This Love Killed Me (Dark Love)
My Mom is Asian

A breath that sounded heavy, filled the silence within the surau. On the sajaddah held on the floor, Jordan gathered while raising both hands.

A drop of her tears escaped and fell down her palm. Lost is already the cold and cruel side in him, all that remains is a sense of unparalleled regret.

"O Allah .. forgive my sins" whispered Jordan, too sick to remember his sinful life.

"Give yourself a chance to improve, O God. Give way to return to You. Please, God." Jordan looked down, letting his tears fall. The little burden in his heart seemed to diminish, after weeping before Him.

A few minutes passed, but Jordan still remained unmoved. He still faithfully lowered his head while shedding tears, he longed for times like these. Jordan did not care even though Freya looked at him, compared to regret, shame seemed meaningless.

Jordan bit his lips hard, he tried to brush off the dark shadows of the past. Now, Jordan began to think of one thing that he had neglected, namely the whereabouts of his parents.

So far, he doesn't care about them at all. He is too proud and always upholds himself, so he thinks that his parents are not something important.

"There's still a way to find them" Jordan murmured.

The only thing he ever had was a photograph, which the mother said was a picture of his mother. But on that fateful night, all the belongings in the parlour were destroyed without rest, including a photo of his mother.

In fact, it was not difficult for Jordan to paint a sketch of his face, and with his power, it was likely that he could find the woman. However, his disappointment made him reluctant to do so. He promised to play his role well, as a wasted child.

"Jordan! Aren't you done yet?" Freya's question breaks Jordan's daydream.

"It." Jordan replied with a long sigh.

"Then let's go back" said Freya. For a long time he had been staring at Jordan contemplating, and he intended to distract him.

"Come on." Jordan moved from his seat. It rolls the sajaddah where it rests, then returns it to its original place. Jordan approached Freya with a stiff smile.

"Sorry to keep you waiting a long time" Jordan said.

"You want to say sorry, did your heart really turn, Jordan?" inner Freya.

"It's okay." Freya gave a smile as she looked at Jordan's sad face.

Jordan no longer said a word, he continued to swing his legs up to the terrace of the surau. Freya did not ask much, she followed Jordan's steps with a more comfortable feeling.

The two walked down the aisle, then they stopped in the waiting chair, in front of the IGD.

Jordan and Freya sat together as before. Sometimes Freya glanced at Jordan who was still silent without a word. Just a puff of breath and a clattering of steps in the distance became the voice between them.

"Freya!" call Jordan after a half-hour silence.

"Yes" answered Freya.

"Are you sure of your choice?" ask Jordan.

"Yes. You repent and turn back to God, are you sure God will forgive your sins? We're murderers, is there still an apology door for humans like us?" Jordan turned his head and looked at Freya intently, as if he was really looking for certainty.

"Jordan." Freya clasped Jordan's shoulder. "God is forgiving, as long as the intention is sincere, and we truly regret it all, I am sure that God is still willing to forgive. God is the loving God of Jordan, God surely accepts us. In addition to asking for forgiveness and promising not to repeat it again, we must also be prejudiced, Jordan. Rest assured, trust me, never doubt His love and love" he continued.

Jordan took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. He repeated it many times, as if it was a way to calm the mind.

"Freya!" call Jordan.

"Hmm."

"There's actually one more thing that's stuck" Jordan said.

"What's that?" ask Freya.

"My parents," Jordan answered softly.

"Old man?" asked Freya while frowning in wonder.

"Yes. All this time I felt able to live alone, so never care about their existence, but now, somehow I want to look for it," said Jordan.

"You got a lead?" ask Freya.

Jordan shook his head, "nothing. I've never met them, nor do I know their names. Mommy used to be at the parlour giving me a picture, but I haven't had one since that fateful night."

"Do you remember what his face looked like?" ask Freya.

"Yes." Yeah." Jordan nodded. "But is there still a chance? Isn't it too late?" continued.

"Not too late, Jordan. There is always a way for those who want to try, and there is always hope for those who want to pray" Freya said with a big smile.

"What if they're gone" Jordan murmured.

"At least you can still make a pilgrimage to his grave" Freya said quickly.

"Is that so?"

"Yes." Yeah." Freya nodded, "but, wait for Kamila to improve, yes. After that, I can accompany you to Russia.

"Not directly to Russia, Freya. From the photos I've seen, Mom is Asian. So I'm going to stay here, and spread my men all over the continent" Jordan said.

Seriate...