A Handful of Love for You
28. Meet Again

Alena POV's

Today is the day of guidance with the gondrong nyebelin. This was our first meeting after I was sick for three days and didn't see each other for five days. I'm confused as to what to do if we meet later. If there had been no incident of him helping out and staying overnight in my unit, perhaps my attitude towards him would not have been this ugly.

Tok.dok…

“Log.” I'm ready to meet him. I breathed a lot of air so that oxygen filled the space in my body. I am very aware if the human brain lack of oxygen can be fatal let alone have to deal with human model gondrong nyebelin.

According to health articles I read, lack of oxygen in the brain can result in temporary memory loss, reduced ability to move body parts, difficulty focusing on the surrounding conditions, and difficulty distinguishing between good and bad, which is the best, including when acting, moving, or speaking.

The characteristics of oxygen deprivation were exactly the same as the conditions if I met him. When I talk to him, I often have trouble moving parts of my body and distinguishing between good and bad. I did not mean to reproach him but this mouth was unwilling to obey my orders.  When I cross paths with him in the street or hallway of a building, the brain instructs me to keep walking but the legs seem difficult to move.

So I decided to breathe a lot of clean air before I met him.

“Assalamu’alaikum, Ms. Alena,” said.

“Wa’alaikumsalam. please sit.”.

Duh, I dare not look at his face because suddenly my heart work became abnormal. To cover up the nervousness, I pretended to concern myself with cleaning up the books and files that were on the table.

“How are you, Mother? Already healthy?” tanyakanya.

Of course I'm healthy. If I'm still sick, I might be here and give you the same thesis guidance. Weird human base, full of stale bases. I cursed in my heart.

“Aalhamdulillah's. I'm healthy,” answered I try to be polite. It is impossible if I spout the curse that I cried out in my heart.

“Thank God that you are healthy. Today, I want to discuss three chapters at once, chapters 3 through 5. Can, Bu?” ask him at will.

Cih, he thinks he is who the hell, can manage at will. If I don't remember him helping me yesterday, I'd like to stick him with a thick book on the table.

“You have discussed with Prof. Dinn?” ask me as patient as possible. Ah, maybe this heart beat happens because of an upset feeling not because of another taste. I was secretly grateful to know my frustration with her, not the likes but the resentments. Aye, right?

“Already, Mom. Profs. Dinn has acc everything. Stay discussing with Mom.”

“If he has acc, yes I will also acc. Only you trial list,” I replied a little ketus.

“It's like that, Mom. But I need Mom's autograph. But,..”

“But what?”

“Hmmm...Mother don't get mad so dong, Mom. Kan Mommy just recovered from the pain of the already angry period only.”

“Who is angry?” reply fierce.

“If you are angry, Mom looks more beautiful and adorable.”

“What...!!!” I was surprised by his bold statement. I felt the heat on my face and reflexively raised the thick book on the table and threw it straight at him.

But he caught the book I threw with his right hand.

After saving the book I threw back on the table. He looked at me sharply.

“Do not throw things carelessly. Appreciate this book. I am a lecturer, should better understand how to treat books,” his gaze as if piercing to my eyes.

“Who is insolent? Which of my words do you think is insolent?”

“You said that - ”

“I said Mom looks prettier when she's angry. Which words do you think are insolent?” ask her while smiling which looks annoying.

“Already. Don't talk about it anymore. Where is your thesis?” manya irritated.

He submitted the draft script and as soon as I received the draft script, I affixed my signature on the confirmation sheet.

“I signed it. Please face again, prof. Dinn to get his signature.” I handed back the draft of the script without noticing his face. I'm afraid I'll get back to emotions if I see her annoying face

“Mother doesn't want to check first?” his relaxed tanya makes me more fun.

“No need,” I replied briefly.

“As a supervising lecturer, Mother is not responsible.” His words managed to provoke me.

“So, what do you want?” my snapping.

“Do not get angry, Bu.”

“You're looking for something. You're the one who made me angry," I snapped.

“Iya, sorry. Do not be angry, later Mother's vertigo relapses.”

“Iya, if I get sick again it's because of you.”

“If Mom is sick again, I will take care of Mom again.”

It felt like cursing but I held back my emotions by sighing deeply.

“I have signed the confirmation sheet, please leave this room. There is nothing more I will tell you. Congratulations on your success in completing the thesis. May you succeed and succeed in the trial.”

I got up from the chair, stood straight while looking straight at his eyes. There was a great tremor and rumble in my chest until it felt a little stifling. I'm sure the emotions I've been holding back from now on have been so stifling. My heart beats unbecoming.

He got up from his chair and stared intently at me.

“Thank you. Forgive me if during the guidance, I was troublesome and made Mom uncomfortable with all my actions that might be less pleasing. Assalamu’alaikum.”

“Wa’alaikumsalam.”

After saying her thanks and apology, she immediately turned around and walked out of my room. I was still staring at the closed door. I sat back with all sorts of feelings I could not understand. Suddenly my tears trickled down, drop after drop of tears turned into a rushing stream. I really don't understand why I'm crying. I feel my chest getting tighter.

Why I'm crying. What causes me to cry. Am I crying to vent my emotions that I've been holding back from before or for some other reason? Ah, I don't understand myself like this. I feel like I'm the weakest woman in the world when I face her.

Right. It seems like I was so emotional that it made my chest become tight. Usually to vent emotions, I would go to the gym and hit the samsak that was there to the fullest. But this time, I let go of my emotions by crying. Although this is not my habit, I feel it is natural to cry at times to vent emotions. So it's okay if I cry, right?

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to be continued....