Because I Don't Want to Lose
60 - Decaying the Conquest

All the words of Mr. Arsyad slightly melt Anaya's ego. He himself was aware of the hardness and stiffness of his heart. The pain of losing his loved ones, and Ridwan's manipulative treatment teach him to fortify his heart and keep his distance from being too deeply in love. Except for Naira. The boy is a part of him.

"What's Ridwan's fate?"

But, somehow she still wants to know what will happen with her ex-husband.

Mr. Arsyad frowned. "Why do you think of him again?"

"He's Naira's real father anyway." Anaya. "What shall I answer if Naira asks, if I don't know anything."

"Naira's a smart kid, she understands who's really in love with her. He wouldn't care about Ridwan. Isn't it already visible?"

Anaya admitted that. His son is more disappointed not to be able to meet with Izzar than with Ridwan.

“Some time in the future, Izzar will definitely still be busy with problems in our company. You don't have to worry.”

After convincing Anaya, Mr. Arsyad said goodbye. She rubbed Anaya's head like she was caressing her dear child. Anaya's tears were growing so brightly. He remembered his own father.

“You already have the house you dreamed of. Go home there. Don't mind Ridwan anymore. Take care of Naira for me.” Mr. Arsyad smiled.

Anaya just bit her lip staring at the old back of her former in-laws disappearing behind the door. The long breath. He was trying to figure out what he should do now. Apologizing to Izzar? Admitting mistakes?

His conscience smiled to agree, but his ego still did not admit to losing brought up the origin of money in the check he received. From where?

Door's blown. Anaya prepares to see Izzar. But, what appeared was even Mba Kemi who was followed by a middle-aged woman who immediately smiled kindly greeting him.

“Anaya!”

Anaya smiled clumsyly. Mama Izzar came over and kissed her cheek. He looks around for Izzar behind him, but only Resti, his assistant, accompanies him.

He saw the wall clock. 2025. His heart asked, is it not too late for Mama Izzar to visit him.

“Mana Izzar?”

Anaya was confused for a moment. He himself did not know where the man was. Since morning he left and has not reappeared. Being patient and asking for news is not.

“Loh! Not home from work yet? Mama's phone hapenya died from this afternoon.”

The jolly woman opened her carry-on bag. A variety of fruits and food were removed and arranged on the table. He told Mba Kemi which one to put in the refrigerator immediately.

“Why did mama bother?” Anaya felt awkward about that attention.

“Ngga something has been bothered.” Mama Izzar did not care about Anaya's objections. “Mana Naira?”

“She is the same Randi.” Anaya tried to sit down.

Mama Izzar sat down on the side seat of Anaya. Mba Kemi and Resti chose to wait outside the room. The middle-aged woman looked at him with a smile that kept on turning.

“Where is your content?”

“Good.” Anaya answered briefly. So quickly the news spread.

“When Izzar tell me I'm sick” asked Anaya.

“Evennight. But, the new mama can now look at you. A day was busy taking care of passports and visas.”

“Visa? Where to?”

“Izzar didn't tell you Renata asked you to stay with her in Brisbane?” tanyakanya.

Anaya did not answer.

“You've improved with Izzar?”

That question caught Anaya off guard. His free hand squeezed the blanket. He's fretting.

“Anaya, mom just wants to make sure you're okay. Forgive Izzar because he told me about your problems. Previously, he had never told any of his difficulties because he did not want to trouble his parents. Including his work case first. So, he has absolutely no intention of complaining about you." Mama Izzar calmed her down.

"Honestly, mama would rather have her come to her mother when she was hit by a problem that made her want to marry you. But, not one bit mama does not blame you also he.”

Mama Izzar smiled. Anaya is starting to melt.

“Despite the question, you are happy with him?”

“But he lied a lot and didn't open up to me. So, I feel utilized.” Anaya reveals her heart. The thing that's been blocking his chest all this time.

“Trust me Anaya, she has no intention of disappointing you. There must be a reason why he's not open. Maybe the time is not right, or it could be another problem if you know. Trust me Anaya, sometimes know a little is even better than know a lot," said Mama Izzar.

Anaya was embarrassed and surprised. So Izzar's check was from his mom?

"Don't assume mama's meddling in your problems. That's not what it means. Actually, the money was Izzar's money. Part of his papa and mama's legacy. Think of it as a redeemer and proof that without it, you are destined to be together. Consider your problem and the problem is just a universal strategy to unite the two of you and Naira.

Anaya's tears are growing. When Mama Izzar put Anaya's head on her chest. Cry broke. All his hubris is decimating. His real soul is fragile but his ego, which does not want to be considered weak, subdued to the tenderness of the hands and hearts that have given birth to men who sincerely love him.

After her crying subsided, Mama Izzar offered her a meal. Anaya according to when fed mushroom cream soup. Get rid of his guard by trying to enjoy all his attention. In the past, his mother always fed him when he was sick.

"Are you, Naira's little brother or sister?" ask Mama Izzar.

Anaya shrugged her shoulders.

"Izzar wants what kid?"

Anaya. Wherever he knows if Izzar wants a boy or a girl. They never talk about it. Reporting her own pregnancy has not been done.

"What time is it, why isn't he here yet?" Mama Izzar is starting to fret. "Let's see your hape! He didn't know you?"

Anaya's eyes went around looking for her phone. Since yesterday he has not held it. Mama Izzar helped look for her, and found her in a shelf desk drawer next to Anaya.

His free hand activated his screen. He realized, Izzar can not tell himself anything. The man's number is still blocked on his phone. But Mama Izzar didn't have to know that.

After unblocking it, a number of Izzar's old messages came in. But there's no message today.

Anaya called, but Izzar's number could not be reached.

"Ngga is active." Anaya held her phone. His heart wondered.

Door knocked. Anaya and her in-laws spontaneously stared at the door. Their hopes were the same, Izzar who came.

However, the ones that appear are Randi, Sarah and Naira.

Mama Izzar was delighted to meet the little boy. So is Naira. The two hugged each other and sat side by side on the sofa, telling each other stories.

Sarah, greet Anaya, ask her news and talk. The woman also found out she was pregnant. Both are happy to be able to both live and share experiences later.

"Mama!" Naira approached Anaya.

"Yes, Honey?" Anaya caressed her cheek.

"Can I stay at Oma's?"

"Let her stay at my mom's house. Later when it's in Brisbane, mama can not see Naira again for a long time." Mama Izzar interrupted from where she was sitting.

Anaya looked into the clear eyes of her expectant son pleading.

"okay!... But it has to be a good boy!"

"Ready mama!" Naira kisses Anaya's cheek.

After talking to Randi for a while, Mama Izzar came home with Naira.

After they died, Anaya called Randi.

"Where did Izzar go this morning?" ask Anaya.

"Just say there's business to be done." Randi approached. "Have you called?"

"Hape is dead."

"Maybe out batre. Or, he's at the police station taking care of Ridwan's case."

Anaya tries to believe the reason Randi stated.

"Now, don't think about it. It will come too." Randi put his worry down.

Fifteen minutes later, Randi comes home with Sarah. Izzar hasn't shown up yet.

Anaya called Izzar's number again. Many times, still not connected.

I want him to be angry. But a consciousness shrinks him. Surely this is not how nice Izzar felt when the number was blocked.

Is this karma? Or Izzar deliberately tortured him.

...***...