I Need A Baby
Ch 10 - Elsa's Room

Ch 10 - Elsa's Room

After Rifki died, Elsa was still stunned unconscious.  Unknowingly his soul entered the world he created himself. A place where he can hide and freely express his feelings.

This was not the first time for him to get anger from a Master. But still he felt a heavy shock. Shock as it turns out Rifki is a Master.

Not that Elsa never thought about that possibility, but that's just a mere hypothesis that has not been verified. So as long as he is not sure about it, he still has the courage to face Rifki.

But once he finds out who Rifki really is, all his courage is gone.

Elsa is not a fool and does not know adab or what they are commonly called akhlaq. A rule of law that is more complicated than just manners or manners.

Rules that can show a person's identity and knowledge. Because it is a law, its certainty is more absolute than Einstein's and other laws of natural science.

Elsa knows and understands that. Because it is the most important thing that must be held firmly by a student in order to get the barokah of teacher knowledge. So that science will remain in his heart.

In the world of pesantren whose name is barokah and ridho or in the Javanese language is pangestu which can also be interpreted prayer and the willingness of the teacher is everything.

Because the teacher's ridho represents God's riddho and so that the student gets the barokah of knowledge. Without the ridho of teachers, the knowledge possessed by students will become useless and futile.

Where the rules of ahlaq are among them:

"No talking to the teacher before getting the teacher's permission."

"It is forbidden to interrupt the teacher's words."

"Can't ask the teacher."

"Not to be prejudiced at ANYTHING that the teacher does even in our eyes is wrong. Because santri was wrong, teacher's fault was right."

The point is "If you don't understand, it's better to SHUT UP."

And there are many more rules that start with the word "No..."

(Of course the author knows the rule will be protested by the general public, especially readers who consider themselves smart.)

Well, generally speaking we know the saying. "Then ask perverted in the street." So that asking and arguing has become the culture of students with teachers and students with lecturers.

But for a santri, it should NOT be done. As difficult as anything Elsa must try to accept it. Because Elsa once lived in the world of Master. Sometimes it is still difficult to get used to.

Jargon famous in the pesantren world include "Wong pinter ora must nduweni ahlaq but wong sing duweni ahlaq must wong pinter."

Which means smart people do not always have manners. But people who have manners are definitely smart people.

The world that has the philosophy of "Al-Adab khoirun minan nasab" a noble person is more noble than one who has a noble nasab or offspring.

Because of this philosophy then came a new philosophy. “Wong sing nduweni nasab ora mesthi nduweni. But wong sing nduweni adab mesthi nduweni nasab” which means not everyone who nasabnya or his descendants are good has a good adab or akhaq. But the person who has adab or ahlaq must be good at his or her knowledge.

In the world of pesantren generally have the belief that science itself has a soul (having its own consciousness) that is very soft and likes tenderness. Science will only enter into the heart of the person who has the tenderness of the soul where the tenderness of the soul can be achieved with noble ethics. So science and ahlaq are two things that cannot be separated.

So no need to be surprised if you meet a knowledgeable person they will use the good and true Inggil chromo language as a high manifestation of their morality. Like rice science, the more it contains the more it ducks.

In addition, basically "Ora ono wong tuwo iku ndukani, sing ono ngandani." No parent or teacher is really angry, the anger of the teacher is to remind the student of his mistake. "The grandma in the dukani meneng-o!" When you are angry or in Nasehai, be quiet!

Not that Elsa wants to be considered smart because of berakhlaq (choosing silence). But because Elsa knows that the rule has very severe consequences if violated. In addition to causing science can not enter also make the word "quawalat" can be something Real.

(Author: I don't believe Elsa's ahaq)

Sometimes a Master's form of anger can be fatal to one's future. Because the Master is a creature that is loved by God, the Master has a high position and closeness to God, it could be that the Master's anger means the anger of God.

That means before you can get an apology from the Master, don't expect to be able to get an apology from God. And don't forget, sometimes even the soul of the universe gets angry because of Master's anger.

So do not be surprised if each Master seems to have a different anger style. Some can cause earthquakes, some can cause tsunamis, some can cause hurricanes. However that was not to say that Master was arrogant but because the soul of the universe was taking their side too much.

But generally it has something in common. Both have pressure on the soul and can affect nature. So do not expect to have the ability to argue, let alone courage, HP signals around just lost.

If you still have arguments and the courage to defend yourself will soon be broken because of his scholarship. If the person is still brave and stubborn it means that his heart is hard or dead.

Elsa doesn't want to make the same mistake again. In the past, he had indeed been very stubborn and had the courage to argue with Master when Master was angry.

However, Rifki realized that it turned out to be wrong.

