Florianas
Chapter 15: The Owner of the Tie Who Avoided

Geck, tok, tok!

There was a knock on the door, awakening Flo who was sitting daydreaming behind her desk, looking out.

"Flo, eat first, son," Papa's voice called out.

Flo didn't say, just let it go. The same thing he did when his mother called five minutes ago. The same thing he has done since coming home. He was deaf every time his parents wanted to talk and apologized. He did not pay attention to all the invites that were called Papa and Mama. He didn't talk to anyone at home either. He completely avoided them. No kidding, he left school much earlier, had dinner alone when everyone was asleep, and went to Arina's house or locked himself in a room while at home.

This time, Flo doesn't want to hide her disappointment anymore. He's tired. He also did not know when his feelings would improve. But for now, he wants to be alone, enjoying the people at home feeling guilty to him. That's not wrong, is it?

After the sound of steps away, Flo once again stared out the window. Observing trees and shrubs of flowers swayed through the night wind for some time. Then the focus shifted to a chest-high white fence. Remembering something.

He misses.

He admitted that he missed Farrell.

Flo had not seen him for a few days since returning from Taala's home. Farrell no longer picks him up or calls him. Only occasionally did he catch a glimpse at school—from the window, when he passed in front of the boy's class; or when the flag ceremony. Besides, no meeting at all. Suddenly their contact seemed to be cut off.

He wasn't sure if it was a coincidence or Farrell was busy. Whatever the reason, the fact that Farrell has felt far away again makes him guess all the possibilities to be connected with this meeting gap. Starting from the truth of Kak Farah's speech to the presence of Arina again. Clearly, all those possibilities filled his head, making him feel bad. And its insecurity dominates.

Flo plays her index end on the surface of the jar containing the fish***** in blue. Seeing the fish made him miss Farrell even more. He really wanted to meet that guy.

"You know, I miss you." - Flo.

For a long time he just sat there. Stare at the graceful swimming fish or the invisible image on the back of his injured right hand or the emerald green bracelet on his wrist or the online status under Farrell's name on his cell phone screen.

Sometimes it comes to Flo's mind to contact Farrell first. But when he was in front of the phone he always lost his guts, questioning his reason for contacting.

In the end, Flo fell asleep in the chair. And woke up suddenly the next day because of the ringing of the cell phone alarm.

It was still six in the morning when Flo was about to leave for school. The time it takes to get to school is just a few minutes walk away.

"Fuck."

Mom's voice surprised Flo. Making his heart hammer, as if he had just met a ghost. But he did not look, continuing his steps towards the front door.

"Until when do you want to upset your Mama, Papa, and Brother?"

Flo kept walking, as if he had not heard.

"Mom's sorry, Flo. Tell Mama what can make you sorry Mama."

This time Flo stopped. He turned around, looking at his mother's miserable face from three meters away.

"I'm not angry with Papa. I'm just his stepson and Fabian his real son, obviously who he believes more in. I'm not angry with Fabian either, because I hated him and now hate him even more. I'm also not angry with Mama, but I haven't been able to let go of my disappointment. The pain of being accused of being disgusting by her own mother is a bit of a pain, Ma."

"Sorry Mama, Flo.." Mama's lyrics. He stepped forward, trying to approach Flo who was instantly retreating. So he stopped trying to get closer.

"The pain can't go away just because you feel guilty. I need time to heal that pain, ", Flo continued. His voice was calm, his eyes were haggard. "So please stop urging me to apologize Mama. And don't mention anything about Fabian in front of me."

Flo turned around, then left, disappearing behind the door she slammed quite hard. Leaving Mama who seemed to suffer more than before.

***

"Flo can you get the package book at Mom's desk, at the office?" ask Bu Asti, history teacher.

"Yes, Mom," Flo said. He also immediately left the class. Hit the deserted corridor with a lethargic face down.

As the sound of another move besides hers sounded, Flo raised her face. And at the end of the corridor he saw Farrell stepping towards him.

The pleasure just rose from inside Flo, along with the boisterous butterfly that used to tickle her stomach. Smile on the lips when the distance and Farrell is getting close. Unknowingly, he tucked his unraveling hair behind his ears. The hair he broke because Farrell liked it.

But the greeting and smile that awaited Flo never came. When he turned his head, Farrell just passed by his side as if he had seen nothing. Leaves a familiar scent that settles. And a feeling of emptiness with a million questions gnawed at him.

What the hell is it?

Does he have any fault?

He doesn't understand at all.

What happened to Farrell? Where is Farrell always smiling and greeting when we meet? Where was Farrell who was willing to follow him out of the city without even having time to ask his brother for permission? Where was Farrell who a few days ago was always on the side? Where's Farrell always understood himself?

The questions that came up made Flo feel stuck. Hot eyes. I swear, he's never felt this way before.

And those questions were answered later. When he was about to go home alone after school it was getting quieter. He sees Farrell still in his karate uniform hugging a beautiful, long-haired, wavy girl on his blue scooter, out of the parking lot. A popular girl who fits Farrell perfectly, unlike him.

So that's the answer. One answer that could silence all questions in Flo's mind. Satisfactory, yet painful answer.

"Dor!"

Flo's body shook in surprise. He turned his head, finding Genta's smiling face cheerfully.

"Why?" ask Flo, slowly.

"Lo what's the matter?" Genta asked back. "Stand up here?"

Flo shakes. "No pa-pa. I just want to go home."

"That's great," said Genta. "illness?" He touched Flo's forehead with the back of his hand.

Flo brushed off Genta's hand, softly. "No. Just tired of it."

"Go home together, yuk," Genta asked.

"Are we in line?"

"No, anyway. But I want to give you the book Arina missed."

"Where's the book? Let me give it to Arina. Than you bothered."

"No hassle, really," said Genta quickly. "Gue also has other business with Arina."

"Oh... Yes." said Flo half daydreaming.

"Let's go" Genta asked.

They walk in silence. Flo was too lazy to urge his brain to look for chat materials. Genta also doesn't seem to mind without a trial. Both are in silence. Only the wind continued to tease Flo's composure, unceasingly blowing her hair, blocking the view.

In the middle of the road, Flo's steps came to a sudden halt. For a pair of hands landed on his shoulders, holding him back to keep stepping and turning. He knew it was Genta's hand.

"Why, Ta?" ask Flo, confused.

"Shut up first. Just a minute."

Flo according. Waiting for what Genta wants to do in the middle of the sidewalk under this bright sun. He no longer asked or commented.

Then the hand on his shoulder lifted, turning to the hair. Collecting strands that have been disturbing since. He was a little surprised to find out that Genta noticed his discomfort, because Flo had just ignored him.

"What do you wear?" flo asked, touching the knot in her hair, when Genta had already returned to her side.

The clapper pointed at his own chest, where the tie should have been, but it no longer existed.

Reflex, Flo clenched a barely healed hand. Remembering the sensation when a tie once wrapped around his palm so that blood stopped dripping.

And the feeling of emptiness that he had tried to eliminate came back again.

"Thank you" Flo said in a hoarse voice.

***

Try blasphemy he used to be satisfied because suddenly lost and ignored.