Istikharah Unites Us
Response of people around
Before I used to wear a veil, I often felt annoyed by the people around me, Indonesian or not, people I didn't know and people I met when I was outside the house.
Not infrequently they bother me, even though just say “Hai” even some say ”Assalamu’alaikum” but I know it is only used as the beginning of their mode only, but I know it is only used as the beginning of their mode, even so I still answer their greetings but I answer in my heart and I do not say it through my mouth.
Sometimes there are also Indians or Bangladeshis who throw kisses in front of me, maybe for them it is normal but for me it is a very disgusting thing.
After a few times I traveled wearing a veil, I felt a very good change, people were more respectful towards me. Once I took the bus (bus) and stood next to the door, it was my habit to stand rather than sit while on the bus. Then two Americans came in, at first I was scared, and I didn't know why I was afraid of them, but my fear was wrong, they both smiled sweetly at me and I returned their smiles, grandmother and grandfather.
But that doesn't mean everyone respects me, there are still some people who are even disturbed by my presence and feel afraid of me, there are still some people who call me a ghost, too, ghost and begu (meaning ghost in batak). But I don't pay attention to their insults.
Once I went home at about half twelve in the night, because I had activities outside until I finally came home almost midnight, my dormitory was located on the 6th floor. I waited for the elevator alone, suddenly came a man from behind, my feelings when it really did not matter, I was afraid that he would mess with me. When the elevator door opened I hurriedly entered, I held the elevator door because the man was still standing outside the elevator door, after a while I held the elevator door he finally entered as well. I saw him acting strange and very anxious, it seemed like he was feeling uncomfortable. When the elevator door opened he rushed out and left me. After he got out of the elevator I smiled to myself.
“I'm afraid of him, it turns out he is also afraid of me.” I said in my heart.
My God, without me knowing, these clothes have protected me. I thought, It's good that he's afraid of me, so he won't beat me up.
The next day I made an agreement with Brother Fia to meet in KFC Bukit Jambul, because we are still on leave of work. Today was the first day she saw me wearing the niqab. When she saw me, she was shocked and took a step back from being afraid of me.
I then approached him.
“This is Naura, Kak.” I said with a laugh.
“Naura Truth?” I asked with a face that was still confused.
“Iya, Brother. This Naura.” Answer me gently.
“I'm afraid to meet someone like this, the hijab is big, the eyes are visible, I'm afraid that she hid a knife in her hijab and then suddenly she stabbed me.” Say Brother Fia to the point while sitting in a chair.
“Astaghfirullah, why do you think like that, Brother?” I was very surprised to hear what Brother Fia said. I never thought at all about what the brother said.
“You don't know? Now there are many cases of the theorem.” The answer.
“Iya, Brother. I know that case. But that doesn't mean Big Brother should also be afraid of me.” My speech.
This sister Fia is my best friend, in my workplace only she is the most familiar with me, even we are often called twins by other friends because we are always both. I really didn't expect that his response was like that when he saw me wearing the niqab.
The next day at work, I saw he was mediocre, not even discussing about my performance yesterday. Until the time of rest, in the cafeteria I sat next to Brother Fia and then I showed her a picture of me wearing a veil.
“Kak, see this Naura photo Kakk.” I said while pointing my phone at him.
Then Brother Fia turned towards my phone.
“You why do you like to wear clothes like that?” Ask Brother Fia.
“This sunnah, Brother. And become mandatory if feared to cause slander.” My answer.
“You, Ra. If you play to the village of Brother, you will be killed there because in thought terror*s.” Said Brother Fia.
Astaghfirullah, I was very surprised to hear what Brother Fia said, it felt like my heart hurt so much to hear it, until I felt something stuck in my heart at that time.
I remained patient with him, and tried to create a mediocre atmosphere even though my heart was hurt to hear his words.
Sister Fia did not answer me, she just kept quiet and continued eating her lunch. I know, he talks like that there must be a reason, not to scorn my veil but because he's afraid I'm being colonized by someone else.
I know, out there there are many more hijrah tests that are greater than what I experienced, I also know the hijrah test every Muslim is not the same, he said, it all depends on the level of patience of each person and I know all Muslim women have the same goal, which is to reach the Ridho Allah.
“Tell the believing women: let them hold their eyes, and keep their kemal**, and let them not show their adornment except that which (ordinary) appears thereof.” (Q.L. An-nour: 31).
Sometimes there is also a difference in understanding about the voice of women, and I also agree that the voice of women including aurat. But that doesn't mean that when we talk, the opposing brother doesn't hear our voice. I actually feel strange with this attitude of morality, because the voice of a woman is aurat then she deliberately shrinks the volume of her voice so that when she speaks with the ikhwan, she is, the brother suddenly budeg because he could not hear what was said by the akhwat.
“Then do not soften your voice in speaking, so that the person who has Disease in his heart desires, and say good words.” (Q.L. Al-ahzab :32).
But if in my opinion, what is meant by the above verse is not to be soft, it means not to deliberately soften the voice in front of the brother who is not mahram, do not be spoiled and do not be insignificant anyway, so that the heart disease of the Brotherhood.
Once in a study, there was a newspaper who asked Ustadz about the voice of women, then ustadz replied “Do not intentionally weaken the soft voice until the person heard it becomes complacent and a disease arises in his heart.”
Not long after I put on my veil, I heard one piece of information about this Open University in Penang. My brother Dizu told me.
Then I felt very interested to study while Working here because the college system also did not interfere with my work time. However, I still have to number the work unit, because this work is what makes me able to be here, I am also bound by a contract and must obey every rule made by my superiors.
Then I remembered my veil, can I go to college wearing a veil?
“Oh yes, can you use niqab if you want to study at the Open University?” I asked Dizu.
“Bby, Brother. There is also a lecture using niqab there.” Answer Dizu.
“Serious?” Tanyaku.
“Serious, Brother. But Dizu does not know whose name.” The answer.
“Iya, Thank God if you can.” My speech.
I began to find out more about the Open University, then I contacted one of the UT Students and asked him about what requirements I should prepare. But unfortunately at that time I did not bring a copy of High School Diploma to Malaysia because I never thought about going to college while working.
Then I asked my mother to send a copy of the diploma to Malaysia so I could immediately apply for college.
Alhamdulillah after all the requirements I needed were complete, I immediately applied and I chose the English Literature major at Pokjar Open University (study group) Penang.
But it turns out that the Online learning system is not as easy as I imagined, after I worked for 12 hours in the factory, until home I also have to set aside time to work on exercises and tasks. However I must be able to maintain my spirit of learning, do not let me drop out of college just because I lost by feeling tired.
Imam shafi’i said “If you cannot bear the fatigue of learning, then you must bear the pain of ignorance.”
During the Tuton (Tutorial Online), I will definitely lack time to rest to sleep, I so often sleepy at work. The longing is heavy, but there is something more severe that is holding back drowsiness at work.
During work I should be able to make sure I don't make a lot of reject stuff, and I also feel terrible when accidentally my eyes closed and I fell asleep, my other friends continued their work. Suers! It doesn't taste very good.
But Allah is good, “Hablum minallah wa hablum minannas.” Which means keep your relationship with God, surely God will maintain your relationship with humans. Thank God, God has always surrounded me with good people, my friends are all very kind and understanding.
They know very well what causes me to sleep so bad, sometimes even from them there are those who help me finish my work. Alhamdulillahilladzi bi ni‟matihi tatimmus shalihaat. But not everyone is the same, indeed I have heard some bad comments about myself but let it be his business with God alone.