Since the more that person had the courage to argue, the more that person felt right, it meant the more it showed how hard he was at heart. Increasingly shows his stupidity. The harder a person is, the harder it will be to accept the clues of truth and science.

The smarter a person is, the more he chooses to be quiet and listen.

Yes, Elsa used to be a player who liked to use guys. Likes to do one-night-stand although still able to maintain her virginity. Likes to stay in the game center, also stay at the hostel. Likes smoking.

So get the task “to be a girl who is really a girl not only her gender."

Rifki also taught Elsa how girls are really girls. How a woman should behave and respect herself.

But now Elsa is tarnishing her own chastity, forgetting what Rifki taught and soiling Rifki.

Elsa stunned. A chill suddenly slipped into Elsa's heart. Elsa felt a longing she never felt again.

Elsa also fixed her seat and rested as a tribute to the noble figure who met her and made her greetings.

The figure had such a delicate energy and was full of tenderness. Elsa was silent, doubtful. The sudden arrival of grandfather scared him a little. Because his great-grandfather usually will not appear when there is nothing important.

Several times Elsa came to visit his tomb to just "curhat". If people generally make pilgrimages to the tomb to pray or get a barokah, Elsa used to come to the tomb of the Master for "curhat". Unfortunately, Grandpa was not always willing to show up.

Maybe because Grandpa was too bored and upset with his stubborn grandson repeating the story.

But once a special guest came, the Grandfather immediately came to greet in a hurry. That makes Elsa jealous. Because the grandfather is more concerned with others than his own grandson.

So if the grandfather appears suddenly, it automatically causes suspicion and distrust in Elsa, is this just a dream or imagination alone? Maybe it was just his imagination.

Then Elsa thought, lest grandfather already know his mistake and intend to give him punishment.

Elsa remained silent while keeping her heart. Prepare to face lightning strikes, lashes, squashes, bogeman or whatever form of anger his grandfather. Like you used to give him every time he made a mistake. Namely giving him a punishment that makes his body feel crushed like a bulldozer crushed.

"If you want to cry, cry!" The typical calm voice of the grandfather finally came out breaking the silence and making his defense collapse. The fragility of his soul was revealed again.

Elsa cries again, thinking she will be given advice (Ehm, angry at her point!) he strengthened his heart, but now he was commanded to weep.

Did he not hear wrong?! His grandfather likes to tell him to cry. But was his grandfather really not angry?!

"Hiks... Hix... Hix...Grandfatherbiscuts...Elsa knows Elsa is wrong, Elsa has behaved like a prostitute, Elsa is not polite with Rifki.." whining Elsa, trying to explain how wrong and dirty she is so that she deserves punishment.

If Rifki is "a commoner" then her punishment of harassing Rifki is arguably "light". "Mild" because the punishment is limited to torture which if inflicted on ordinary humans can result in death up to several times.

But since Rifki is a Master, he could get expulsion. Expulsion for a Master means losing the light of eternity and eternal life in hell.

For Elsa, her grandfather (letting/pushing in the wrong direction) is more frightening than her anger. If Grandpa knew that he made a fatal mistake but was not angry it was really horror and gave him goosebumps.

It was as if his grandfather was like a demon who was happy and laughed at him going to hell. Because if Master does, it means the same as the loss of direction, the break-up of relations, the break-up of world-renowned responsibilities.

Hearing that, Grandpa laughed and said "Hahaha...Since when did serving a husband himself sin?"

"What's? Husband?! Why didn't Elsa's grandparents say anything?!" Elsa said a little sulking. Elsa doesn't know what to do. His heart was angry, shocked and disappointed.

Angry that she had been married without her consent. Shocked because no one had said that before. Disappointed because his grandfather trusted Rifki more than his own grandson.

But looking at Elsa's expression she just smiled, holding back a laugh, but that smile was enough to make Elsa calm down.

"It's not like Grandpa told you before. You're the only one who doesn't believe." Grandpa said insinuating and reminding Elsa, Elsa used to dream of Grandpa giving himself to Rifki.

Elsa also recalls that it seems like she once dreamed of seeing herself and Rifki getting married in the middle of the mosque.

At that time Elsa did not believe in her dreams. Yes, even though he knew that the dream about the Master was real.

But if in the real world he and Rifki never communicate at all, who would believe it??!

If indeed they are legitimate, why Rifki ngajak marriage again try?!

"It doesn't matter, it's just that the rest of your talaq is only 2, so in the future you have to be careful." Grandpa said answering the question in Elsa's mind.

This is not the first time Elsa has heard that three talaqs will be reduced due to remarriage.

But it feels very unfortunate if the opportunity talak initially three times only two because of the marriage contract again.

