Are You My Brother ?
Events In The Past
The loud thumping of the past moved my heart to remember in detail every event that ever happened.
Flashbacks
" Silver......" Absent my Kindergarten teacher. I just kept quiet without answering the call.
" Hahahahaha mute, mute, mute," Ejek friends - friends of TK at that time.
" Already - it's all quiet !" My kindergarten teacher said soothingly.
It's true, long ago, in my childhood. I am a timid, shy man, I have many shortcomings.
Such events happen over and over again, even almost every day. About why I used to be so pathetic, I don't know either. That nature presents itself. And that trait continued until I had a new education, which was the SD level.
At that time, class 1 SD. With my weak nature that I was always bullied by my friends. Always told, always hurt and never appreciated. In the end, my brother became the hero of my life.
" False you" my brother snapped as I cried at school. It just so happened that my brother and I were in school. The difference in age of only 3 years is what allows us to go to school in one school.
Hearing that I could only be quiet. An older brother that I admired so much even snapped at me when I was at my lowest. At that time all I thought about was whether my brother hated me. But the loud snapping slowly dissipated as the older brother stroked my hair lovingly.
" Candra, your fear is your greatest weakness. And if you take away your fear then your weakness will disappear, too" said my brother as he stroked my hair.
Those tears from my lame and weak self subsided a little. From that day on, the hidden power within me appeared. It was a determination and courage that my brother might have passed on to me. Maybe also through words - he said that he left everything to me.
My tears kept coming as I remembered every fight that happened between me and my brother. I don't know why, as if all the memories that existed in my past were filled only by my brother. At that time, the weak one was grimacing in pain from being hit by a great blow from the older brother. It's hard, like a professional boxer's punch. In fact, not only his punch was hard, the kick he launched towards my leg to make me fall was very painful. When it comes to age, he is only 16 and I am only 13. Again I thought, is this an outlet of his hatred for me. For whatever reason, the fight was like a real fight. I just think of it as a play.
That flat-face sharpener was like a cold-blooded killer. His hatred was increasingly seen with the accompaniment of a clash - a loud clash that bluffs to the heart. Not caring about his little brother who grimaced in pain, he snapped like a missile that hit the ground. A foolish and weak man only thought that he was not a good brother. Where there might be a brother who could hurt his sister to the extent. Until again - again the beautiful words of the brother were spoken gently. Not knowing why, every magic word that appeared, my hatred and anger could subside.
" Candra, sister just wants you to be strong. Then be strong, and one day prove that you can defeat brother," said my brother in a loud but soft voice while leaving me who still fell down while grimacing in pain.
I was helpless, somehow explaining how miserable I was then. At such a time, a protective human and a substitute for my parents came. He is a maid/garden who is very meritorious in my life.
" Geez Den, why are you ?" Ask me.
" Fall sir," I answered lying.
" Oh my God, how could it fall anyway Den ?" He asked anxiously as he carried me into the room.
It was in that room that Mr. Anto told me to rest. And it was in that room that my fight with my brother continued. He is a silent witness of the story of 2 brothers who taste each other beautiful blows and kicks. A memory that will never be forgotten.
Every word that comes out of my brother's mouth is like the king's word. He once told me that, "Never call yourself a winner if you only win by cheating. And never call yourself a loser if you lose a fight". Consciously or not I always remember every important word that is said from the mouths of people I love.
I wanted, longed to, to feel how to have a determination of fire and courage like my brother. But I'm just a weak human being who can't do anything. Sometimes I also think why God has to create a weak man like me, who lives only to be hurt.
Maybe the lack of affection from my parents frustrated me with life. They are busy with their work. If I could choose, I wouldn't have to be rich. What matters is that they are here with me. Why have a lot of property, why all needs can be fulfilled if togetherness with the family is lost in busyness.
At that time I thought, maybe someday a house full of memories will really be a complete memory. Because I believe that later when money has spoken, even memories will be left behind. Maybe life is like a real illusion. There is no way out of it except death.
" How are you doing ?" Asked my brother with a very flat expression.
" Does sister still care about me ?" Means back.
My brother kept quiet and didn't answer my question and left me. He saw his handsome and cool body when I looked at him from behind. Sayup - his body cover has been lost unseen by me because it was blocked by the door.
About that pain, all I fear is one. Not about the taste. But what answer should I say when asked by my grandfather. If my mother's father did I believe I wouldn't ask that. Because their working hours are so crowded may be a little forgotten with their children. On the one hand I want to lie but on the other hand I am afraid of sinning. But I finally decided to lie, because maybe lying for good is okay.