It's Not Sleep That Makes Me Dream, But You
Chapter 59: Serotonin (SMP Time Story)

Some people think that everything happens because it has been arranged with God in such a way, so we as humans can only try our hardest to accept His plans. Although we already have a plan to organize our life path, if God does not want, only the strength of heart can be used as a focus. 

          There are some things that we cannot plan or want, one of which is to fall in love. We do not know who we will fall in love with. Sometimes we can get along with friends of the opposite sex that we have, even though we often sit together, everywhere together, or even sleep together on the porch of the house, if love does not perch in each other's hearts, we will feel nothing. Strangely love is, he often perch to someone we are not familiar with and do not know about him at all, then the feeling forces us to try to be closer in any way. 

          The air is getting colder, I'm in the room is still busy playing God Eaters game on the laptop, I'm in the room, I spent hours just trying to catch a monster in the old town. Time feels perfect passed if used for game maen, even though the activity is not at all useful, just dapet twilight, does not produce anything. Impressed to be a waste of time anyway, but because it is fun and addictive, so want to keep going. 

          For a long time, the eyes are getting sleepy and want to sleep. But I don't know why my brain is thinking about the installment of a novel that never finishes. The vow is so bad, it's nothing, but I started writing from a time still free and odd jobs until I entered college was not finished, think about a year and a half, is there a time? In the past when SMK I have ever designed one title anyway, the school detective story is that, but rejected the same two publishers, the same, so I decided to stop writing first and just start again when I joined the junior high school reporter.. 

          Ten fingers hanging over my favorite Acer laptop keyboard. My brain is dead-end, the finger from earlier is not moving. My eyes were focused on the monitor. Sometimes I re-read a script that had been taken fifty-three pages from the beginning, so the stalks. I don't know why it's so hard to write a sentence, I'm actually stuck. There's nothing I can do anymore except. 

          The next day, I started the morning with a check WA from the school news grub and I dapet ration to write crazy tips & tricks for mading material. I was confused what to write, I was thinking while watching a comedy show on tv, because it must smell like comedy. Besides that, I actually do not really understand what I have to write, and as a result I decided to go to school on holiday. 

          Upon arrival at the school, I immediately took a leisurely walk to the headquarters of the school's journalists. My eyes are still narrow, sleepy heavy because semalem stay up game maen. I yawned a few times with slow footsteps. 

          Arriving at the headquarters, I immediately chatted with the person concerned. He started giving me opinions and advice on what to write about. Sometimes we also argue to determine the opinion, or just erruin “Mana better” it's all ordinary things.

When the discussion was cool, a girl came along, she was also a member of the school reporter and the one who made me fall in love for the second time. I have actually met him often. Meeting time to discuss the magazine, we had a discussion together, sitting together, even laughing together, at that time I had not felt anything and this time I did a little different, something different, before that, I didn't like Gini.

From that I just realized that, my biggest mistake is, squirming his eyes. I fell in love with her eyes, which, I think, is beautiful.

Time passes so quickly, taking us at the end of the meeting. 

          On my bike home, I was swept away with the song The Smith, called Asleep, which flows through earphones. I don't know why I always love his eyes, my lips smile, sometimes humming along with the song,. In my opinion, his face is not very cute, ordinary. But my heart trembled violently when I saw his eyes. How could that be? 

          Unfortunately, I have got an idea about what crazy tips & tricks I want to write for the weekly school wall newspaper. The shadow of his eyes he was still milling around in the head. My fingers are still dancing on top of the keyboard, writing down crazy ideas I have. Although my body soul is still sitting in the room, but my brain goes everywhere, sometimes to my eyes he, again and again, very disturbing. But, strangely enough, every time my brain thinks of him, my heart feels comfortable and my lips smile. 

          Over time, the feeling is more and more flowing, it feels more dalem aja, let alone fit accidentally squirm his eyes. My brain is frozen, my legs are paralyzed, my heart is like a newborn baby. I can't stop thinking about him, every time I want to sleep he smiles on his head even for a moment. And what makes me feel abnormal is, the cause of all that is just two human eyeballs. 

