Teach Me to Know Islam
Ismail's admiration
On the island of Sulawesi 2 pairsnga are still enjoying their honeymoon, while on the island of Borneo there is a young man who put his heart on a very kyai grandson, kyai, ever since Ismail met Zahra at the marriage of ibra and mira he was very fond of zahra even desperate to propose to him.
During the ahmad holiday ismail replace his schedule, today it happens that Pak kyai told ismail to finish his work in the room of Pak kyai, ismail stole the opportunity, there he did not see the trunk of his nose zahra, he said, because zahra is in the library.
"His work is done hehehe" said Ismail
"Ohw yes, son, thank you we coffee first yuk" asked mr. kyai
"yes sir" replied Ismail pleased
"Son ismail, I'm not married" asked Pak Kyai
"Not met your soul mate sir" replied Ismail laughing
"Hahaha, you can want to walk the best way is through taaruf, just taaruf it should not be too long" said Pak kyai gave advice
"yes sir" replied Ismail slowly
"gimana procedures taaruf according to Islamic shariah sir "tanya ismail
"Look son, Taaruf is highly recommended in Islam, rather than a man and woman dating before going to the wedding. Because if dating is feared men and women who are not muhrim commit adultery.
Taaruf is derived from the word ta'arafa - yata'arafu. It means getting to know each other before going to marriage.
In Surat Al-Hujurat verse 13, Allah SWT said:
يَاأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَأُنْثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا
"O mankind, we created you from a man and a woman, and made you peoples and tribes so that you may know one another (li-ta'arofu) ..." (QS. al-Hujurat: 13).
Taaruf is generally performed before the khitbah. Khitbah is a proposal, offering to get married.
Read also: Beautiful Taaruf, Marriage Story Without Sociopreneur Amaliah Begum
Here's the taaruf system:
Intention
Straighten intentions. If you really do because there is good faith, which is to want to get married. Not for reasons like wanting to play someone else.
Prophet Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:
لاَ يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لأَخِيْهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ
meaning: You will not believe until you like the good attitude of his brother, just as he wants to be treated the same good. (CHR. Bukhari & Muslim)
Cannot Be Doubtful
Before the marriage contract, both prospective partners, both men and women, the status is someone else. Both are not allowed to be alone. For if only the pairing between a man and a woman is not a muhrim, Satan becomes a third party, who wants to plunge man into immortality.
In a hadith the Prophet reminded:
لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ أَحَدُكُمْ بِامْرَأَةٍ فَإِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ ثَالِثُهُمَا
Change Biodata
At the time of taaruf, each can tell each other his biography in writing. So it does not have to have a meeting to tell each other stories. The writing represents the oral. Not everything has to be opened. There is a section that needs to be frank, especially regarding the data needed for family continuity. Additional information could be through third parties such as his older brother or parents.
Meet
Once the taaruf is accepted, it can be continued with the nadzar. Nadzar can be done by coming to the house of the bride and facing her parents directly.
From al-Mughirah ibn Syu'bah radhiyallahu'anhu, he recounts,
"One time when I was at the side of the Prophet shallallahu'alaihi wasallam, suddenly came a man. He wants to marry Anshar's woman. Then the Prophet of Allah shallallahu'alaihi wasallam asked him,
"Have you seen it?"
He said, "Not yet."
Then he ordered,
انْظُرْ إِلَيْهَا فَإِنَّهُ أَحْرَى أَنْ يُؤْدَمَ بَيْنَكُمَا
"Look at the woman, so that your love may last longer." (CHR. Turmudzi 1087, Ibn Majah 1865 and al-Albani)
Allowed to Give Gifts
Gifts before the wedding, should only be owned by the woman, the future wife and not her family.
From Abdullah bin Amr bin al-Ash radhiyallahu 'anhuma, Rasulullah shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda,
مَا كَانَ مِنْ صَدَاقٍ أَوْ حِبَاءٍ أَوْ عدةٍ قَبْلَ عِصْمَةِ النِّكَاحِ فَهُوَ لَهَا وَمَا كَانَ بَعْدَ عِصْمَةِ النِّكَاحِ فَهُوَ لِمَنْ أُعْطِيَهُ أَوْ حُبِىَ
"All dowries, gifts, and promises before the marriage contract belong to the bride-to-be. Another case with the gift after the marriage contract, it all belongs to the person given". (CHR. Abu Daud 2129)
If you continue to get married, then the gift becomes the right of the bride. If the marriage is annulled, the gift can be returned.
For taaruf online, it can be done. Especially now that the online taaruf application has appeared. But the taaruf should still be done in accordance with Islamic sharia.Such like that nak ismail" said Pak kyai
"yes sir "answer ismail
"Do you already have a candidate "ask mr. Kyai
"No sir, just admire it" said Ismail
"the story is son insya Allah if it can be helped I will help" said Pak kyai smiling
Finally they were coffee together until magrib time.