Substitute Woman
The Jakarta

This is the day I've been waiting for. Five years studying in the land of people, making me miss my beloved homeland, Indonesia. I can't wait for the flight time back to Indonesia to arrive. Three hours from my departure, but since two hours ago I've packed all my clothes and belongings.

The heart feels pounding when it sees the moment by second changing. Deep longing for the city of birth. I can't wait to miss those I love. Papa, cousin brother, nephew, other relatives and friends are also close friends.

A boyfriend? I have no special relationship with a man. Singles, nicknames for me. There's a reason why I don't want to be in a relationship with a guy right now. I'm still waiting for someone who has wrapped his little finger around my little finger. Then make a promise at that time.

“I'll wait for you to grow up, then marry you later. I promise.” I see, he said.

He's my little friend. He's three years older than me. At first I always thought of him as my own brother, gradually I felt different things.

People say it's a monkey's love. Funny to remember that.

We're always together. Go to school, go to school, play together. Pass the time.

Papa and his parents have been friends since childhood. What a beautiful friendship.

Unfortunately, it's all over. At the age of ten, he moved out of town. Follows his parents who get assignments outside the city. Sad feeling. I remember when the farewell arrived.

He gave me memories to remember them always. Also a sweet promise for the last time.

“Don't cry, Brother is definitely coming back. Hug the doll if you miss.”

He wiped away the trace of tears on his face, then scrambled the top of his head and pinched my cheek. The thing that always makes me upset. I was seven years old then. Still cute.

“Sister promises to marry you after we both finish college.”

A promise I remember until now. Maybe he forgot about it. Even though we were kids back then, I assumed it was his seriousness. He was the second man after Papa to fill my heart. Protector when I was bullied by a gang of bad boys.

Give greetings to the rain and wind. That's what he taught me.

“If you miss, you can send my greetings to the rain and wind.”

“Can they whisper about what I say, Brother?”

“Of course you can. Try it, later I will send my greetings to you through rain and wind.”

It was all a lie. Rain and wind do not know where it is. Then I tried to write a message and tie it to the balloon. Let the balloon fly to get my message across. In fact, there was no reply to that message. Twenty balloons I've spent. One balloon a day, that means I've been waiting for him twenty days.

Until I got tired and gave up. To live the day with disappointment. He has no news until now. I asked Papa not to know where his family was.

I am twenty-one years old now, maybe twenty-four years old. Maybe he's married. Forgetting the promises he made.

I should not have believed the promise, but somehow this heart was so sure that it would come true. However, still I think he has a lover or a wife. No woman could be close to him. Besides being handsome he also has a high IQ, therefore he is always ranked first in his school.

That's why I always refuse men who come near. I don't want to be in a relationship with any man before I meet him.

Somehow her face is now, just a childhood photo that I always keep.

I was still waiting for him with the same taste and the same heart.

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