The Married To My Childhood Friend
Eps.18 First kiss

Heartbreaking farewell, I lost color in my life, he didn't come to tell me that he was leaving, he left me, and then I went back to the point where the money was going to talk to make friends, several years passed, annoyed, hated, I was fed up with this, so I decided to be alone, because even having a friend seemed unable to replace the Hanian in my heart.

"The courage I like you, I want to be with you," the feeling grew every day, all I wanted was to be with him avoiding the shackling sadness of everyday, breathing stuffy with blank stares. When I was desperate, I really believed that now the magic was working, where I believed we could meet, at the supermarket when I bought toiletries and everything else, of course, because I just moved in, he looked at Haru and hugged me. And back to the fact that I'm at his house right now.

"Lili you're crying? Whahuh? What the hell's going on? I hurt you?" he panicked

"No Hanian, before I just wanted to thank you, but now I understand why I like you, because I was so dependent on you at the time" I'm pretty sure, it was just a feeling of liking because he was the person closest to me than my family, huh? The family? Have I ever felt it?

"Wait why are your expressions sad again? And it doesn't matter if you want to rely on me,"

"Courage" I just want to cry right now

"Li-Lily?" he looks worried

"I must forget this feeling"

"What's? Don't be so Lili, why are you unstable?"

"How do I know?"

"That's how you feel, Lili, you're just fixated on the past, you're always considering something that doesn't mean it's a problem for you,"

"What?"

"Don't think too much, don't just think about your problems,"

"What do you mean?"

"Try to relax, let's calm down" strangely she always managed to calm me down

"Yeah you're right, and this is the phase where I'm fixing these weird, dark thoughts!"

"Ahhh Lili you worry me" she hugged me, it feels like the current Hanian feels like the past Hanian

"I want to be with you" I accidentally said what I was thinking now

"That's great, so why can't we stay together?"

"No, that's not very good"

"Hmm tell me what Lili wants, you're not easy to handle hmm"

"Not easy to handle?"

"I obviously know how you feel, but why are you resisting?"

"You don't understand?"

"I understand, but still"

"All I want is a good Hanian"

"I'm evil now hmm?"

"You know very well you now, right?"

"I lost, Lili"

"So,"

"I'll take your heart slowly" he smiled again and again, but I finally realized, it was like a fake smile, he was hiding his emotions, or maybe as a child, he was a person who had two personalities, I mean two masks hmm?

"Now I feel how stupid I am" I murmured

"It's okay Lili, it's better"

"Pretend not to know"

"But I heard," ishh Hanian was annoying

"Liliku doesn't want me to be an asshole, does he?"

"Hmm yeah,"

"Then I'll do it" she kissed the back of my hand

" ... " I don't want to talk anymore

"You've always been like this Lili, it worries me" and then some waiter serves so much food.

"It's a lot, you eat it yourself?"

"With Lilies certainly"

"I am, I am,"

"It's precious time for me Lili, eat with me, you're so skinny, you know? I want to protect you" she seems serious about her words, but it's scary to know it's her obsession

"All right, just a few mouthfuls"

"No, it has to be a lot more than what you've been eating all this time,"

Ahh you're the regulatory system in my life, "it's like childhood, but it's good for me, it's just that now I don't like being set up.

"Hmm how this regulatory system will change your life hmm," a mischievous smile

"Your smile is scary now hey,"

"What's? It's a pretty smile I have Lili," now a row of her teeth are showing, it's better.

"You know Lili,"

"Hmm?"

"No, let's eat"

"Let me alone, move there on the other end"

"Oh where are your parents?"

"There's an office"

" ... " I'd better not ask more, he's kind of bothered.

...***...

Hanian and I spent more time in the library.

"Do you like to read books?"

"To be honest in my life, I rarely read a book, usually a reading aunt, or nothing at all" like my dusty novel

"I thought you liked books,"

"Like, it's just lazy to look at the pile of books that are mountainous"

"Hmm here are many stacks of books, do I burn them into one, and only one remains" what crazy idea is that?!!

"Don't you freak H-Hanian," what the hell was he thinking?!

"Alright because Lili is lazy to read"

"Hey," that's true, too

"I'll read it to Lili, "he's looking for the right book.

"Hmm It tells of a male servant liking his nona," I listened to him with a cup of tea at the table, somewhat funny because he was so serious about reading. Even the night did not feel so fast, I had contacted the house person to return much longer before.

"Well, this is enough,"

"Lili you sure you didn't stay the night today?"

"I'm enjoying this, but you can't hold me back any longer"

"It's a shame"

"I won't always obey you" I imitated her smile and she froze.

"Oh, I have to wait for my driver" I called him

"I'll accompany you"

"Hmm well" and at the gate we waited for the driver who was going to pick me up

"Lili, don't you want to date me?"

"Give me a reason why it should?"

"I want to protect Lili, I wish you happiness, always"

"Me too,"

"So how"

"Although it's too late, I want to"

"You want to?"

"Hmm yeah" I smiled, and honestly I couldn't let go of the splinter I was waiting for, as the heart meant, I had to have more positive thoughts, discouraging prejudices.

"It's not too late, it's just that I haven't prepared anything for Lili,"

"Hmm no need,"

"Should dong" she hugged me, and kissed my forehead, as she almost wanted to kiss my lips, I reflexively dodged, it was a little awkward

"Hmm? It's okay Lili" but she held my face with her hands, then kissed my lips slowly, Hanian was so soft, she seemed to liken me to a glass.

" ... " Hmm? So how long will this last?

"Now breathe," she kissed my forehead again with tenderness, I was embarrassed and could only hug her hiding my face.

"Hahaha gosh Lili is so adorable, I so want to once again," I interrupted her by pinching her back

"Oww, my shy cat," I let go of my embrace

"You enjoyed it, right?"

"Be stupid"

"We're the same as getting the first kiss, I'm the one waiting for this moment, and what about you, Lili?" I didn't expect it either, I could only imagine without thinking it would happen, let alone that first kiss. I'm glad he didn't do it with another woman.

"You look happy, me too, and is that really your first kiss?"

"Te-of course!" Tinnn!!. honked my driver's car, it seems that he didn't get lost, mother put competent people around me...

"I-I have to go,"

"Ohh unfortunately, when I want more"

"Ishhhh shut up!"

"Hahaha" he seemed to be comforted by my height, damn it.

"Next time I'll kiss you, Wee!!!" I stick out my tongue to mock him.

"Oh this time with tongue right?" What is he thinking?!! My face is as red as an apple guess me.

"No no no shrimp brains, I'm just kidding!"

"Now you call me shrimp brains, you must be punished, miss,"

"I'm not afraid"