YOUR LOVE IS DISAPPEARING
Chapter 10

Mayang POV

While working at Bagas's caffe, I looked cleaner. I was just a harvester or in his caffe and I assigned Mr. Bagas as his personal assistant. The athletic man looked at me with pity, at the beginning we met at the market, when I fell unconscious and he was the helper at that time.

Mr. Bagas is a very good man. But not as good as his relationship with his wife, I know when my boss picks up his device and talks to his wife, although a little far away I can still hear the faint voice of the boss when complaining about no presence on his daughter's birthday.

Ah, birthday. Ali my son never felt the name of a birthday at all, even though his father had a lot of money. Remembering the father of my son made my chest ache.

Mr. Bagas and I only work as employees and superiors no more, but Mr. Bagas too pay attention to my appearance must look neat so that buyers never doubt the hygienic cuisine and food. That's message.

So all this time I was, yeah that's why maybe the father of my son was disgusted with me, all day just wearing a shabby negligee that had been a few years ago. But it's okay, with his attitude to treat me like a concubine then I better understand how I should organize myself, I can also be good, even more graceful than the actors out there. As long as the existing funds continue to flow rapidly.

Exactly the first day I worked with Mr. Bagas, I was given a permit that made my heart flower. But behind my husband's attitude, I kept a deep suspicion, evident when he did not give me shopping money, even for Ali's snacks he was reluctant to spend a penny.

I am also not as stupid as the man imagined, obey what he wants by reason heaven is under the soles of his feet. To hell with the heaven he made, I could find my paradise in my own way.

I was about to call him when I passed through a pretty good rented complex, parked clearly there a luxury car that my son's father used to wear. But I neglected to wait until I got to work to ask what he was doing in the many boarding houses inhabited by women.

I sent him a message like I never knew where and what the tall man who was now my son's father was doing. He answered his potluck and was angry when I told him to buy food outside, so irritated that I wanted to finish off the man if I didn't remember that he was the father of my son.

It could be that he said that there was no money, always that came out of his mouth when he was every month payday and now there are cars even now taking home installments. I have prevented it but my words have never been ignored, am I just trash to him?

I'm so grateful this time Mr. Bagas cares much more about me even though he's nobody to me, I mean not a special person in a relationship.

Sometimes I feel surprised, so happy if the people closest to him feel the pain, whether he feels proud to have a luxury motorbike, car and even a luxury home to show off alone, he said, while his son ate potluck and his wife had to slam bones in order to cover the shortcomings of the living he gave.

Lord I am so sorry for the persuasion first, until I am willing not to continue my studies to marry him. Even I ignored the cries of my mother at that time, the mother who had paid for my hard-earned college but I lightly told my mother would replace all the losses that my mother had ever incurred for my college expenses, I was full of confidence because of the man I called my current husband PNS so I thought he would gladly make up for the loss that I bear. It's just nonsense.

The woman who gave birth to me was only able to be silent. I know mother's silence is full of meaning, regret is also a deep disappointment. But I'm lucky to have only one son if I have many children maybe I'll feel a soul shake.

Too much thinking of men who make hearts and minds chaotic makes me feel the heat is excessive.

____

I don't know how long I slept until I didn't realize that Rohman was sitting next to the bed playing his pick. I know he's not comfortable just lying next to me. It's okay, I'll make him bend his knees in front of me.

I glanced at the wall already at nine in the evening, so I fell asleep in the afternoon on an empty stomach. She felt her heartache in the man who was now beside me. I squinted, peering at what my son's father did to his flat object.

My heart felt so hot to see the row of love that my husband sent to the woman who did not know what his name was, I could not see clearly because the position he was sitting slightly tilted.

Okay, fine!

Now we're going to start the game you've planned my dear husband. It was like wanting to get out my stomach to mention him as a dearest person.

The night continued to crawl up, the father of my son continued to struggle with his flat object, not even touching me at all. It's okay if he doesn't touch me it'll be better, no insults coming out of his dirty lips tonight.

I rose from my sleep a typical person who reflexes shock when remembering something. I saw my son's father hiding his device.

”Kok wake. Where are you going, Dek?” He asked while linking his two thick eyebrows.

”Ali, I miss Ali,” I replied in a hurry. That's exactly how I feel. Too much of my time is wasted on providing and obeying what the man in front of me is doing is making me slow to notice Ali.

”She is safe with mom,” her lips without guilt.

”I know, but I want him home, he's our son, Bang. Not my mother's son,”sungutku. Very upset if for the affairs of children he considers trivial.

”Go yourself yes!” Rigorously.

All right, who needs a ride from his bike and his car. Just ride the best woman you think is Bang. I can only hide.

Tracing the street that was only illuminated by the porch lights of the people's house, I walked to my mother's house, I did not have my own motorbike, where to walk, where to walk, even picking up Ali, I walked to his school, not that I couldn't drive it, just that my bike was sold by the Rohman bang for his down payment on his expensive motorcycle installments.

It feels like this heart is empty, living without a handle. Husband who should be a place to indulge even make this heart broken is not left. My love for him is not left a little because of his attitude that changes over time.

If only your attitude was like it used to be. There is no way, because he is still him, there is no way to incarnate like a prince in a fairy tale country.

My feet ached a little for walking a few meters, my fear never existed again, even if God wanted to take my life I was ready.

Gts ... Geck...

”Assalamulaikum.., Ma'am,” my regards while continuing to knock on the door leaf. Shortly heard the sound of the switch in the swipe.

”Walaikumsalam,” sahut mom with typical sound wake up.

”Where to, Bu?” ask me without a stale base.

”Ali is asleep, why are your nights here?” Ask mom again, her eyebrows are tied together. ”You guys at the storm house?” Further. My eyes are looking for something outside the home.

”We're not making a fuss, Mom. It's just that I think of Ali, I also want to sleep here,”. I snuck into the room I used to stay in if I stayed at my mother's house.

Now I cannot keep following what others want, while my will is ignored. If you want to be happy, then happy yourself, not because of other men who are now more attentive to me but his advice that I remember.

I used to think that God was never fair to me, God always sided with him who always wronged me, felt useless I spilled my heart on the prayer mat. In fact I was wrong, the more I heard the advice that made this heart comfortable, the more wisdom I could find behind the attitude of bang Rohman and his family.

For a moment my heart wants to forget him, forget what he did to me, let me forget all the burdens for a moment.

Seriate....