, what else in the drizzling weather like today.

Well, at Namira's request after marriage I immediately brought Namira to my private home that I already had before marriage. Regarding the pesantren, Abah said there was already Ustad fatih who would help Abah. But Abah asked me to come regularly even once a month.

"Byrr!" Call me for a moment when Namira will leave me.

Namira stopped, turned around for a while and looked down again.Namira was always like that, to see even he did not want to.

"Sit down! accompany me and have breakfast together" I said, patting the empty sofa next to me. Namira seemed hesitant, and I pretended not to see, but finally Namira sat down to take some distance from me.

I just sighed, "must I ask, about last night's Dion wedding? Who is the man he saw, the man he loved? But all I knew for a year was that watching him secretly no man was allowed to approach him." I said in my heart.

There was only the sound of rain, none of us wanted to open our voices.

"Aren't I the one who told her to stay here," I'm all for myself.

"May I ask?" Namira nodded her head. Before further asking me to sip a little coffee that is still hot, Namira's coffee is very delicious just like Umi's coffee.

Facing my body towards him, I stared at the face that was still covered in veil trying to find answers to all my doubts.

"Mir," called me, and hoped Namira would see me too, but no, she remained in the same position facing forward with her head bowed.

"I know, it must be very difficult for you to have this marriage without love, but not with me" I waited to see Namira's reaction. Namira was surprised, I can see from his movements.

I got up and pushed a little table in front of me. I dropped down to sit down in front of Namira, she was shocked and was about to get up, but I quickly held back, holding her wrist, nothing is halal. But Namira tried to pull her away from me, and I had no intention of holding her back, I did not want to make her uncomfortable.

"What did Gus Aslan mean to talk like that?" Finally the melodious voice that I missed was also heard in my ear, although it sounded very slow. somehow hearing his voice alone made my heart palpitate.

"Namira, you must have known we were betrothed in a short time, we were found and married. Actually our arranged marriage was from a year ago, but I asked Abah to give time to know you secretly. That's when I fell in love with you, so I married you out of love." I said with a look that didn't change from looking at her face, even from the side.

"Emm.." I paused my sentence because I hesitated to ask something. But I better ask to treat my curiosity.

" i was confused that one year there were months I never saw you, and I was looking for you, where were you?" I asked about the moon where Namira was never seen.

Namira was silent before he finally heard a sobbing from behind his veil, the veil was wet before Namira finally closed with both of her hands, "what's the matter with my wife?" my mind, looking at the woman in front of me with a feeling of complete error.

I got up and sat down near Namira, doubtfully embracing her shoulder with one hand and the other hand carrying her head into my arms.There was resistance from Namira, she said, I immediately rubbed his back to calm down and wanted to tell him that everything would be fine, even though I didn't know what was going on with my name.

Her body trembled violently like fear, Namira kept trying to break away, but I kept hugging her tightly.this time I will not let her loose from me. Her tears were getting broken, Namira was still covering her face with her hands, I let my woman blow whatever was weighing on her mind, I gave her as much time as I could by letting her cry in my arms. I was just trying to channel the love I already had for her through a small touch. faintly kissed the tip of her head, I rubbed her arm, I loosened my arms a little. sounded like a whisper from Namira's mouth, Namira said,

"Sorry.I'm sorry."

I slowly let go of my embrace, I looked at the face covered with the veil, the veil that was already soaked with tears. Namira lowered her head, I reimagined this self lifting her chin to look at her very shady light brown eye bead. Namira wanted to duck back but I held back,

"Don't" I said.

"Please! don't you put your head down again, please Mir! make my shoulder rest for you, trust me if you can share anything with me," I hold her hand, again the namira shakes like fear, the sound of her crying racing with the sound of rain.

Namira took a deep breath, in order to neutralize all the chest feelings, she was like trying to look at me, but feeling scared. I realized that and reassured him.

" i'm your husband, I love you wholeheartedly, I'm lawful to you, look at me without having to be afraid and hesitant," slowly Namira raised her face to look at me though not intense, but that was enough for me.

"Guss, I'm sorry," softly, her voice sounded like a whisper, Namira said that still with a sobbing sound.

"A..I am, I am," the voice of Namira as stifled and stammered.

"inappropriate for you, I'm a sinful woman, I'm dirty," break Namira's cry after saying that, while I still don't understand what it means to say her like that.

suddenly Namira stood away leaving me in confusion, I bowed Namira who went straight into the room and locked the door.

