Substitute Woman
Shindy

People say that in life, we love someone twice. First and last love. Most first loves are memories.

Not a moment, but a lifetime of memories. Actually from first love we can learn a lot from the mistakes that occur.

First love is beautiful. Very lovely.

And this is how I feel.

That man was my first love. Without me noticing the sense of it had grown as time went on. Even though this love only claps one hand. It takes a lot of time to forget all the memories. There are so many wonderful memories we have been through. So hard to forget.

Even when we were apart there were not a few memories that were lost from memory.

“You sure you're going home?” ask Brother Tomy.

I can only nod. Every time you want to speak in front of him, these two eyes always heat up. Unable to withstand the pain in the chest.

Is this as weak as I am? Just because love is unrequited.

“Mey, until when did you get your sister?” he said it sounded clear.

Until you explain everything to me. What does all this mean? Why did you take me and say that you will make the promise that was said first.

Yeah, that should be what I said. Unfortunately, it can only be said in the heart.

“Mey, answer questions Brother!”

The atmosphere tonight is so quiet. In a park near Kak Tomy's house, we sat together. Enjoy the night air with the stars. Those who bear witness to this pain.

I just stared at the grass. Explores about everything that has happened. It doesn't make sense. He opened my heart because he was the reason why I survived.

Then he easily left behind thousands of knives stuck in his heart. When this sense began to believe that my future was him.

“Sorry, if Kaka is wrong.”

I'm still silent. Wanted to blow it all away, but somehow.

Yells out? Hit him? Crying out?

Maybe it'll all be home, because it won't change things. He's gonna marry another woman.

“I want to go home, it's malem.” I stood up and I was about to step.

He pulled my hand. “At least give Brother an explanation first. Why are you like this!”

I let out a breath. Resist all turmoil in the heart.

“Supposed to be the one to explain! Not me! Why do you lie to me, Hah!”

At least this slightly reduces this pain.

Brother Tomy looked at me in wonder. Then he stood up and hugged me tightly.

Decide on this heart. Weakness that makes tears shed. In his arms I still feel that comfort. Even though I knew I would miss this moment.

“I'm sorry Brother, Mey. If your attitude makes you this sick.”

I kept sobbing in his arms. Making a shirt that is worn wet on the chest.

“Kakak will clear everything.” Brother Tomy let go of a hug.

“You are calm yes. Don't cry anymore.” He wiped my tears.

“Not necessary, Brother. I already know everything. May you be happy and the show is smooth. I'm going home first.”

I ran without caring for Brother Tomy who called my name.

Maybe this is the last meeting and hug. Next I will never see him again. Removing traces of her along with memories of the past.

***

Morning has arrived, I am still awake with tears the currency can no longer be held back. Eyes may already look puffy. The drowsiness had been defeated by this pain.

All the stuff I packed. Waiting for an online taxi to take me to the airport.

“Mey, where are you going?” ask the mother who first saw me out of the room carrying a suitcase.

“I'm going home, Mom. Soon a taxi is coming.”

“Yes Allah, Mey. Your face is pale, you go home tomorrow?”

“Ngak, Mom. I've booked a ticket too.”

“Nothing, Mom. I can do it myself. I'm sorry, Mom. Over here Mey ngerepotin Mom.”

Mother hugged me tightly, that drop of tears flowing from the corner of her eyes.

“Mey, I never felt in reportin with you. I always thought you were like a mother's child.”

“Thank you, Mom. Mey very dear with Mother.”

“Ah, a minute yes, mom wake Tomy first.”

“Bu, jangang!” I prevented it.

However, Mother had entered into Brother Tomy's room, along with the sound of the car engine stopping. The taxi I ordered has arrived.

I immediately left the house of Brother Tomy without saying goodbye to Mother, Brother Tomy and Raisa.

Good bye everyone. Maybe I'll never have a mother again.

***

[Mey, where are you?] Message from Brother Tomy.

Ignored him. Continue to eat breakfast even though the stomach is reluctant to accept. Nausea, the body starts to feel cold. It doesn't seem to feel well. Want to rest but where might I go back to Mom's house.

“Nduk, you sick?” ask the owner of the stall I'm visiting to enjoy breakfast.

“Ngak, Mom. Maybe less rest.”

The owner of the stall looked at me and then turned to the suitcase I was carrying.

“Where are you going? Search kost huh?”

“Ngak, Mom. I want to go home to Jakarta.”

“Oah, alone? You certain? Your face is really big, Nduk.”

I smile. “Yakin, Mom. Two hours to Jakarta coming.”

“Eh, still a long time. Rest at home mom only want Ndak?”

“Previous thank you for the offer. But there's only one promise someone made to meet.”

“Oh, yes already. So be careful, Nduk.”

I'm nodding. It feels comfortable in this city. People okay. Especially that food shop mom. Even though he doesn't know me very well.

Finished eating breakfast and finished two glasses of warm sweet tea, I left aimlessly. Where should I go while waiting for the flight schedule.

The two cups of tea gave a little taste in the stomach.

“Mey!” Someone's voice called my name.

I stopped the step. No one knows me here other than ....

Brother Tomy?

“Mey, wait!” He ran towards me.

I kept going even though this step was slowing down. Sweat and the body feels weak.

Slowly the call sounded away along with my dark gaze. All disappeared into the darkness. There was a faint sound of Brother Tomy calling my name. Then there was nothing to hear but this darkness.

I don't know what's going on.

Next ....

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