Cry, Or Better Yet Beg
chapter 29. A Failed Desire

The smile that formed on Matthias' face faded away in an instant. When she looked at him with a cold glint in her eyes, Leyla felt her heart jump into her mouth.

“I'll go then.”

As she spoke, Leyla turned her gaze to the teacup in front of her, completely ignoring the presence of the man.

"… sorry?"

“I won't stay there anymore. I'll go and won't disturb your land.”

"Where are you going?"

“Anywhere.”

He clenched his hand which started to shiver, along with the coldness he felt. Don't be afraid– Leyla convinced herself, even though she knew it was a stupid task.

“Arvis is not the only place in this world where I can make a home for myself.”

His words did not lose their poison, spewing out thorns as sharp as the punch he spat at him. But Matthias was just cold to her, taking her grunts as a fad.

Leyla wanted to run away from her seat and get out of there as soon as possible, but what happened last summer—hari when she lost her hat and fell into a freezing river because she refused to eat what she had to offer, has appeared in her. his mind and clamped his feet firmly in place.

He doesn't want to experience that trauma again.

As she set her gaze to the teacup, Leyla immediately sipped her hot coffee. She almost choked, but Leyla managed to finish it in one gulp, until her teacup exposed her bottom. Then, he took a deep breath to calm himself down.

“Leyla.” exclaims Matthias while pointing at him.

Lelya stiffened and hurriedly took the money out of his wallet and put it on the edge of the table.

Matthias scoffed, “What is this?”

“That's money to pay for the coffee I drink.” Leyla opened her lips and tried to get her words out. His gaze remained fixed on his finger.

“Do you think I'm the type of person who needs a person like you to pay for a cup of coffee?”

“I don't know about it, but I don't want to receive anything from you.”

With that sentence, Leyla felt a chill run down her back. His trembling began again as his hands were drenched in cold sweat, and his fingers turned a pale color. However, his curiosity in the end won against him.

Because this place is not Arvis, where Leyla Lewellin used to live as a poor orphan under her world.

“Bless your head.”

“I don't want.”

“Thanks to your head, Leyla.”

“Stop ruling me.”

The growing regret made his throat choked. He stared intently at Matthias with a blazing blaze of anger in his eyes.

“I'm not your helper.”

The sudden and rash bravery had obliterated the ripples of fear that had been stirring within him for some time, heating up his response.

"Helper?"

“Obviously I was raised by Uncle Bill in Arvis, but that doesn't mean I'm your servant.”

"Is that so? Then who are you?”

“... I'm nobody.”

The corner of his eyes is slightly reddened

“I have been and always will be.”

The sharp pain burned his feelings at this moment. His emerald eyes were wet with tears as he stared intently at Matthias. But even so, he was still able to endure it and even ventured to deal with it.

Matthias just held the handle of his coffee cup speechlessly. He pondered the day he wanted to strangle Leyla Lewellin, and he wanted to do it again now.

It was scorching hot in the late afternoon in the summer; when she felt dirty like her clothes were falling apart after rolling on the ground. When he becomes ballistic over the actions of a worthless woman.

'What if I strangle you then...'

In his mind, Matthias concluded that what he was feeling back then was not as bad as what he was feeling right now. Right now, he felt like a freak. The feeling of being carried away by unexplained desires and compulsive obsession towards an unnamed woman is what disgusts her the most.

Matthias took the money he left on the table and got up from his seat. Then, he dropped them one by one onto his lap.

"Take it."

Leyla glared at him. Staring at her eyes, which turned a dead red, Matthias threw some of her gold coins at her skirt. “And this too.”

“A-what are you..”

"Thank you; that's what you have to say, Leyla.”

Matthias scoffed with a mocking tone.

“Similar to how you received Claudine's money. With gratitude. With manners.”

Leyla's eyes blurred as she chuckled, but she did not let her tears fall. He moved his lips to resist the violence, yet words slipped and came out of his tongue.

