I Finally Surrender.
Like the fruit of simalakama.

A few months later the sick mother kept me thinking, on the one hand I wanted to be devoted to the mother who had given birth to me, on the other hand I must also be devoted to the man who has given me a son.

My position at that time was like a fruit simalakama, I became completely wrong, even so almost every day I visit my mother.

True said people, in the eyes of the daughter-in-law is always wrong.When I visit my mother, my mother-in-law always think if I only spend her son's money for the needs of my family, for example, while in reality it was my father who always helped because he could not bear to see me in trouble.

Not infrequently I became the topic of my mother-in-law's conversation with the neighbors around, at first I tried to be indifferent even impressed to care for my ears so that my heart is not tired.not once I became the monthly month of my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law, whatever happens in my household, I must have been blamed without asking the truth.

Just like that night when I was sick my mother-in-law came, I thought she would come to see me, because my stomach acid was rising, probably because of too many thoughts due to the pressure after pressure I was under.

It turned out that my guess was wrong, my mother-in-law even asked my husband to come with her without caring about my condition at that time.maybe because my husband did not have the heart so he refused his mother's invitation. until my mother-in-law decided to take my son with me to her house.not wanting to argue because my current condition is limp, I also allowed my mother-in-law to bring her granddaughter.

But when the time showed at two o'clock in the morning my husband's phone rang, it turned out my mother-in-law called. From her tone I could hear if the mother of my husband was babbling, even though I can't clearly hear what I'm saying.

"Well ma'am I'll be there soon." replied my husband by phone, before turning off his phone.

"Since Farhan didn't want to sleep, he kept crying, so my mother called." My husband's words immediately kept me thinking about my son. that's how a sick mother will not feel anymore when she hears the state of her son is not fine.

"Let's go to my mother's house now, I'm afraid Farhan's stomach could hurt if he kept crying" I said, thinking of my son.

Because the distance we stayed was about half a kilometer to my in-laws' house so it took almost twenty minutes to get there, because we were just walking. at that time our lives were far from enough, but I sincerely accepted the fate that had been required for me.

Maybe annoyed waiting twenty minutes for my mother-in-law sounded blabbering unclear when we had just arrived at the yard of the house.I rushed to knock on the door, too, when the door opened, I immediately grabbed my son's body.

My son was rarely separated from me, let alone having to sleep apart from me. Maybe that was what caused my son to keep crying since then, maybe now his stomach hurts from crying so much that it makes it difficult to stop crying even though I have tried to silence my son.

Because I continued to see my son crying, I became confused myself, while my mother-in-law instead of helping to silence her crying granddaughter, she blabbed indistinctly. as usual he again compared me to the daughter-in-law next door.

I could only stroke my chest, hoping that the pain there would lessen a little. That night I felt the longest night for me in my entire life having to stay at home that never considered my presence.

While my husband should not defend me a little in front of his mother, he blamed me. Of all, only my father-in-law and one of my sisters-in-law cared a little for me, but when he defended me, he was the target of his own mother's babble.

But now my brother-in-law has first faced the khalik, because of the pain he suffered.

Until the morning I could not close my eyes for even a second, every spicy sentence that my mother-in-law uttered was still ringing clearly in my ears.

At about half-eight I woke my husband up to take me home, to be honest I could not bear to linger in that house, where almost all the residents did not like me.

With a heavy heart because he was still feeling drowsiness finally my husband drove me back to our boarding house, and after he left us, he immediately returned to his parents' house with various reasons.

In the depths of my heart I sometimes think that if my husband may no longer love me, how not, whenever his mother berates me he doesn't even care. even though he himself knew both my parents never even said that harshly to me.

Whenever my heart was sad when I remembered all the spicy words of my mother-in-law, I could only shed tears, only the god to which I complained. I also never complained about all their abusive treatment to my parents, because I did not want to add to the burden of my parents.

Until sometimes in between tears I can only ask for a moment I can feel happiness like a woman in general, but when I wake up, I can only ask for a moment, I immediately beristighfar did not want God to consider me not sincere with the destiny that has been outlined for me.

Until one day when I came to visit my mother, I really did not have the heart to see my mother's condition getting weaker and weaker.

And at that time my mother asked me to go back home to have someone take care of her, because my youngest brother was still in school, so when he was in school there was no one to look after him when my father went to work, my two brothers are married and live in their own home.

In the afternoon I returned from my mother's house before my husband returned from work, I deliberately went home first on his appeal because I was afraid that he would be angry if he knew I was still at my mother's house. because if he is angry, not only am I the one who got a scorn from him, but my family was targeted. almost every time my husband gets angry, he will certainly include my family in it, especially my parents who do not know what.