Mission to Save the Heart
21. Cold War
Messed up. Ninety days before Zeev was found lifeless, our relationship became as far afield as the heavens and the air. Even my position was no longer back at zero, but rather stepping back to minus a hundred which was very far from zero when Zeev was originally. Things do not go along with the effort that I have been giving.
The golden sky from the western horizon would have tried to rebuke me that I should not have acted that far, considering that for the rest of the *** I was busy avoiding Zeev for refusing to come face to face with him. However, my ego was already overwhelmed by anger, sadness, disappointment, and dilemma over what I should do next. Can I fix all these things? Am I able to control the time I have left now?
Yeah, God! I just want Zeev to stay in this world!
Although Zeev did not understand that trust is not just an important thing for me, but a source of basic self-confidence that can make me feel the beauty of feeling accepted by others. Although Zeev was unable to grant a hope that this conscience secretly promised. However, that still does not change my greatest desire to be able to see Zeev for a long time.
Bruk!
Someone suddenly bumped half my shoulder, successfully pulling my sanity back on real. “Sorry!” he said, before the end of the girl passed in a hurry because she was being hunted by the time.
Unknowingly, I had arrived in front of a towering egg-yellow-painted building, so eye-catching because of its glowing color from the gray buildings flanking its body. Unexpectedly, I had walked for half a kilo meter and spent less than ten minutes accompanied by the reflection of the voices caused by my own mind.
“Tumben alone! Usually the same Zeev!” chirps Selena, the milk-white girl from Panca Sakti High School to me.
“Yes, today we are not together.” My reply while smiling bitterly while having to swallow the roundness that happened today.
If the predicate of the favorite state SMA in my city one of them falls to SMA Negeri Dirgantara, then the next favorite private SMA will fall to SMA Panca Sakti, a school that has a dark history with my school.
In the nineties, a group of students who were divided into several camps often held a tauran party between students as a manifestation in proving which school is the best in Bandung. However, of the many anarchist cases that have occurred in the last year, there is one case that is most famous among the public to this day, the most famous case, namely the war between SMA Negeri Dirgantara and SMA Panca Sakti which had to kill one victim died.
However, as time went on, as the times progressed, as well as the changing systems and customs that took place, the hot and anarchist wars gradually began to diminish and transform into healthier battles. In the year two thousand and twenty-two, the officials and students who are still divided into two camps prefer to compete with each other in education, infrastructure, and education, as well as various competitions in the field of sports and art. Unique DNA – throughout my observations since joining Barisfer Akademi – Selena and Zeev can become close friends in the middle of the cold war in the fight for the achievement.
“Then we continue to chat in dalem aja how?” haggle that oriental-faced girl.
In the end, Selena and I naturally shared a personal story while waiting for class to begin. Starting from the story of Selena who since first grade followed the guidance studied here and now she is focusing on following the physics Olympics that will be held. Then, it ended with my story that decided to join Barisfer Akademi to raise the value of my report. What an interesting and contrasting story, isn't it?
But throughout the conversation, Selena never once boasted about her achievements or looked down on me. He was friendly and liked to smile at me. And I'd rather understand a little bit why Zeev was able to get along with Selena. Yeah, in this world who doesn't like a pretty white, friendly, kind, smart girl like Selena? Even I, who is actually a woman, really admire the complete package that is in her.
“Good afternoon, everyone!” exclaim miss Diana, as our tutoring teacher. Not surprisingly, the arrival of the glasses woman also presents Zeev who came to coincide with him.
When my pair of netraku found the look in Zeev's eyes looking straight at me, it suddenly made my eyeballs spin and bowed because he still refused to see his face. The limbic system within is still determined to minimize all kinds of interactions that can occur at any time. Perhaps this heart still needs time to calm down.
“Previous meeting I gave you guys a task, right? Does anyone want to write the answer in front?” ask miss Diana to the rest of the room.
Also today I was back at a stop opposite Barisfer Akademi at eight p.m. to wait for public transport to cross my home area. And another familiar sight was the presence of the figure of Zeev next to me who was both staring straight in silence. I still don't want to talk to him.
“Tadi why did you leave first? I'm waiting for you in front of the gate!” zeev chirps, trying to add a crowd in the crowd the sound of a speeding vehicle engine.
Bodo! Answer me, I make a sound.
“Lo still mad at me, yes?” investigate Zeev slowly but clearly reflected in the ear.
Think for yourself! my mind again just wants to enjoy this conversation on its own.
Perhaps Zeev who could not stand this silence then continued to speak his mind. “That's in that canteen I don't mean to ngusir lo, Nar. I just don't want you to be hurt if you hear bad talk about lo.”
Instead of responding to Zeev's boring explanation, I let this body stand up and take a few steps forward before I finally decided to get into public transport that wasn't too crowded. For the first time I left Zeev without a word for him to take home, letting Zeev observe me silently from the bench stop with a sad look that began to be implied in his tears.
Be honest. I don't know what I really want right now. Part of me didn't want to waste time on a cold war like this. However, others still refused to accept Zeev's circumstances and treatment which disappointed me a little. At my age, I still find it difficult to control the hormones within myself that affect the emotions that continue to struggle in the amygdala. In the end, until the driver stepped on the pedal to drive his car, Zeev and I were still unable to get back to the point where we were supposed to be.