Cracks of Love
Shopping in Pocket

My husband betrayed his promise, he promised to make me happy, the only woman of his children, when he proposed to me. But it turns out that after 8 years of my marriage, she had so easily forgotten her promise.

This morning as usual I made breakfast for my family, drove Cia to go to school. I took Caca and Adam, when I delivered Cia. I carried Adam, holding Caca's hand with my left, Cia walked in front of me.

"Be careful Cia, just walk around," I always reminded Cia as she walked in front of me.

"Yes Mamah" replied Cia to me.

After I got to Cia's school, I went straight home. Cia is not a spoiled child, like most other children that their mothers have to wait until they finish learning. I cleaned my house and washed dirty clothes. Before I put dirty clothes in the washing machine, I always check every bag of pants or clothes, sometimes my children put their toys in pockets or pants.

I found a long piece of paper in my husband's "Shopping truck? What 5 million!" my eyes know the nominal. My husband gave nothing to me or my children. I saw the date on the receipt. The receipt on October 15 means yesterday. 

"Who is shopping for? this is a famous handbag shop in Bandung," I said in my heart, the question arises in my brain, does my husband go shopping with the woman? 

Negative thoughts began to enter my brain, as if starting to run around and then down to my heart. My husband has fallen into the hands of the old woman, given what my husband until his eyes seemed blind, obviously I was younger her age why choose the old woman. Where is their common sense? they are both married, have a spouse and children.

Do they not fear sin. I cursed the old woman in my heart. 

Flushing my eyes, a droplet of unyielding water finally came out of my eyelids. Adam's cry resuscitated the daydream in my cry.

"Honey.cep... Mamah is here. Don't cry, baby." I carried Adam to my heart so that he would calm down and go back to sleep.

💔💔💔

“Daddy...this what? who are you shopping for? why is it this much?” my question, to my husband.

“Do not interfere in my affairs, the most important thing is that I have met the needs of you and the children,” replied my husband.

“I'm your wife, I deserve to know. 5 million is not a little money. This money is half of your salary,” I said full of emotions.

“I'm the one looking for money, it's up to me, it's my money. I've given you more than enough money, so from now on don't ask questions about money" said my husband in a high tone.

“Dad, I'm willing to dress badly. Just to meet the needs of children and meet the daily. You gave 5 million to someone. Tell me who is he? so you don't remember us, your wife and your children,” my words started to get angry in the chest.

“You're quiet...” My husband wanted to slap me but Cia saw our fight and hugged me. So my husband stopped his hand.

Just this time I had a fight with my husband and was witnessed by Cia. Cia hugged me tightly. The sound of his crying I heard even though his sobs were dim by drowning his face in my arms.

Maybe Cia understands both her parents are having problems. And he deliberately shrank his crying voice for fear of his two sisters waking up.

After the fight, my husband stepped out of the house. Every time he fights with me, he'll stay away. I don't know where he went.

I hugged Cia and stroked her hair.

“Anak Mamah do not cry well, later the beauty is gone,” I said, while stroking Cia's hair.

“Devil father, why are you angry with Mamah,” said Cia, while hugging me tightly.

“Daddy is not angry with Mamah, maybe dad is tired, keep Mom chatty at home, so make dad do not like. Udah ah do not cry shame later Caca and Adam wake up and see Brother cry dicengin again, ‘Kakak Cia nangis...Kak Cia nangis.’ later so,” rayuku, to Cia.

I comforted my son by inviting him to make a cake together. I hid my sadness and anger in front of my children.

I've never told you this, do I have any friends? of course my college friends are very good, even they are very solid when one of us has a problem, my friends still help each other even though they are married. I just harbored this feeling. It's hard to feel, I swallow this alone. For me, it's a personal matter not to tell my family or friends.

Dett dett the sound of my flattened thing. I saw a message coming in.

Tina \= ["Assalamu'alaikum de, how are you?"] a quick message from Tina, my senior when I was in college.

Kaila \= ["Wa'alaikumsalam Mba. I'm kind. Mba Tina how are you?"]

Kaila \= ["Thank you they are healthy, may Mba family also be healthy well."]

I was just thinking about my friends, suddenly there was a short message on my whats app. If I could tell you, I would tell you this. But I chose to be quiet, shutting down my household matters.

💔💔💔

When my husband passed me, I was like an enemy to my husband, the difference if the enemy does not live 1 roof, this I live 1 roof with him. How bad is this heart. My days are like hell. I didn't get the caress anymore, I didn't feel her embrace anymore, I saw in her eyes only hatred when I saw her. How can I get through my days?

Allahu..is this a test or punishment for my former sins?

“Kaila...Kaila..” My husband shouted my name, I walked up to him.

“What's Dad?” my many.

“Excellent slow road, called from earlier. You deaf?” my husband started yelling and saying rudely.

“Sorry Dad, I was washing dishes, so I didn't hear Dad call me,”

“Many reasons now, clean up my clothes, tomorrow I have a task out of town,” the order.

“Kok Daddy told me suddenly? Usually 2 days before departure say the same to me. I have promised the children to go for a walk, it seems like we have not been traveling with Dad for a long time,”, I said.

“Who asked you to promise them, indeed the office has your ancestors play as well as jidat aja schedule. It's been sorting out my clothes for 1 week,” he said.

“Dad's job with bu Sukma?” my many.

"Why are you wondering? none of your business!" the answer.

My husband doesn't know that I already know about his affair with Sukma's mother. I found out that it started with my husband's office friends who told them about their behavior when they were alone. Intention to continue the master's education (S2) so that the position increases and for the welfare of our family is fulfilled it turns out that was the beginning of the boomerang of our household which now does not know what its fate is like in the future.

I still remember, smiling with pleasure when Cia was born. My husband held Cia affectionately, his eyes twinkling at Cia our first baby. But now my husband's gaze on our baby has changed. It was as if he did not want to be with his children. My son is your son too. The fruit of our love, your flesh and blood, that will pray for you if you die. Our savings will be ended later.

Today he called my name, we agreed when Cia was born not to call names. You call me mommy and I call you dad. I was choking on my own saliva when you screamed out my name. And you're yelling at me. Where is your old love for me? where's your sweet promise? asphyxiated as I thought, my heart is like you're hitting it until it's broken.

Seriate 

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Read my other novel

5 Years of marriage without love

Wrongly lambered