"Oh, what is the matter with my wife? should I ask my father-in-law, but what if Dad doesn't know anything and instead worries him," I messed up my hair feeling frustrated and failing as a husband.

"It looks like Namira is asleep. maybe she is tired because of crying a lot.but how is this, there is no way I let her sleep in such a position continue for sure her body will hurt later. but if I move I'm afraid Namira will be angry with me, because at this time Namira must not wear a veil, I promise I will not see her face without her permission," I scratched the head that does not itch.

But I kept venturing closer to Namira, just wanting to touch her Namira squirms and turns back on her back. I was frozen to see God's creation of a very beautiful sculpture, my eyes could not blink anything else turned away.A smooth white face that even a fly would be swept away.The face was without the slightest stain, and the, sharp nose like a girl of arab descent, thick eyebrows, pink lips without lipstick polish, long eyelashes and plump.

I dropped the body beside him, sat down and continued to admire mine that I could not have completely.

"I'd better leave it alone, I'm afraid Namira will be disappointed later if she finds out I saw her face, without her permission even accidentally."

In my heart I pleaded,

"O Allah give me more patience and strength to withstand this turmoil" I squeezed my chest and resisted the sudden urge to attack my sensitive nerves.

I got up and left the room, locked it back from the outside, I don't know if Namira could be suspicious, how not to lock her room no longer in place.

.

There was the sound of azan ashar, I returned to the door plan Namira, it did not take long the door opened showing a beautiful woman wearing a pink robe in line with her veil and veil.

"It's really pretty, '" I murmured slowly.

Her eyes were swollen, and Namira, who noticed that I was watching her, lowered her head.

"You want worshipers?" I ask, do not want to give the impression of forcing, let it flow as it is.

Namira nodded slowly and I walked over to take ablution with Namira following me behind. With a solemn feeling we performed congregational prayers, it was really like my dream. after the completion of the prayer and prayer I deliberately did not turn around to the back in addition to wanting to give him time to wear a veil, I also did not want to be like the days before, he said, I don't want to repeat the same mistake, making Namira scared.

When I wanted to get up, Namira called me,

"Gus! I. I want to talk, "Namira twisted the millin of her face, and there was a lot of tension on her face.

I quietly gave him time, I faced him I stared intensely at every movement of Namira's body.

Again Namira cried and made me feel like a sinner who had hurt my own wife.

"Are you really unhappy with this marriage? without even struggling with me?" my words that can no longer withstand the tightness in my chest, I hate myself for again making the woman I love cry.

Namira shook her head strongly, and it confused me. Only Namira's sobs could be heard, and I tried to hold back the roar in the chest.

I shuffled forward to be closer to the woman who had my wife's title, but I couldn't have it yet. Namira shifted her body back clearly she did not want to get close to me.

Huuufff...

I exhaled to loosen the tightness, I breathed back in some deep oxygen to fill the lungs, giving stock so I could hold back.

"Namira, I'm sorry if there were words that hurt your heart" I didn't take my eyes off her.

I gave Namira a shady look so that she would feel comfortable, I gave her a smile when she looked at me for just a moment. I shifted back to my seat near Namira, and there was no more movement from her like that.

"You can tell me anything about your husband, you have nothing to fear.I love you sincerely because of God," I once again tried to convince Namira.

this time namira dared to look at me, the bead of the eyes looked sad, like storing a very heavy burden. I kept trying to give her comfort by giving her a smile.

"Did you really love me? with all my flaws?" his voice was raucous, Namira seemed to be trying to hold her back which was actually shaking and holding back tears.

"If your shortcomings make you anxious, I will say if I love you so much and your shortcomings, because in fact there is no perfect human being, as well as me, who still has many shortcomings, especially as a husband..." I took a moment and a little oxygen.

"As a husband I have failed to please the woman I love so much, I can only make you cry." I bowed down, held something in my chest, and it hurt.

"I'm sorry, I can't be a full wife yet, and I can't be filial." I put my head up and looked back at Namira, who was also looking at me.

our two eyes met, a split second of that gaze tied us up, and Namira bowed again.

Still with his head bowed, with his hands tightly grasping the ends of the face,

"The moon I asked about where I was..." Namira shut up, take a pause.

It seemed Namira wanted to tell me something that had been weighing on her mind all along.

"Where are you?" my many.