YOUR LOVE IS DISAPPEARING
Chapter 43

POV Rohman

I am a despicable and dirty human being, it feels really inappropriate that I ask Mayang back but on the other hand I want to serve and would like to apologize to him.

I can not deny I also still hope that Mayang does not fall into the arms of others.

Soon Mayang asked me to meet him in the city park, although a little curious about the purpose of inviting me to meet but I did not dare to ask through WhatsApp messages, but I prefer to appreciate it now and so on.

At the meeting I'll tell him I have HIV, so he can understand and give Ali an understanding so they don't eat and drink the marks off my lips, because HIV can be transmitted through saliva scars and body contact.

Yes body relationship.

I Rohman won't touch Mayang if we're married unless I use that security if Mayang pleases.

The sun was so high, I kept the parking lot as much as I could, although many people complained and many were sympathetic to me, but I was comfortable with this job, if only I had done it a long time ago maybe I would have felt happy this time with Mayang.

As the saying goes, rice has become porridge, that's how I am today. A beautiful life together I can't live perfectly anymore.

Lately I have often seen Mayang not open the game store, I don't know what happened. I hope my hunch is wrong.

"Sir, don't take care of the parking lot?!" I'm looking for a loophole to be allowed not to work today.

"Why?" Ask the old man who I consider to be my father.

"You'll see Mayang, sir," I replied honestly, because soon I'll start a new life.

Ah, no.

Exactly an old life that I repeated again, with a different concept.

"Yes, tomorrow we have to take care of the parking lot. Replace me who is off," always make me smile knot. That almost stooped old man still looks strong compared to this young me.

I still suppose if I am not sick maybe my life is not this painful, I have to clean myself and then look for the best clothes I have, I want to look neat in front of Mayang even though my feet close my current position.

.

.

.

___

I looked at my watch that was starting to dull show the number one less, but the woman I was waiting for still had not arrived, she should have come. Ah, let me wait longer this time because he was always faithful waiting for me even though sometimes I did not come home.

"Bao. Sorry to be late," someone touched my shoulder from behind, that voice I recognized.

"Yes, no problem. I also just came," I replied lying, leave it as long as he was happy this time.

"Hungry. Eat yuk first!" The woman who gave birth to my son sat beside me without feeling disgusted, unlike me who always felt disgusted at him.

"I have no money, Mayang," I said. My God why these words I always say to Mayang from long ago to now, I used to lie but today I am very honest because of the money I used to buy medicine.

"Let me buy it" said Mayang, commenting on a smile. Why is Mayang always doing good to me when I always hurt his heart.

"No need Mayang, brother is not hungry," I said slowly with a small smile, I was so ashamed of Mayang if he gave me another meal, it was enough that he fed himself with sweat that I never appreciated at all.

Mayang helped me to stand up and held my hand to a small restaurant near the park, several times I refused but Mayang still forced me to eat with him, because he said 'Rejeki has been arranged'.

The woman who used to be kudzalimi now even loves me sincerely, I look at Mayang's face that is too tired, looks a little blackened under his eyes.

"Take your food, Bang," she said with her mouth still filled with rice. Looks like he's really hungry.

I just nodded in response to his request, not wanting to disappoint him at all, I went to eat the food he ordered.

Before long the food has been left unresponsive toilet, I hope Mayang first open the conversation. He opened his gawai and smiled at his gawai, no matter who the message was from but at this time I felt jealous if he was close to another man.

I realized that I was so selfish if I had to be jealous of things I shouldn't be jealous of.

"What are you talking about, Mayang?" I asked Mayang, I was tired of seeing him smiling at his face.

"Oh yes I almost forgot," said Mayang while chuckling amusedly and then put his clothes in his bag.

"Is there anything important?" I tried to catch my breath hunting faster, why the groggy feeling suddenly attacked.

"Look, Bang. I accepted the offer to come back with you not because I still love you but ..." Mayang's words made my world collapse, but I couldn't force him to love me like he used to, I realized my treatment of him was enough to make his love for me erode to nothing.

"Then?" I set my breath to look fine in front of Mayang.

"All for Ali's sake, I want you to spend your precious time on Ali, our son has long lost his father's figure," Mayang said in a flat tone, his face clearly hiding tears.

The woman who gave birth to my son is so good, I've been hurt still wish I was a good father to Ali, but wait! Why did he say time was precious?

"Precious time? What do you mean, Mayang?" I lit a cigarette to avoid my nervousness.

"Yes, Bang. I know everything includes ..." Mayang paused his words. Ah, my heart is not feeling good right now.

"What's included, Mayang?" I asked after that I inhaled a deep cigarette.

"Including you with HIV, Bang."

My chest felt tight as I exhaled the cigarette smoke that had recently accompanied me.

"Sorry, Bang if my words hurt you. Whatever your illness I receive and I will tell Ali that not to drink twelve from your glass later," Mayang continued with an anxious face.

"Ga nothing, Mayang. I'll make up for all my mistakes with Ali" I said slowly. I got up to get up from my seat but Mayang stopped my steps.

"Wait, Bang."

"What's up, Mayang?"

"Patience until I am finished with the man who had to marry me. After that we will get married, Bang," Mayang said in a soft voice.

"I will be patient until that time comes, Mayang," I said, my eyes still continue to stare at the bead of Mayang's eyes that look more beautiful, for some reason after he sued for divorce I he looked so beautiful.

I stepped out of the restaurant, leaving Mayang who was still sculpting, I continue to endure the pain in my intimate part so that Mayang does not doubt that I can still make himself satisfied with the service I give later.

Ah, maybe I expect too much if Mayang still wants to kugauli, but do not rule out the possibility if he still wants to make love to me. There is no harm in preparing mentally before war.

.

.

.

The messy debris will be stacked and rearranged like knitting a tangled thread.

The cracked heart he will fix as best as possible to look whole again.