“I've taken your time, even though you're not my maid, so I'll pay you your labor costs.”

A great vibration is now upon him. Leyla gritted her teeth, but a stream of hot sadness was already flowing down her face.

“If you don't like it, just think of it as my sympathy to the poor orphan.”

Tears began to tickle his cheeks. Deep emotions churned with no way out other than through her long-lasting sobs that dripped like jewelry.

“You licked the man who wanted to marry you out of pity, yet you wanted to maintain your pride for the sake of a few coins. Very funny.”

Matthias's sneer was like an invisible thread pulling him. Leyla gallantly scowled at him, but her dissatisfaction had turned into tears that kept flowing down her cheeks like a river leaving a dam.

Matthias walked out of the cafe with a satisfied smile plastered on his face.

Leyla Lewellin was a woman who never once smiled in front of her, but she was also a woman who, whenever the man made contact with her, would cry and cry as she could.

'If I can't make you smile, then I'll make you cry.'

Laughter or tears, Matthias loved her in all her manifestations. If only he could hurt her, he would hurt her as deeply as he could.

'At least, you won't think of me as a small stain in your life.'

Before leaving the cafe, Matthias turned around and looked at his face sharply. Leyla rubbed her cheeks every few seconds while crying; her glasses were lying on the edge of the table.

Matthias made the request as his long strides slowly led him to leave the Natural History Museum.

'May Leyla marry the doctor's child immediately, and disappear from my world.'

'And may the tears and wounds that I have carved, be immortal in his memory.'

The sun had set on the threshold of the western sky, but Leyla had yet to return to her hotel.

Kyle, looking for Leyla at his hotel for dinner with her, came out of the lobby with a worried face. Although he was no longer a child, this city felt foreign to him; bad people might swarm everywhere.

“Yes, he is not afraid, but still....”.

Kyle took hesitant steps along the way. His mind was racing faster than his feet. He assumed he would be in the museum, but the museum was already closed when he arrived. Her search has taken her all over the city, but Leyla is nowhere to be seen.

'Is he lost?'

Kyle darted past people, buildings, and trees.

'If not, has he ever met a bad man?'

Kyle wanted to bury all the negative thoughts that had crossed his head; he was not even willing to consider the possibility.

That's when he found her.

Leyla stood in front of the fountain in the garden square at the end of the museum street and hesitantly threw a coin towards the fountain statue.

“Leyla!”

His eyes naturally moved towards the voice that called out his name.

“Eh, Kyle?”

"What are you doing here?"

Kyle approached her, combing the hair drenched in sweat from her forehead.

“Kyle, why are you here? How about your exam preparation?”

“Is it important at this time? You really... Seriously, you..”.

Kyle grabbed his shoulder. He took a slow breath and took it back out with a hard. Soon,*******his fearful breath became a little quiet.

"Are you okay? Do you want to sit?” Leyla asked; her eyes were fixed on her face in worry.

'Who cares who now?'

Kyle cupped his hot palm onto Leyla's face and let out a long sigh that sounded more like a sad laugh. It was then that he realized that his eyes were swollen and slightly reddened.

“Leyla, are you crying?”

"No, not me."

Leyla answered her question hurriedly as if she was at a loss for words, which made Kyle even more certain that she was crying.

"Why are you crying?"

“I didn't do it.”

“Who made you cry?”

“Nothing, not like that,” Leyla smiled and gently pushed her hand away. “I just, uh, looked around the museum. Take a walk in the park and make a request.”

"Expecting?"

"Yes. I see everyone doing it.”

Leyla pointed with her finger towards the fountain in the middle of the garden. People with bright smiles on their faces threw their coins into the fountain and uttered pleas.

“I also hope you get into medical school.”

“Are you sure you threw it accurately?”

Kyle started to chuckle while pointing to the water bowl the statue was holding. Disappointed moans of those who failed to toss their coins into the pot sounded throughout the crowd.

