Are You My Brother ?
Lowest Point

That day, the day the announcement of graduation for High School. My brother, he managed to achieve the highest score in Bandung. Understandably, he is a genius, a man who has intelligence above average. Many people flattered him. All praise was given to him, until envy arose in my heart.

A few weeks later came the announcement of graduation for Junior High School. But baby, I can't beat or match my brother. Even for one school alone, I was still ranked 5th. No one adores me, no one praises me. Even the scorn, scorn and humiliation that I get.

" Candra, what is this, you are already in school, but the results are even gini. Look at your brother, he's ranked first in the city, lha you can't even go to school" said my father in a high tone while putting down, not putting down, but slammed the sheet of paper containing my worth on the table. Then he left.

Upset, angry, sad, disappointed, all gathered together. I don't know how to describe my mood. It was as if I was at the lowest point of my life. A very heartbreaking situation in my life, and worse yet the inspiration and the giver of spirit has passed away. I'm alone, waiting for a new hero. And the real new hero is myself.

" If I can't beat you, at least I can match you, brother," I said in the room.

It is also true, when a person is at the lowest point in his life, all that can end is oneself. Maybe even though Grandpa's alive, I'm not sure he can end it.

Since then, I really do not feel at home, always scolded and compared to my brother. I wanted to get out of that house, but I realized that I couldn't live alone. I don't want to, I don't like that I have to live my life in that hell.

" Silver....." Call brother.

" What do you want, brother, to insult me, as did father and mother ?" I asked who was still emotionally stirred.

" Basically lousy, a man abstained from shedding his tears. If it's just a matter of being scolded, it's a natural thing, Candra," snapped my brother.

Slowly, I got off the bed and walked towards my brother who was standing at the door.

" Did you ever feel the right thing - really not want you to feel ?" I said right in front of my sister's face.

He was silent, not knowing what the genius was thinking. It's not usual for my brother to be quiet like that, is there anything he's planning ?. But no, maybe he can't answer my question. Since there was no answer from him, I walked out of the room, down and towards the terrace. Maybe there my heart can be more peaceful by looking at the beautiful and fragrant flower strands.

A cold breeze accompanied my loneliness. Wrapped my limp beautiful hair until it fluttered like a flag. The place contained hell, but its beauty was heaven. I try to think, think how to change the mindset that has been frustrated with life. Not knowing why, I always wanted to be away from the crowd, but I was always terrified in loneliness. It turns out that life is complicated, only strong people can live it to the end by always smiling.

" Den, why ? How sad is that ?" Ask Mr. Anto.

" It's okay sir" I replied.

" It's not about the value, sir, but about me that sucks in everything" I said in a sad tone.

" It's easy Den, Den Candra just has to change all that," advised Mr. Anto.

" Anyway, changing what has happened is very difficult sir" I replied.

" You know, too, but if Den Candra doesn't try to change it, Den just doesn't want to get out of the hell of the world. Believe me Den, when someone is always considered weak and bad then during that time there will also be no one who will care about his words," said Mr. Anto at length.

" Hmmm" I muttered with a smile.

" It's true, too, sir. But sir, call Candra. There's no Den," I asked.

" But Den....."

" Suutttt.... Candra, "Cut me.

" Yes Den" he answered.

" Ento Sir...... Candra, sir, don't wear Den" I asked.

Yes, Candra," he said, finally calling me without the word "Den".

That was the first time I asked my /gardener's maid to call me by my usual name, with no visible word that my rank was higher than her. Because I have considered Mr. Anto as my own father, without replacing my father as a parent. And is it proper for a child to be called so by his parents ?. Yes definitely not, which is why I asked Mr. Anto to call me by my usual name.

But Mr. Anto couldn't call me by my usual name. He insisted on calling me "Den". He said, even though I had considered him my father, and vice versa, he had also considered me as his son still in fact he was only a maid. He does not want to act arbitrarily - mena with the child of his master. And no matter how hard I tried to persuade him, it still failed.

That sad and painful day happened over and over again. My parents always scolded me and compared me to my brother just about the test scores. But it did not last long, because over time the incident could be forgotten. My father, my mother is back to what she was. They never brought up anything about my test scores.

But to me, every single thing that has happened, let alone one that has to do with the heart. That I will never forget. Like a memory in a life. I'll remember that forever, about the snaps - the snaps. About the insults, maybe I can forgive them all, but the pain will always be in my heart. And in the future, a mentally weak person might do the same to what others have done to him. In the sense of replying to pain to different people. And I don't know if I'm in it or if I can even turn that pain into affection.