Cracks of Love
Hot Night I Don't Want

It's been 1 week my husband hasn't come home since he slapped me, I don't know where my husband went. Work out of town or spend the night at the pelakor house. I did not send him a short message.

Without me expecting it, my husband came home in the middle of the night. I was drawn to serve his biological desires. In my deepest heart, I am not willing to serve him on the bed. But I realize I'm still his wife because she hasn't spoken to me. It has been 1 week we did not talk to each other, and suddenly came asking for contact, obviously I was shocked. There is discomfort in my heart.

My husband who I felt since there was an actor of cold attitude, suddenly became a terrible figure. He's not like Rangga who married me first. That is so gentle, so polite and expresses words of love. But right now he is doing it roughly.

I wanted to refuse but I could not resist the force that pierced my body and smothered my mouth with his lips. I wanted to be untouched but she kept groping my sensitive parts to increase my passion. I didn't reply to his moves. It was like sleeping with a doll. The tear in my eyes just escaped, because my brain was twisting the incident of his affair when he was above me at this time. 

“Dad... enough," I crazily begged to release me.

“Didn't you like me stroking and touching loe? enjoy our hot nights at this time.”

My heart was wounded again hearing the sentence he uttered. I can't fight, my strength is useless, I can't fight it. I closed my eyes with the pain of him doing it violently.

Tomorrow morning I'll regret what I did to receive it tonight. I knew it would be a sin if I refused this relationship because he was still my husband.

💔💔💔

In the morning my husband didn't feel guilty for me, my body hurt as if it was breaking down. He just kept silent not saying a word to me or to his children.

My kids enjoyed the breakfast I made, and my husband looked good eating it. 

I longed to cry out to mourn my fate, to see my three hearts make this heart strong. After breakfast, my husband left without any conversation. I took a breath and let out a rough.

Today as usual I accompanied Cia to school. I invited Caca and Adam as well, well because at home there was no one and I did not have any relatives in Bandung. After I dropped Cia off, I didn't go straight home. I think it's free to go home now because nobody's home.

I want to forget my household problems for a moment. I invited Caca and Adam to play for a while in a park near Cia's school. 

“Mamah... I want to take the swing,” Caca's pinta to me.

“I'm also Mamah,” Adam also wants to play swings.

I pushed the swing forward and backward so that the swing swayed back and forth. Makes both my children happy and enjoy our time together at this time.

“Bu Kaila?” I looked up because someone called my name.

“Oh Bu Sinta, how are you?” I smiled at Ms. Sinta. It turned out that Bu Sinta invited her son to go to the park as well.

“Alhamdulilah well, Mother how good? Miss Kaila's face I see pale Ma'am. Kaila's mother hurts?” ask Ms. Sinta.

“Ah no Ma'am, I am fine,” I replied.

“True loh Bu, Mom looks pale once,” said bu Sinta with a serious face.

“It's okay Mom, maybe I don't wear lipstick so it looks pale,” I replied.

“Alhamdulilah Ma'am, if Mom is healthy. I understand how Mom feels now. I can only help you pray, Mom. So that Mother can get through this all,” said Bu Sinta.

I looked at Sinta's face, I tried to dare to ask her.

“Bu, may I ask about my husband when in the office?” my many.

Bu Sinta sighed and let out a long one.

“I'm afraid Mom, if Mom hears this.” said Bu Sinta.

Deg

My heart feels like it's going to fall out. I wrestled with my own thoughts before Sinta said, This is a matter not only I know but my husband's office friends know.

“Honestly it's actually heavy Mom, I told this to Mom. Why did Mr. Rangga waste a wife as beautiful as Mother who gave a sweet child. There are many couples out there who cannot have children, indeed Mr. Rangga is stupid. Sorry well Mom, I reproach Mom's husband,” said Bu Sinta.

I just smiled at Sinta's words and shook my head.

“It's okay Mom, I want to hear a story from Mom about my husband,” I took a slow breath first and exhaled subtly.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Rangga in the office has been blatant, Bu made out in front of his friends if in the office. I don't know why Mr. Rangga can change so much like that. Sometimes Mr. Rangga went into the room of Bu Sukma, I don't know what they did there. Because Mr. Rangga in the room bu Sukma long enough."

My Lord my husband did what he could not do.

"Yes ma'am, we can't talk. Because Bu Sukma is our superior as well," said Bu Sinta.

“Bu Kaila..” I was silent so much that Sinta's mom patted me on the shoulder to wake me up.

"Astagfirullah sorry Mom.Thank you Mom, already told me," I forced a smile to Ms. Sinta.

"Maybe I can only say patience to Mother, even though the word patience is useless to Mother at this time. Mother is strong well for the sake of the three Mothers, they are the ones who will hold Mom's hand tightly. Now they are still young do not feel their usefulness but later when they are older, God willing they will embrace Mother, remove the heartache that Mother feels today," said Ms. Sinta.

"God willing, barokallah Bu Sinta. The words of Ms. Sinta made my thinking more purposeful. I have to be strong for my three children. God has given them to me, they are a bountiful gift to me. Thank you Mom, for talking to me, I'm sorry because my first child's coming home is soon. I want to pick up Cia" I said.

"Sama-sama Ma'am," said Ms. Sinta.

"Assalamu'alaikum Bu Sinta," said my greeting, to Bu Sinta.

"Wa'alaikumsalam."

I stepped my foot leaving Bu Sinta who was still in the park with her son. 

Honestly my heart hurts, shocked to hear Sinta's story. That was my husband, so his shame was gone. Shame is a remnant of faith.

دَعْهُ، فَإِنَّ الْـحَيَاءَ مِنَ الإيْمَـانِ

Da'hu, fainnalhaya minal.

“Let him, for shame is part of Faith. 

HR. Bukhari 44 and Muslim no. 36.

Syifa heads to Cia's school to pick up her son. Laughter from Caca and Adam because today is cool to play in the park with the child of Sinta mom.

"Mom..." Cia screamed and ran up to me when the classroom door opened.

"How's Mom's son, his school today?" I asked Cia my son.

"Seru Mamah, Cia got a 100 Mah value from a mathematical repetition" Cia replied.

"Thank God, great sister Cia," I praised Cia.

I went home with my kids. Adam didn't want to be carried by me. She walks in with her sister Caca. I held Cia's hand. Suddenly Cia said to me.

“Mah, Bad father well same Mamah, me and the sisters. Father has changed, more dear Bu Sukma than I his son.”

I took a breath listening to Cia say that.

“Why does Big Brother talk like that?” I asked about Cia.

“Even rarely go home, play with Cia also do not want anymore. But I saw my father holding hands with Bu Sukma getting into the car. Said he was busy, dad lied Mah.”

I bent my body so that my position was level with Cia's.

“Cia no matter what happens later, you have to be a strong boy well," I hugged Cia tightly and continued our journey to return home.

Seriate.

 ***

Hi readers, not gemes? in this chapter a true story.

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5 Years of marriage without love

Wrongly lambered

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