“Of course I made it,” Leyla said with a proud smile on her face, “I'm very good at this.”

“I know, I can already imagine it.”

“It's dinner time. Are you hungry? Let's make one more request before we go.”

Leyla headed straight for the fountain, holding a sparkling gold coin in her hand. Kyle, to his surprise, obediently stomped his heels from behind.

“Leyla! Are you serious about throwing your gold coins in there? To the fountain? A penny-pincher like you?”

In lieu of a response, Leyla tossed the coin with all her might. Unfortunately for him, the gold coin hit the edge of the bowl and bounced to the other side. He flinched and frowned, disappointment enveloping his face.

“Leyla, are you really good at this?”

“Why don't you trust me? I just managed to toss all my coins in one move!”

“How many gold coins did you throw, huh?” Kyle asked as he giggled at her inordinate actions that were completely unlike his.

"OKAY. Since I have already made a big donation to the Ratz fountain today, I will throw one more coin.”

“Are you going to throw another one? Enough's enough! Don't do that!”

Kyle snatched the coin from Leyla's grasp, letting her frown and grab Leyla's hand in annoyance. “It should be spent!”

“You might say so, but how many gold coins have you thrown there?”

“It is the value of money.”

“Is there any money that needs to be spent on something like this?”

"There!" Layla shrieks.

"Enough! Don't waste any more money. It's futile. If you want to squander money, let's go get ice cream.”

“You really look like Leyla Lewellin when you say it.”

"Anything." Kyle shrugged his shoulders and put the coin back in his pocket. "Let's go."

He knew Leyla would reject his hand, but Kyle still extended his hand to her. Leyla lightly clapped her hands and took the lead by taking small steps in front of her.

Kyle moved quickly to catch up with him

“Hey, what do you want?”

“I pray for the well-being and happiness of Uncle Bill. Then you can get into college and become a good doctor. And I want to be a good adult. That's all the hope I have for us.”

“Then what's the last?”

"Hmm?"

“Last request of your failed attempt.”

“It...”

Leyla's face suddenly became sour.

"It's a secret." He suddenly shook his head in disdain and widened his steps.

Kyle only chuckled cheerfully, his face beaming with interest.

“Let's eat something delicious, huh? I frantically ran around looking for you, and now I'm starving to death.”

Doctor Etman sighed before opening the room door.

As he turned on the light, he saw his wife already lying on the bed. He's been like this ever since Kyle and Leyla left for Ratz to take their exams.

“Honey, dinner is ready. Let's go."

“Don't mind me.”

His voice sounded ice-cold, in contrast to his lackluster appearance.

“I understand how you feel, but..”.

"NO. You weren't. Dr. A generous and kind-hearted Etman will never understand.”

His eyes were burning with anger.

“But baby, you also like Leyla, don't you?”

"Yes. I-i know. Leyla is a good girl. If it wasn't for you and Kyle, I'd continue to love it.”

“Married Kyle won't change Leyla, baby. It's just that Kyle will marry the good girl he loves so much.”

“You may think I'm arrogant, but marriage is a reality. This marriage degrades our son, and you let it happen!”

“Honey, the world will keep changing. One's social status will soon become an outdated value.”

Mrs Etman styled her long, well-draped hair into a bun and pulled it neatly before getting out of bed. She looked at her husband with an annoyed face; she did not look like someone who had been starving for days.

“In the world where humans live, social status will not disappear. Even if the title is no longer used, there are other things that will separate the social class of society in the future.”

"Darling…"

“And whatever the standard, the fact that Leyla is no match for Kyle we will never change. Ever."

Ending the conversation with those bitter words, Bu Etman walked past her husband.

Dr. Etman noticed the back of his wife who had gone towards the garden, and smiled faintly to the servant standing there looking puzzled.

“I'm sorry, Mrs. Becker's. Please clean the dining table.”

With a breath, Dr. Etman followed his wife to a dark garden at this hour”