Are You My Brother ?
Time - Beautiful Time
The most beautiful thing in my life is when my dear brother, I admire but also I fear suddenly becoming very good with me. But even so does not mean we never fight again. In fact, it was the beginning of a long history of my fight with my brother. As powerful and powerful as I am still, I will never be able to defeat my brother. One fight I can't forget my whole life was when my brother hit me on the head really hard.
I cry, crying doesn't mean crying. But it's because of a hard blow from an older brother who's like a professional boxer. And that bed in my room was a witness to my crying. Even my tears are dripping down. The pain in my head really hurt. I could barely hold on and felt like I was about to faint.
" Candra, you're okay, right ?" Ask my sister to worry about my situation.
In my heart I said, "It's okay, it's okay, it hurts." The blow was very hard. So that it can make me helpless, even tears. That hard blow was the one that could most severely injure me from the many blows my brother had dealt.
" I'm sorry, hahahahaha," she laughed.
My crying was accompanied by a laugh. I can't believe that behind my brother's assertive and courageous nature, there's a stupid nature running through his bloodstream. When the tears had subsided and turned into small droplets that were still wetting the mattress, my brother also did a small therapy by massaging my head. No one knew about it, no one knew about my crying. Except for me and my brother, and certainly the creator.
Days pass, where every second, minute and hour of every day contains an unforgettable meaning. From there I began to understand the beauty of life. I always thought life was an illusion. A painful illusion, full of suffering and pain. But I already understand the meaning of life. About being with loved ones. About the love of the deepest heart. The pain and suffering I used to feel seemed to be over.
That morning.... On a Sunday......
" Sister, do you hate me ?" Much
" I mean ?" Ask back while standing from the terrace of the house.
" I don't know, brother, but my heart and mind feel that you hate me" I replied.
" Candra, it's not you I hate, it's your old nature. A very sad weak nature......"
" Candra, remember, you can never take care of you forever. Someday we will be separated by distance and time, which is why, before that happens, you want to see you become a strong man, who can exceed your brother," he said with a smile.
" Heh, don't be pessimistic. Just be sure that one day you can surpass brother," said my brother reassured.
" I'm waiting for that to happen, my sister," he added as he walked away with an unusual smile.
I feel like I failed at being a good sister. My brother, the protector and guide, although he guided me in a much different way, I considered him the man who hated me the most. A hater who has no mercy for his own brother. But it turns out he was a good brother and great. An older brother who does not want his sister to give up on the rigors of the world.
That afternoon, I sat in the living room with my grandfather, but not with my brother. I don't know where he went, he hasn't come back from noon yet. The old man invited me to talk about all the things that could be discussed. Sometimes it is also interspersed with laughter.
" Cake, why am I, why am I weak. Even though my brother has admitted me, but I feel that I am still weak. The fact is that I always lose to my brother" I said.
" Candra, the real power is not from your physical body, but it comes from your heart" replied the grandfather.
" From the heart ? What does cake mean ?" Many confusion.
Grandpa didn't answer anything, he just smiled at me. Signaling he didn't want to tell. Maybe he wanted me to know it myself. Until he answered
" Some day, you will understand" he replied, again interspersed with a smile.
At my young age, it was clear that every precious word would always be in my mind. Though the words have rotted away because the times are about to change. Because I believe, it might change my mindset later. In the future, times may be many difficulties, sufferings or pains. Messages strung together in beautiful words by loved ones may be a way to make someone remember them forever.
Because life is hard, and every time I want to give up, maybe those words can resurrect me again. Like the words of the older brother when I was a child, which can finally make my mindset change. And I realized that one thing, sometimes a scorn, a scorn, a scatter, a bluff or something else does not always make the heart fragile. It depends on someone to react to it. It could be that such a thing will be used as an excuse for someone to be more and more beyond the person who has spoken those hurtful words.
I slowly remembered my grandfather's words. What does true power mean is from the heart. What might it be a kindness or an unyielding determination. If that means I'm not strong either. Since I still give up so often, I haven't done so much good either. But I still have plenty of time to fix it. Before the more painful things, before the coming of many new sufferings, I must become strong first so that I can face them all. Now is the time when a determination of fire or determination to never give up I always come up, unlike before - before which only appears in certain moments. Even to the point that, I also carry a promise to myself, if I fail to bring up that unyielding determination and if I fail to spread kindness to others, then I deserve to be called a loser.