Because I Don't Want to Lose
52 - Positive

Although it was as he had expected last night, the first testpack Anaya used in the morning, showed line two in the indicator section.

As if in disbelief, Anaya opened the other three testpack packs, and wore them at once. All the results are lined up on the sink table. Although there are very real and some are vague, still everything gives the result of two lines

Anaya is pregnant.

With a troubled heart, he threw all the pregnancy test kits into the trash. Then take a shower, and get back in bed. Dizziness and nausea are becoming more and more.

Sandra who had just finished making tea, approached Anaya.

"How did it go? Positive?" ask Sandra.

Anaya nodded.

"Want Ilefon Izzar to get him here?" Sandra thought it was a good idea.

Anaya. "Don't let him know."

"He should know, Nay." Sandra persuades.

"Don't you dare tell him!" anaya Gertak.

Sandra stroked Anaya's head. She was pityed by Anaya's physical condition which weakened early in her pregnancy, as when she conceived Naira first. But, at the same time he was upset because Anaya was so stiff in heart.

Inwardly, he was determined to tell Izzar. Anyhow. He just needs to find the right time.

...***...

The first day Izzar worked as a shareholder of Pak Arsyad's company was slow and annoying for him. He had to face the rejection of most of the directors and employees who did not accept him who were unknown and seemed to come from the middle of a sudden handed high authority by Mr. Arsyad beyond the position of Ridwan as heir.

Izzar tried to focus his attention even though part of his mind was left with his mother who had to stay longer in the hospital for further examination because doctors found problems in the nerves of his head.

He also thought of Anaya and Naira. He is fully aware that his current existence in the office of the company owned by Mr. Arsyad is due to the two women. From the beginning, he did it all for the sake of both of them. And now, with Anaya having released herself, she has lost her motivation. The goal no longer has meaning.

Finished doing his job that day, Izzar returned to the hospital. On the street, he remembered his mother's message about the rice team. Remembering it, made him riled up because so remember Anaya, and also disappointed.

He stopped by the bakmi restaurant, and bought his mother's order. Arriving at the hospital, he gave the food box to Resti who immediately prepared and fed to his mother.

Izzar leaned his body with his tired mind on the sofa. His mind drifted on Anaya and Naira. How much he missed that little girl. His calling to him always fosters an instinct of wanting to guard and protect him, in joy and sorrow.

Despite trying to be prevented, longing began to drip in the space of his heart.

Without realizing it, his mother showed a dissatisfied reaction with the food he brought.

The woman looked at her son. Although always hidden, he can always see the turmoil in his son. Usually, he never worried because he believed Izzar could solve his problems. But this time he felt something different.

He hoped his daughter-in-law would come alone with the food he ordered. What happened, the person did not appear, the rice team that Izzar brought was not made. The shape and taste are very much different from what he has ever tasted. The prejudice immediately appeared. Something is wrong is happening.

Just, two bribes alone, he finished his meal. After drinking, he asked Resti to leave his room for a while.

"Zar..." Her mother's tone of voice was so soft. "Here!"

Izzar stood up to approach. He sat in a chair beside his bed, facing his mother.

"Yes." Yeah."

His mother's eyes looked at him. Observing his face while simultaneously scouring the recesses of his soul. Izzar tried hard to hide his feelings. When his company is in trouble, he can still cover from his mother. He hoped this time too.

"When can you come home?" His mother deliberately switched the conversation first.

"Wait for the doctor's order" Izzar replied.

"Do you think you're tired? Why?"

"Regular about work, Ma."

"Not because of Anaya?" Mom shot.

Izzar was stunned for a moment, before shaking his head.

"Don't lie to mama, Zar." Her mother smiled shadyly. "Mama knows you're having a problem with Anaya."

"Mom knows." Izzar tried to pull over.

"Mom know. From the evidence,"

"What evidence?"

"Oh, Zar!..." Her mother shook her head inexhaustibly with the denial of her son. "Where did you buy the team rice?"

Izzar jerks. He forgot his mother was very sensitive to his tongue.

"Near here." There's no point in evading.

"Anaya where?"

The deg! The question he was afraid to ask, too.

"The team's rice wasn't Anaya's. Without you saying, my mom knew right away. And why isn't she visiting my mom here?"

Izzar.

Izzar closed his mouth. The restlessness he harbored began to explode looking for a gap to control his heart. It was hard for him to avoid his mother's question this time. He also suddenly felt very tired.

"Izzar..."

"Yes, Ma..."

"Write..."

The soft voice gave her peace, leaving room for her to complain about letting go of the burdens that were squeezing her.

His mother is his contest, half his true soul. A woman who would not betray and judge him. Whatever happens will definitely defend and not leave his side.

Breathe deeply before pouring out everything from beginning to end. Every word spoken, outlines his uneasiness. One by one, little by little, until finally his chest felt airy. Plongs.

"So, that's the story." Izzar closed his heart.

"Mama already guessed that there was something surrounding your marriage first. But, I don't know why you're ignoring it because you're comfortable seeing the three of you. "

Izzar.

"You finally really love Anaya?" ask her mother to make sure.

"Yes." Yeah." Izzar nodded and replied softly. He cannot deceive his heart.

"You want him back?"

"You know, but it seems hard because I've been missteps from the beginning."

Her mother looked at her with a sweet smile adorning her face. No blasphemy and insults. Just an understanding look.

After that, Izzar's steps were lighter felt.

Two days later, her mother was allowed to go home. Problems in the nerves of his head are not worrisome and can still be treated with medication and rest.

Izzar took care of the administration himself and drove him home. The woman recovered and was refreshed. Arriving home in the morning, in the afternoon have gone out of the house by online taxi without wanting to be accompanied by Resti.

Covered by Resti, Izzar can only shake his head. His fate may be, his life is always visited by women who are independent and strong-willed.

The tasks that Mr. Arsyad instructed made him able to forget about Anaya a little. Izzar had to carry it out carefully. There is a big finding that he will announce in two days.

On the grounds of fulfilling his sister's message, who could not return to Indonesia in the near future, to take care of their parents, Izzar chose to go home to stay at his mother's residence. He was lazy to go home by himself. Because there are no more Anaya smiles and Naira laughs there.

That night, before going to bed, my mother approached her room.

"Mama hasn't slept?"

"Not yet."

"Why? It's been tonight. Mama needs to rest."

But, his mother even sat on the edge of his bed, so inevitably Izzar also got up to sit from lying down.

"Mama just wanted to give you this."

Izzar was presented with a thin brown envelope.

Izzar. Inside was a check with the exact same amount of money that Anaya had given her in exchange for her marriage contract.

"What is this, Ma?"

"Return the money Anaya received first."

Izzar was stunned for a moment.

"Where did you get this much money?"

"Mama's mistress. Your dad left a lot of savings for my mom. The money you and Renata often give is also always mama keeps some."

"Mama keep this. I'm also collecting my own money in exchange for Anaya's money." Izzar refused his mother's gift.

"Accept, Zar! Give it back, and take your pride again. Fix your missteps with Anaya."

"But, Ma..."

"There's no but!" her mother is firm.

Izzar.

"Mama doesn't blame anyone. Mama hopes that if only you asked for help from mama to solve your problems.

"But, yes, let's just say that your decision at that time was a universal stratagem to bring you together with Anaya and Naira.

"Next month we're going to Australia to meet Renata. Your sister forced me to stay with her for a while. So, please... Fix your relationship with Anaya before mama leaves, okay?!"

Izzar. He doubted Anaya would accept the money and return. That woman can be hard to break.

...***...