FRIEND BUT MARRIED
part 1

I am grateful because I am not like that nor can my brother we care for ourselves . Because my father is far from my father who became a father figure for me to protect me and my mother. But don't know why since we lived in this palembang since shortly father separated with mother, mother became rude , ever thought about whether mom was stressed or just venting into the marahan and grudge against my dad onto us? But was mommy this cruel ? growing up with a blow from parents is common, but if it is to torture the heart, mind and mental child, I think it will be very bad for confidence and opinion for children. It is also sad if the child has to carry out what is called parent karma as a child can only accept the present situation and be patient with the problems faced and continue to attend school properly and diligently so that later being successful. Not all children experience things 'normal' as experienced by other children. Have a mother and father who always fuss at home, even to the point of deciding to divorce. I think they don't care how you feel. I love them both, and I can't choose between them. Others try to sow themselves by saying that time will make you forget everything. In fact, the bitter feelings continue to haunt... In front of other people, I kept smiling and acting like nothing happened. In fact, my heart has been broken into pieces.I am more closed and not easily close to others, because I understand what it feels like to be hurt.I am afraid that others will disappoint or betray me. So, I really choose people who will be made friends.I also tend to always be alone without the intention of making friends.I also so can not express well, I also can not express myself, because I always hold back the sadness itself.I also cannot express myself properly, because I always hold the sadness itself. But no one understands my suffering. Even my own two parents, I have no one else you can trust and no one to exchange stories with. My life is full of emptiness and there is no happy expression in it.Sometimes, I am so scared that I am even lazy to go home. For me, home is not a place to calm down. Home is a place of torture, because it has become a fighting arena between my parents. A match I never wanted to see. Subconsciously, I blamed myself for what had happened. Sometimes, I feel like my parents are making a fuss over my presence.I used to think that this was all my fault, and I shouldn't have been born in this world. Remember, the thought is wrong! I was the greatest gift to both of my parents. If there was no me and my brother, maybe things would get worse.I am the hero.I understand what it feels like to be sick and I am the best medicine for my friends who are facing a problem. I became very sensitive and understood the feelings of others. When my friend is in trouble, I am the one who understands the situation the most. As a child of a whole family, of course you will never be able to understand what it feels like. I never complained about being born into a broken home. Because I know, my mom never even wanted it.

I am proud of my mother. She is a tough woman, she can play her role so well as a single parent. My greatest fear was born in the midst of a broken family when I was growing up. Someone told me that his family did not approve of the relationship between his brother and his girlfriend because the boyfriend's parents divorced. Duh wrestling! This is what made me realize, that I seemed to live in a society that could not accept divorce. If they knew, no one would want their home to end in divorce. There ain't! Especially the child. A child can never, never even a chance, to be able to choose in what kind of family he will be born.

I thought I would be able to live a normal life like normal children in general, who have complete parents, in the midst of a harmonious family. Turns out I was wrong. I was born not so lucky. There is (maybe) hope always. But what if I had even been so tired of just wishing?!

father, if you understand the case of your son, you will understand why my world is always isolated.. In my millions of steps, I never stood in despair and never hung my neck in knots... I just walk to reach a million hopes and dreams'my dreams at the end there although sometimes paralysis.n this must trus walk even without a cane and crawl in pain.. but I'm sure I'll win and be happy on the ground where I last stand by raising a victory flag.