"Isn't it wrong that my grandfather was the same as Rifki? In other words, you know, I'm naughty, lonthe, hypocritical, faulty, wicked, my heart is also dirty, I don't have adab, smoker, con man, thief, ambivalent, not beautiful, not clear, lazy, smoker, he loves to sleep, he likes to run from responsibility..." The word Elsa mentions one by one its ugliness.

Yes, how could his grandfather match the perfect Rifki with his ugly self.

Hearing that, Grandpa just laughed and said "We know more about you."

"Grandpa must have forced Rifki, huh?!" Investigate Elsa. Because there is no way Rifki who never lacked women would accept it easily. If it wasn't his grandfather who forced how could it be?!

Elsa became increasingly suspicious of her grandfather. Elsa believes Rifki can't love her. Surely Rifki would accept it because of condolence or rattling alias feel bad about his grandfather's request.

And this time surely Rifki married her just because of the existence of the child that Elsa conceived. Not for love, but for responsibility.

It felt like Elsa's confidence just disappeared.

"You've been bragging that you're better than him, if you know that you're better, why do you feel inferior?"

Grandpa was right, Elsa used to feel superior to Rifki, but that was before Elsa really knew Rifki.

"Not to feel inferior, we all believe in you, we all love you, you all choose you because you deserve to be chosen." Said Grandpa trying to encourage Elsa.

"If you're heartbroken, that's normal!" Grandfather added.

Imagining herself getting married is not because love makes Elsa feel heartbroken.  In the past Elsa was often heartbroken, for some reason this time Elsa was afraid to be broken.

"Don't be afraid, we're always by your side. Don't be afraid to fall in love. Try to accept his love!"

Accept love? Can Elsa believe that Rifki loves her?

".... " all of a sudden Elsa's tears flowed back, knowing that Rifki was willing to take care of him because it was bound by a soul contract made her heart feel pain, this time Elsa really feels that she does not deserve the love and attention of Rifki.

"Don't be afraid! No need to be in the mind! Grandpa didn't want to see Grandpa's granddaughter pout and grieve anymore. Grandpa just wants you to be happy. Grandpa knows you better. Can't you usually love without being loved or not?! Don't you usually love selflessly?! Why are you afraid of falling in love?" Grandpa said convincingly.

"Grandfather, loving and falling in love is different! To love someone, I don't have to fall in love with him." - Elsa.

Hearing this, Grandpa laughed loudly.

"really?" asked the astonished grandfather with a smile looking at Elsa. Makes Elsa feel Grandpa always smiles and laughs when he hears Elsa's curses. It's like Elsa's still a cute little kid.

"Aren't you used to loving Hu, Ummi, Aby, the universe, the children, and also your teachers?! Why are you afraid to love Rifki this time? Don't you usually love them selflessly?! Aren't you also a regular broken heart?! where's Grandpa's beautiful granddaughter all this time? Why should I be afraid of GR? Consider this a lesson! Let's just say it's an exercise! Practice loving and being loved! Prove that you are strong! Prove that you can! Show me your skills! Show me who you really are!" Grandpa said calming.

Hiks..hiks...hiks..tasa Elsa increasingly wants to cry, this is the hardest for Elsa. Show him who he really is in front of Rifki? With all his weaknesses and his indulgences? Oh, no! Elsa could not imagine it!

"Aren't you used to loving Hu's lovers with all your heart, soul and body? Aren't you the expert at making a real show? Don't you usually play with love? Why are you afraid to play with love this time?" grandpa was half joking.

Elsa doesn't want to make the same mistake. Elsa no longer wants to play with heart and love. This time Elsa wanted to be serious.

"Aren't you usually also serious and wholehearted in love?!" asked Grandpa, read his heart.

"Yes, but the problem is that those I love know, understand and realize that my love is a love I don't want to have. But this time, I don't know why I'm so afraid of losing.and I'm afraid that if I love her too much. And I've fallen in love with her." Elsa said in denial. Yes, basically Elsa is a hobby of protesting, denying, and arguing.

"Thank you, Cake. Elsa dear Grandpa." Elsa said, that's all Elsa can say. What is clear, Elsa is sure that grandfather must have done that because it was the best for her. After meeting Grandpa, his heart became calmer.

Elsa was crying with relief. He did not think that grandfather would still accept and forgive him, even paying attention to him.

Once realized, Elsa only realized that now the atmosphere of the room air became cooler and cooler than usual. The coolness is different from the coolness of AC. Coolness that has a distinctive fragrant aroma.

Forgive me! Severe abis! Think Elsa. Apparently this time again Elsa had unknowingly moved Grandpa's palace here.

The door opened and suddenly Fara came in carrying food.

"Hmm, smells..." Lady Viona said back to her senses.

His head felt heavy, his body unable to move. Elsa finds Rifki's body asleep while hugging her. Seeing that, Elsa felt ashamed of her foster mother. However, in this world they still do not have a legitimate bond.