          I don't know what to do, I want to say I'm embarrassed. Afraid also that he is annoyed, after all, I am not a great person, not a rich, beautiful person either. I'm just an ordinary person. Especially when you look around, he is religious. People who know a lot about religion are usually very difficult to get started. In my opinion, people like that do not want to be invited to the road, want ta’arufan. 

          A few weeks after that feeling came, I still think of him on the same time scale. Because I was still on vacation, I decided to come to the city of bengkoang with my father, there was such work. In between the spare time there, I threw myself to meet Reka, my friend.

The design is a chatty ethnic Chinese girl, her face smelling Korean. Although he likes to joke and can not be serious, but he has advantages, like a kind of sixth sense. He used to know what we are silent without having to tell first and usually give solutions. Although sometimes like to expose people's disgrace, he can keep a secret. I assume he's one of the best friends I've got. 

          We were hanging out somewhere eating that seemed ordinary. After ordering the food, Reka suddenly took me deep. Things like this usually happen, if he looks at someone deeply, usually he wants to read his mind, sometimes also open disgrace. Because I'm used to freaks like him, so I don't give any response and look the other way.

After the ritual of staring at someone sharply finished, he then spoke. 

          “Lo again like someone yes, sir?” (Sir, is a familiar call of Design to me.) 

          I'm shocked. Unfortunately, at that moment I suddenly immediately thought of the person I liked. “Yes, you're like that, right? can not differ where privacy, which is common.” I replied in a flat tone. 

          He grinned and said “Sorry, his name also know sir. Hehe..” Said. 

          “Diem and do not use sixth sense can not?” I said, start threatening. 

          “Which chatter can be diem?” he said, talking to yourself. “Lagian six sense I auto active sir, so don't be mistaken.” Continue with a pouting expression. 

          I was just looking at him and smiling at him who was smiling at me. The first time I met this Chinese guy just wanted to tell him to read the script of my novel, all by checking the extent to which my writing develops. But because I currently forget to bring a laptop, my agenda turns into a regular hangout event. 

          I often ask him to read my work, besides he also likes to read and does not feel any objection at all. I don't know why this six sense girl is always enthusiastic about what I do, whatever it is.

One day he got word about me dancing in the school hall with my boyfriend at the time, he was immediately triggered so as to know more about me that he thought kept a lot of secrets, he said, it was very disturbing because Reka was constantly asking a million questions without stopping while she was by my side.

Honestly, I am the type of person who cannot express happiness. All my life, it was my first time dancing and moving my body excessively. I want to be invited to dance because he is happy again, I am happy because his dream (My girlfriend at that time, Junior High) was realized. It was a long time ago, about two or three years ago. 

          No way, me and Reka had spent an hour to chat and joke in that place. The meeting ended with him making a pact to watch a movie.

“Watch Thor movies : Ragnarok yuk, sir, you love superhero movies.” Said. I just smile because I can not promise to come or not come. Unfortunately, in the city of tomatoes there is no cinema, so if you want to watch the cinema you have to go to the city of Bengkoang. 

          In the middle of the car that drove towards the grandfather's house, I propped my chin while squirming out the window. When I sit on the window deck of the car that is again running, my mind will go everywhere, it feels comfortable and as if the load on the head is slowly released. I'm sure everyone knows the same thing. Again, I don't know why I think of him anymore. His eyes made me smile to myself. 

          A few minutes of daydreaming, my HP got an incoming call. When I picked up suddenly I was immediately killed. Turns out my ex's number. Without a second thought I directly chat him. 

          : not papa. Just check the number is not it, because you never tell me. 

             : Yeah, I forgot I had your friend. Wkwk. 

    : Oh that's it, already have a new theme? Or maybe just smitten with the other one? Inget yes, do not first, wait for me to move on wkwkw... 

          I don't give balesan anymore. Suddenly I wanted a moment where I promised my ex. I promise that I won't fall in love again until he finds my replacement. The goal, so that there is no sense of being pulled between each other. Understand just because we used to establish relationships can last a very long time, yes just a long time. Letting him get used to it without me before moving on to another is like the right thing to do. 

          Not long after, he sent another WA message. 

          : Uh, btw... I'm coming home, when are you going to your grandfather's house? 

               : Oh.., this is again there. 

          : Seriously?!! 

               : Jep. 

          : Meet yuk, if you nyampe, go directly to the sanggar where I used to latian. 

