Move Journey
Seeing yourself in the past

“Ehemm” The sound came when I was cooking fried rice in the kitchen. “So much cooking yes, Brother mau”

“Hmmm”

Bang Razi is my cousin of Javanese blood. He was the only person in my family born in Yogyakarta. Almost all of my family was born in Jakarta. Coincidentally, my grandfather married my ethnic Chinese grandmother and then decided to become a convert. Now he has passed away in a state of Islam and our prayers in the Shayah Allah Khusnul khatimah.

“Again read what Bang?” I sat next to Bang Razi and ate the fried rice I had made.

“Sirah Nabawiyah” Someone forgot I told you about this Razi Kak, he is a student who also became a Da'wah Activist, he is 22 years old and is now doing PKPA to become a Pharmacist. And the book he read was a book that he might have finished 10 times until the end, but he did not get tired of reading it later on. He said, a memory can be lost over time if it is not remembered again, if it is not accustomed to meet. Just like a friend, I must have an SD friend and if now I'm 20 years old I've forgotten with friends at the time of Elementary School first. Because what? Because I no longer see each other and because I have new friends and also a lot. So, the past is definitely late as time goes by.

“Bang, have you shopped for me?” in addition to taking care of the campus move that will move to Kebayoran, I also want to create a branch store in Kebayoran. I made a living by making a small food shop. I created this shop with a simple purpose. This shop is intended for students or students to study, because the place is also designed with a calm concept so that students and students who come here while doing assignments can focus.

“Udah anyway, but the concept is Rooftop you want to do?”

“Can be seen first aja”

“Today where are you going?”

“Ke Campus only, run it to the store in Menteng. Oh yes, today I went home to Mother”

“OK”

That morning after breakfast I immediately left for Campus using my favorite vehicle, yes Take the train. Because it's the only means of transportation I think is the fastest I can travel. Although it is a bit scary to see a lot of people jostling at the transit station, but every trip I think has a lesson. Every day, even I always find a lot of lessons when it comes to public transportation. A different culture of the people of Jakarta makes me understand that Jakarta is so hard for the weak. A slacker is not suitable to live in Jakarta, because people in Jakarta live full of hard work. It can be imagined, buying a house in Jakarta is very difficult in terms of economy because the fantastic price causes many people to desperately work just to buy a house. And, the needs in Jakarta are also not cheap, we can spend hundreds of thousands just for one meal. Not to mention the Prestigious young capital city that was forced to follow a Hitz Passion in its Age. Like this morning, an apparition of a child and father in a car brought my attention to what was originally a Nasyid video on YouTube, now focus on looking at the father and son who seemed to be in an ice war. Both of them showed a sour face while several times speaking in a cold tone.

“Ya Papa's. Salah papa also” Said the girl who used the high school uniform without looking at her father at all.

“Papa why do not understand anyway. Why the hell?”

His father stayed there. No longer making a sound and his son suddenly cried softly, his tears flowed but he bulked back, then a second later fell again, then he choked again. So it continues until they get off at the next station.

Looking at them, there was a memory that suddenly appeared without me tracing first. That kid was me back in High School. Being the most selfish human being on earth, becoming a person who continues to want to be understood, becoming a child who always wants to be obeyed his wishes. Yes, a stubborn High School boy, who always feels persecuted when he is not.

There are several reasons that I just realized when growing up, why did I become the most selfish human being who does not understand tolerance?

Because I want to be a happy human being MYSELF. I don't even want to share my happiness with my family. Because there was an environment that I saw they were all living happily with their lifestyle far away from my life. They're free, I'm tied up. They got in the car, I got on the bike. They eat chicken, I eat instant noodles. They use Original stuff, I only have KW stuff. A culture that makes me feel different and demands to be the same. Though not capable.

“Daddy make money for you” A sentence that finally makes my mind open. That my happiness is her happiness. My papa.

When my heart is not good, then he is the first one who will ask “Why?” He will ask “Adek his pocket money temen-temen adek how much?” although after that my brothers immediately earthy “Dulu Kakar Just so this, kok Adek so much?” and dad will talk “Kan Adek his school is not in the past”

My father was not a wealthy man. But he was able to invite his four children to eat at the Mall every early month but my mother always refused to come, my father was able to create the simplest happiness he could. There is an advice that until now is still ringing in my head when my father is late to pay SPP and I am angry. Dad said that “The reason why she never wanted to be invited to the Mall is not only because you can ride the escalator. But because I know, if the cost of school is older brother and Adek is more important. Tomorrow I pay ya son, do not cry” when I was 15 years old and was sitting in class 1 High School. At that time I was in Private High School, wah really cool kids. My friends his father worked in government offices, some worked as a businessman, some worked as office staff, a lot anyway. From all kinds of social levels, I'm just friends with someone my level, the son of an industrial worker.

In the past, what I saw when I entered the gate of High School was the sighting of children delivered by his father in an Alphard-class car and then his school goods could be worth my allowance for one month. If you follow prestige, maybe I will not be able to survive school with an environment that does not match me. But from the beginning of entering High School, my father always said "Economic condition of each person is different Deck, Adek school father is there so Adek dapetin good education. Although I'm not an educated man, but I want a smart father's son. Adek focus of school yes, although Adek is not a rich person but Adek must have a thing to be proud of. If the other friends are known because he is the son of someone who is successful. Adek must be familiar with a myriad of achievements Adek yes" And evidently, I was known as "Oh Xaviera who is the son of OSN yes"

At the age of 15, I began to open my mind to what was slowly becoming inherent in me was untrue. Always angry when you don't obey what I want, it completely opens the nature my father wants. I was selfish, always willing to be alone, always willing to be equal to others, who were always afraid of being different. Now slowly transform yourself into a teenager who can talk "Oh, that's not much"

“Dek, we must be sincere human beings yes. With everything that happens today, and always be ready with what happens tomorrow. Dad or Adek also do not know what tomorrow will lose, Adek learned to breastfeed ya. Because in this world, nothing belongs to us. Even the house we live in does not belong to us. But got Allah”

And the next year, I lost him.