Are You My Brother ?
Nonstalgias
It was October 10th, on the day of my birth. A human named Candra is 18 years old. Yeah, that's my name. Someone who always lives in hatred and suffering.
In front of a simple house, I stood. As if remembering something, the past. That house was my childhood home. Every part - part of it stored memories - beautiful memories that always make me want to shed tears. But now he is rarely touched by many humans. Even so, the building was still quite well-preserved and there was not the slightest trace of armature in sight.
" Maybe this house is my real home" I said in front of the house.
The clattering of my feet rhymed with the grass that I stepped on, I walked into my palace. It's still the same as it used to be, that's a proper word to describe my childhood home. In the corner there is a room that is not too big. A room that used to be a ring between me and my brother. Yes, I used to fight in that room with my brother, but every fight that happened always ended with laughter.
I walked there, somehow this fragile heart always wanted to shed tears every time I saw things related to my past.
" Cklekk." The sound of the door is too old. I was surprised when I just opened the door. How not, the past is the past. A memory that can never be forgotten. The room was so clean, understandably every day my maid always cleaned the house.
Unbeknownst to me, there came a middle-aged man who entered my room. He is Mr. Anto, my maid, who cleans the house every day.
" Loh, Den, how are you here ?." Ask me. That is the call from Mr. Anto to me, actually I do not want to be called that either.
" Eh sir, please my family don't know if I'm here" I asked Anto.
" But Den, pity his mother and father Den" he said.
" Please sir, don't tell me yes" I said, hoping Mr. Anto would grant my request.
" Hufff, well Den, you won't tell Den's family if Den's here. And if you need something, just say it with your father," said Mr. Anto.
" Thank you sir, thank you" I said, kissing her hand.
" Yes Den is the same" he said, releasing my kiss into his hand and then leaving my room.
Mr. Anto is already so close to me. His role in my life is not only limited to being a maid/gardener. But he was a surrogate of my parents who were always busy with his work.
My hand was moved to take the framed photograph from the sharp snare of the nail that struck. And without me noticing my tears breaking. How not, seeing something beautiful and has not been seen for a long time is really very moving. Although my hatred for them has reached its peak, but that longing still defeats everything.
" This photo......" I said taking the framed photo while shedding tears.
I gently rubbed the glass that protected the photo, it seems that the glass has been stuck with a lot of dust and cobwebs. The little guy in the picture is smiling. That's what I used to be, the self that always smiled even though it had felt a lot of suffering. But now, that joy seemed to disappear from my world.
I sat on a bed that was worn out enough, a mattress that used to be a wrestling mat for me and my brother. The mattress also holds memories where my tears had been shed on the mattress which was caused by my defeat wrestling with my brother at that time. It used to be just one thing I believed, every drop of sweat, every tear drop that ran through the mattress would become an unforgettable memory later on. And that trust is real.
" Heh, brother. I used to think that everything you did to me was a form of venting your hatred for me. But I realized, every punch, kick and snatch is a lesson you gave me so that I know the true meaning of strength" I said, looking at the photo with a small smile.
" But......... Why when I realized that you turned sis. As if you were a human being I had never known before. You're so indifferent to me, is this because of your greatness. You're flattered by a lot of people. Admired and appreciated by many. Even our family always compares me to you. Are you ashamed to have such a lousy sister like me, sis," I said in angry and sad tones.
I cried, only me and the creator knew. Reflecting on the beauty of the past replaced by the gloom of the present. Then what about my future, if in the present it is already this bleak.
Still looking at the framed photo, as if all the events that had happened in the past could I remember. My funny face made me think back to my past. A portrait of a large family that was a long time ago.13 years ago we had gathered like that. My grandfather is still there and now he has a memory. He died a few years ago leaving us with deep sorrow.
Flashbacks
" Don't cry Candra, you're a man. So it must be strong" said my grandfather when I was crying first.
My grandfather was very fond of me, even arguably the feeling of regret more than my parents. Even when she was old and fragile, she still wanted to take care of me even though she couldn't even take care of herself. I am always reminded of the magic words that can make me rise from the slump. But just then, on Friday, he finally breathed his last. And one of the words I always remember from my grandfather is....
" You don't have to be great, son, you just have to be someone valuable to other people's lives."
Those are the eternal words I've always remembered in my life. But even so the words can only be a memory without being a guideline. Since the other human mindsets were different from my grandfather's, they only saw greatness, power, wealth or anything else. Without seeing how valuable someone is in their life.