I Finally Surrender.
Maybe God is in love.

One month later my husband forced me to move into our new home, even though the house was not too far from my parents' house but I still could not bear to leave my mother in such a condition at that time.

I still whistled loudly not to move because I did not have the heart of my mother's condition, but the husband threatened if I did not come with him no problem, but he would still take our son with him.

Again, when I was put in a difficult position to choose on the one hand, I could not leave my mother alone with my father, but on the other hand I also could not be separated from my son.

Last night I couldn't close my eyes for a second my mother and son's face changed in my mind, I really didn't expect the man who said he loved me so much now put me in this difficult position, even the first person to approve my husband asking me first was my mother.I asked in my heart if this was the man I had been living with.

When I sat alone on a bench in the front yard of the house, my father came to me, he sat next to me.

"Dad knows you are currently placed in a position that is so difficult.but if you can suggest, you should follow the wishes of your husband because no matter how he is your husband, you must be devoted to him. let me take care of your mother, because your mother is my responsibility." With tears I turned to look at my father.

"But I can't bear to leave my mother in this condition, father, I don't want to be an ungodly child who can leave her in this condition." my tears broke and my father gently stroked my back and said.

"God is almighty, he must understand why you did that, after all you have taken good care of your mother. after all your new home is not too far from your father's house, you can come every day to see your mother's condition!!." my father's words at that time made me feel very lucky to be entrusted to both parents who were so loving and understanding.

After hearing my father's advice, I decided to move in with my husband.

When I was about to move I did not even have the heart when I wanted to say goodbye to my mother, until finally my father said you do not need to say goodbye to your mother, let me tell your mother later. you better leave now, it's not good to make your husband wait!!" said my father, although it looks tough but I know that at that time my father was also sad to see me have to leave them both in the house.

It was hard for me to step on my feet, but because my husband kept calling me, I finally forced my feet to step out of the house where all this time I was raised full of love, although not a luxurious life but we do not lack the affection of parents.

When the car that my husband drove noble out of the yard of my father's house, unconsciously my tears flowed down my cheeks, I even cried to the slightest bit of joy. my husband who is now focused on driving is impressed not caring about what I feel right now.

After living in our new home, I came to see my mother almost every day, until she almost didn't realize that I was no longer living in that house, because she could no longer walk. my mother spent more time in bed, which is what made me so heavy to leave.

Since living in our new home I will always visit my mother when my husband has left for work, although I had to get scorned or something like that first but I still asked permission from my husband to visit my mother, because my father said it is not good if I leave the house without permission from my husband.

Almost every day my routine is like that, My husband went to work after taking my son to school I immediately visited my mother's house.

Until one and a half years after my mother's surgery, on that day my world seemed to collapse when my mother was taken for a long time by the creator.

I cried, not that I was not sincere when God took something that was an absolute right for him, but all the memories together with mother that made me cry.

When my mother died, from there I thought that the greatest calamity of a human being was when the mother who had given birth to him in the world passed on the lap of the creator.

Although my heart is broken but I have to keep the spirit to live my life, because there are still many responsibilities that I have to bear.

Especially since my mother died my father was also often sick, too, even almost every day the man who was my first love said that he really missed the figure of a wife who decades accompanied him in joy and sorrow.

Not finished the loss in the heart after a year and a half my mother died, my father left us for good.my father died from kidney failure in the last year.

Sometimes I feel like fate is playing tricks on my life, considering at the same time as my father died, my only son is being treated in the hospital due to dengue virus attack.

So that I was forced to ask my brother for help to take care of my father who now lives with me, in a day I can six times go back and forth to the hospital to ensure the condition of both, and both of them, because as a child I am obliged to take care of my father, as well as a mother I am also obliged to take care and care for my children.

Evidently the last time my father died he allowed me to focus on taking care of my father, while he painstakingly took care of and looked after our son.

