Mission to Save the Heart
2. In Front of Zeev and Everyone
zeev's departure has made my night as long as the time I spent last night, considering my body has trouble falling asleep because my soul still wants Zeev's presence in the middle of the earth. My life is empty without Zeev is actually increasingly composing the most complete Zeev shadow in the head. Not a shadow of the beautiful smile that every day I dream or the sound of laughter that every day I crave. But Zeev's last lump of shadow when he was drenched in blood was exactly three steps ahead of me, and the irony was that I was only able to be fixated on a provincial level.
Worse, the people around me forced me to respect how Zeev decided to go home. However, my sight was covered in a thick fog so I could not see when and where the day came when I could give Zeev his death away with complete sincerity. Zeev's entity might not be able to find any more in any hemisphere. However, the Essence of Zeev will always live with the elements that have been fused in my heart.
When yesterday I said proudly that first love is Zeev. So, from now on that pride has become a trauma. The trauma will always spin like a blind cassette inside the memory warehouse every day as if the nadir most tragedy has just happened. My first beautiful love has become something I least want to find again. Zeev who taught me the beauty of love that I had never met, and Zeev who was cruel left me battered without a trace of my elixir.
*A*pa I have a chance to spare you, Zeev?
“Lunar! Wake up!” my mother's screeches were heard coming through the cracks of the bedroom door, describing the reverie daydreams to welcome my morning.
“Iya, mom! I'm awake!” I replied half-heartedly, starting to shuffle from the queen size bed that had worked hard in accompanying me crying all night until finally falling asleep exhausted.
I did not leave for the bathroom, but slid into the kitchen on the first floor to find my mother. As in general, mama whose main job as an ordinary housewife would always be in the kitchen in the morning to make me and papa a plate of breakfast. Oh, errata. Housewives are no ordinary job. Because all mothers always carry out extraordinary tasks in accordance with their portions. I have always been proud of my mother.
“Ma? Can I go to school today?” I was trying to ask permission to ditch, hoping mom would understand me.
“Reason?” search for mama while shaking her waist.
Suddenly I felt a huge pressure on my shoulder. “Yes, I don't want to! I still need to calm myself down!” I said, hoping you understand that there is a mental need to be taken care of.
“Nak! What are you going to be, Lunar? Just a fair value! No, no need to bother! Now you take a shower! Look, what time is it!” my dear mama, the curly-spirited woman nagged me, destroying my expectations of my last hope.
Mama always has been. Even Viona once advised me to take my mom to a psychiatrist, considering that she was prejudiced that it was likely that she had multiple personalities. Sometimes the softness of the mama can beat the silk cloth, even sometimes the ferocity of the mama can match the safest wolf. Maybe from now on I need to weigh in. Should I follow Viona's advice?
“Wait for what else, Lunar? Wait for this rice barrel to float?” chirps mama, successfully woke up my daydream so that these two legs ran down the stairs.
Actually I could've been ditching secretly without my mom knowing. However, it will definitely affect the amount of my presence on the report card, which is where the edges of the mama will also know. Maybe even mama will be more angry if you know later. I don't want to risk my future getting a cut of pocket money. Not want. So, here I am! Although the school is no longer a pleasant place, but I still have to end up in front of the gate of Aerospace State High School as it is now.
“Zeev?” both of my lips refused to clench while finding a lump of flesh that resembled Zeev. I let both of my arms massage the eyeballs before I finally decided to make sure the young man looked just like Zeev in the middle of the court.
Oh, gods! Was I so devastated by Zeev's departure that I started hallucinating? Or was I suddenly given superpowers by having a sixth sense to see invisible figures? Or maybe this is just a pseudo dream as a manifestation of Zeev's answer to me?
Whatever the reason, I don't care. All I wanted to do right now was run to see Zeev, look him in the face up close, and hold him tight. And I've done those three wishes now simultaneously, a wish that I just had to do to Zeev even in a dream.
“Zeev!” I held him tight so that we would leave no distance. Even now I can breathe back the scent of Zeev that feels very real. “Finally I can see you again, Zeev!”
I was really made to be in a utopia with Zeev's presence as euphoric. Is this his name? I've never even been this happy before. Zeevku is now in front of me. My first high and beautiful love was by my side. The happy waves that flooded the amygdala did not even notice the mobility of Zeev who had slowly let go of my tight hug.
“Lunar, please don't get rich gini! Shame on many people!” whispered Zeev while circulating his point of view.
But, I don't care, because all I have is right now. Before I wake up and lose everything, then I will just do what I wanted to do all this time. I who was not willing to heed Zeev's request then clasped his hands together and said “I know maybe our time is not much. So, I'll tell you straight to the point, yes.”
Zeev still pretended not to understand and painted a frown on his forehead.
“Zeev, I have really liked you for a long time. But I was too embarrassed to be honest about my feelings. I know you may not be able to react to my feelings because we are now in a different world. And lastly I just wanted to say..”.
Suddenly my heart was beating beyond the rhythm it should be, making me nervous should I continue? But, if not now maybe I won't have this chance forever. Oh, even in such a narrow situation why does conscience and conscience make me feel guilty? Never mind, you fool! Just do it, Lunar!
The cup!
In the end I managed to land both of my lips on Zeev's damp little surface while closing my eyes. “Content, Zeev.” connect me before finally these two legs are flushed away after successfully expressing my heart without a single regret left behind.
My adrenaline instantly increased and raced quickly while leaving Zeev frozen in the middle of the court. I kept running while cheering cheerfully as if I was the single happiest person in school. I hope that was really his lips.