Are You My Brother ?
Heart Destruction
That day, the day that I'll do proof. A proof that I can be better than my brother. Various efforts and prayers have been made so that I can get the highest score in the national exam. In my mind only one, I should be able to defeat my brother. Or at least I should be able to match him. My ambition to be better than him is really big. I don't want the same thing to happen again, even though it's already happened. But I don't want to make things worse.
The exam was really hard. Fortunately, before that, I had prepared myself to face it. I have studied with my best friend Virgo, who is known as the smartest student in the class. He's still one level above me. But in that national test, before defeating my brother, I had to first defeat Virgo.
" Wahh crazy, it's very difficult for the national exam this year," complained Indra who is different class the same as me, but when the national exam we were in the same class.
" Yes, it's hard, bro" said Andre, my classmate.
" Your father, the exam is easy to say difficult" said Karin, the sweet girl who is also my classmate.
" You people, don't complain and don't boast !" My new voice opened my mouth.
" Ha ha ha, you are Ndra, too" Andre said with his head bowed.
" It's me" said Indra.
" Candra woy is not Indra," Bentak Andre faced Indra's face which was then followed by a joyous laugh.
Maybe Indra and I have been enemies, even fought. But an enemy will not forever be an enemy, he can be a friend, even a friend. There is no such thing as an eternal enemy, but there is such a thing as a true friend. And back then, the only bond I could still trust was the bond of friendship. Because in that bond none of them bring up or compare - compare me with my brother, even though they already know about the position of brother.
The day of graduation came, when it was a result of our efforts to be announced. I hope to be ranked number one in Bandung, which means I can match my brother. Or if I could, my grade could be higher than his. So that later, people who know that, can really know about me. But my hope was destroyed, when the headmaster announced that I was only ranked 5th in the city of Bandung and ranked one in school, this time I was one level above Virgo. Actually it was a pretty good achievement, but nevertheless my ambition to defeat big brother has not been achieved. In that chair I also saw my mother's slightly moody face. Is he disappointed in my achievements ?. But that was good enough. Even my grade was almost the same as my brother's value at that time, only a few numbers different.
" Good grades, but still lost to your brother" said my father when he saw my grade data.
But that's not how much, the pain of my heart continued until I was really sure I wanted to leave the house. At that time on Sunday, 2 friends of my Elementary School who were as complex as I came to my house. 2 men who used to always accompany me when I was bullied, the wounded and reviled were named Yanto and Ferdi.
" Are you guys, there's a need for Candra ?" Ask my mom with a warm smile.
" No aunt, we have the same needs, Brother Iqbal," replied Ferdi.
I don't know what feelings came to my mind at that time, they were my friends, but the need was even my brother. From there I thought that my brother had taken everything away from me. All the ties I had were taken away. When the 2 best friends came in and passed me, they just smiled without saying hello. In the past, we were often joking, ridiculing - mocking and many more things - things we did together.
Very upset, seeing my friends who seemed - if they did not think I existed anymore. Again - again the pain was coupled with the words of my mother when my two friends were home.
" Candra, it's not your friends, but Iqbal's shrill, not you ?" Ask my mother. The question made me even more angry and angry.
" No need to be that ma'am, and no need to appeal - bandingin want me with my sister again," I said in a high tone as I went up to the 2nd floor and entered the room.
So what did my mother do ?. I hope he comes after me and apologizes for the question. But he was like a man who didn't care about me. I realized that the only bond I trusted could accompany me when I was fragile was gone. My brother took everything from me. It hurts so bad.
I went berserk in the room, everything I had kicked and I hit. The noise was clearly heard. But it's the same, nobody cares, nobody counsels me. If grandfather were still around, he would care about me. At that time, the only person who could understand my feelings in the house was Mr. Anto, a gardener I loved so much.
That night, I stared at the silent black sky. Without stars - stars. But I saw the moon alone up there. Where will the moon go when there are no stars ?. That was my question at the time. Perhaps the answer is, the moon will continue to search wherever the star is, so that it can still shine illuminating the dark earth. Just like me, I will also find where all my dreams, dreams and ideals can be achieved, so that the life I live can be more shining. Maybe the path I'm going to choose is right. That is to leave the house to calm myself and also to pursue all my thoughts and thoughts. Then I'll come back with a million proofs that I'm not a person to be underestimated. But unfortunately it was just my expectation, not a reality that would really exist.