Although my husband was often angry, but he was not a man who likes to be light-handed, proven during his wife never once he raised his hand on me.

I thought my test would end there, but it turned out that my guess was wrong. A year after my father died even my husband's attitude became more so, he sometimes did not even come home all night.

If I ask, then my husband will be angry even impressed noisily, while I who feel embarrassed if the neighbors hear our quarrel decided it is better to be quiet.

Until one day I got proof of my husband's affair, I who felt disappointed and angry was angry with his anger, even I no longer think about the words of the neighbors.

The thing that most disappointed me was when I asked my husband directly, he even avoided even seeming angry to cover up his mistakes.even before not infrequently he even accused me who was not, just to cover up his mistakes.

The peak until I decided I finally gave up, when my husband said it was better we just split up, if I still keep finding out about the woman.

Until that day I thought, it's useless for me to survive with a man who no longer loves me.

Especially because I was under the influence of emotions, my husband until unconsciously dropped a talak on me. My tears fell infinitely until my whole body felt helpless.not because I could not part from it, not because I could not part from it, but I was thinking about my son's fate when we parted.

But all such thoughts soon I tepis, there is no way God will test me beyond the limits of his servant's ability, maybe at this time God is testing me because God is in love with me.

Although not yet officially divorced, since my husband dropped my talaq I was no longer sweet as usual to him, I decided to sleep in my son's room.

Until one night my husband who asked for the right as a husband I refused, considering that night he had dropped a talaq on me.

Maybe because of burning emotions, the next morning my husband immediately filed for divorce in court, arguing as a wife I no longer meet his biological needs.

Very selfish, such is the proper word for a man who still demands his rights on a wife who has been dropped by him. But I am not at all daunted, I am ready to live life with my son. I have been trying for a long time to survive living a household heresy that does not bring peace in my life. at first my husband thought that I would beg him to annul the divorce suit he had filed with me, but my husband felt sorry to enter the divorce papers, he said, when I did nothing in accordance with his expectations.

Never mind refusing to be divorced, I didn't even make it difficult for him in court, what I had in mind when I first attended our divorce hearing was that maybe it was time I got out of my marriage bond with a man who had never taught me to go down the path of God. remembering during the marriage the husband never once imitated me in prayer.

I did not complicate the husband in the divorce process at all, even for the child's living I did not discuss at the trial.not only the judge who astonished the father of my son was astonished, too, because according to the judge, most women will definitely demand the right to the child's living from the ex-husband.

It is not that I do not want to give the opportunity for the husband to support his son, but I do not want him to provide for his son because he was forced by a court decision. what I want is the father of my son who sincerely gives a living that has become the absolute right of his son, even though we are no longer a married couple.

Up to three months later, with a gamang step I convinced my feet to step into the office of the religious court, to attend the court hearing on the divorce case that my husband served a few months ago.

After a while in the courtroom, I finally officially hold the status of widow over a man named Suhardi bin Safar, after the judge granted a divorce lawsuit filed by the man who had just officially become my ex-husband.

I officially hold the status of a widow at the age of twenty-nine years, a fairly adult age.However, even though I am not too young, but my face still looks like a dozen. not that I praise myself, but it was proven when I went to school my sister who was still in the third grade of High School, not a few who thought I was one of the students in the school. there was even a teacher who thought I was a student who deliberately came to school without wearing a school uniform, then the teacher asked me to pick up trash in the school yard.

When I admitted that I was not a student there, then the teacher apologized for his words and his orders were less pleasing, as usual I who had absolutely no vindictive nature immediately forgave the teacher before stepping in search of my sister's whereabouts in the school cafeteria.

Before I walked out of the courtroom I extended my hand to shake hands with him, because as long as I was his wife there used to be my words that offended him or as long as he was his wife I could not be the one that suits his wishes. I apologize to the man who is now officially my ex-husband, hoping that he will give me all the money he ever gave me when we were tied up in marriage.