               : Ok. I went straight there. 

          Nyampe in the destination city, I immediately asked the father to nurunin me in the middle of the city. From there I directly naek public transportation to the dance sanggar where my ex trained.

Ten minutes naek angkot, I nyampe in front of the former sanggar. When I set foot on the veranda sanggar, traditional Javanese music sounds soft, making sleepy. I wriggle him again doing the gambyong dance alone, the volume of music is quite tight, his movement is weak to follow the flow of soft music. Because he turned his back on me, maybe I didn't realize that I was happy. She was still dancing beautifully without knowing that I was paying attention. 

         Former Wktu Junior High, my former first love is a gentle person. Very polite, he even called me politely. Her face is so cute. Very very cute, not only I said that, all normal guys will say that the Former Wktu Junior High is very cute. He had a dream to become a doctor or if not a singer, but he realized that the cost to enter the medical school was very expensive, he finally buried deeply his dream.

Because she likes Javanese culture and has a hobby of singing and dancing, she decided to change her dream, which is to become a traditional dancer. The figure of the Former Wktu SMP seems to describe pure Javanese cultures who love their culture. Nowadays it seems like there is rarely a girl like her. 

          I think she is still dancing. It's a great way to relax, I wish there were two cups of warm coffee between us. 

          While sitting next to each other, I and Former Wktu Junior High did not say anything, I was confused what to say and maybe he did too. It felt awkward that none of us started the conversation. I tried to steal a little glance, the mouth of Former Wktu SMP seemed to open slightly and closed again, then sighed. He hesitated to start the conversation. Though he was the one who told me to make maen to his hangar, but even he himself was also awkward. After a few minutes, we were both just in-dieman. 

          Traditional music that became accompaniment to dance Former Wktu SMP also stopped. The atmosphere became quiet, which was heard only the sound of afternoon birds chirping and dry leaves in the wind. Suddenly the former Wktu Junior High smiled at me and immediately stood up swiftly. He then walked towards the sound system that was around there. Not long after, the dead sound system was alive again.

The sound of a melodious violin then followed by a pounding of the tone with a fast tempo, a classy song. I know that song, I'm no stranger, it's my favorite song, Come On Elieen. Reflexively I immediately smile and squirm towards the Former Wktu Junior High who stands on the sound system deck. He looked a little laughing. The melodious rhythm of the song makes me get carried away. Former Wktu Junior High then nyamperin me and pull my hand, making sure dance. 

          We start the dance by facing each other and holding hands and then doing light foot movements in rhythm with music, like dance movements in the style of classic western films. It's the same as we did two years ago in the school hall.  

          The rhythm of the song more flat, our dance more chaotic, irregular. My body seems stiff, I understand very rarely motion, like mager. He joined again and muter-muter because his song is even more flattering.  Because I was a man with very little energy, I was tired and ended the dance with a slumber on the floor even though the music was not finished. 

          “Yah... really weak, yan. Haha... never exercise sih” said Former Junior High Time while scrambling my hair. 

          “...” I just diem, because you do not have the energy to talk anymore. 

          “Still yes, Riyan, already want to come.” He smiles at me. 

          At seven o'clock mall, I sat together with my grandfather on the porch of the house while looking at the moon which happened to be intact, very beautiful. While enjoying a cup of warm coffee made seandiri, I daydream.

Do not know why, I feel that the Former Wktu Junior High School is very happy when dancing with me earlier, while I am ordinary. In my heart, guilt suddenly arises. I shouldn't have fallen in love with someone else just yet. Moreover, it was violated, the former Wktu Junior High again reminded me of my promise again. The problem is, I always think of the owner of beautiful eyes, but not necessarily he thinks of me. Actually, I don't want it to be this way, but my brain always thinks of him every morning, afternoon and night. 

          “Kek, how the hell do I say love to someone?” Ask my grandfather. 

          “Do not try to eliminate, later even so hate, not good.” Said grandpa. 

          “Yes anyway, notya the woman always wants someone who is the best and worthy for her huh?” I am doing it again. 

          “Love is not about who is the best and the worst. But, who is able to survive to love him to the end, even in the worst situation though.” Grandpa smile. 

          I smiled while looking at the moon. I don't know why, my heart feels comfortable. Serotonin in my body appears.