Move Journey
Learn from failure

I was working on a report in the cafeteria accompanied by a glass of iced tea which became my favorite menu in the cafeteria. Not only because it is cheap, but Ice Sweet Tea is a great champion.

“It's so dizzy my head. Matkul Pathophysiology of my disease dapet C, confused to repeat what engga” Davina Sitting in front of me while carrying a stack of files that he then put on the table.

“Laise Dav,. Xaviera it's smart Banget.” Nadhiffa then looked at me.

“Hah? What?” I then saw two grim faces.

“Xav, have you ever had a remedial school or college time to repeat matkul? The feeling of the academic path Lo straight. Never my feelings of horror Xaviera tuh repeat courses or dapet C. How did you learn Xav?” Said Davina who then downed a glass of avocado juice that had just come.

“After once, fitting SMA” I said which then closed my laptop. And switch to taking pen and journal paper to do the next task.

“Once doang? My God, this is what your brain is made of Xav?” Nadhiffa.

Like my story at the beginning, I was once known as “Oh Xaviera who son of OSN was yes” and obviously, it was attached in me as a burden. I was once caught off guard in one of the Genetic Mutation Chapter exams at High School and finally had to follow the remedial. Being a student who is considered smart, then always won every Olympics and discipline rules became a burden because I could not be a real High School boy.

In front of my eyes there is always a target, every night there is a deadline, even I have to stay up until 1 pm and wake up at 4 am just to learn. At that time I was too ambitious to enter UI (University In Shayah Allah) which became my main target to continue my further studies.

“I want to be known” and that's the impetus for me to develop what I can. Because the school in Private school that most of its students are the children of the higher-ups in the company or in the government is really not easy. If it were stupid, I would definitely not leave a trace in the memories of the High School children in my school. Because I want at least I can be known by people because I'm useful to them. When other people are known because he is rich and treat his friends to eat at a cafe or watch in the cinema, at least I can be known because I am smart and can share how to do PR to friends. It was a simple thought I did back in High School and now I'm forgetting it..

“But I pause for college 1 year, because SNMPTN failed, SBMPTN, Mandiri exam, that year I did not have a gap to enter my Dream University. And until finally here, it's not easy but everyone has a failure and everyone has the right to seize the opportunity to succeed” I said.

“But during college like Lo it never repeats matkul, practicum always smoothly without obstacles. Seriously yes, we see that Lo is a genius with no gaps. GPA Lo also always makes us applaud. I'm rich don't believe CRAZY HOW CAN I STAY TOGETHER WITH SEPINTER INI”

I just shook my head to see Nadhifa praising me to the extent, his voice was too noisy until I was made uncomfortable because the residents of the cafeteria were quite crowded.

“We have to learn, do the job with heart, without coercion and without pressure. So it has to be our own conscience that moves. Then the result will be as sincere as we do it” I open the next sheet.

“Engga can loh Xav, if ngerjain task ngga mepet deadline it feels less greget” said Davina who directly Iimpal.

“Iya right. Greget me too if you see the Matkul”

While listening to Davina and Nadhiffa chat, I tried to focus myself on continuing to work on the task that should be in the group for another two weeks as the final semester assignment.

Actually my motivation to do the task early is so that I can rest faster, because honestly I need a nap, I need to go to bed early so I can wake up early so I can do the next task tomorrow. I am also not a typical person who will linger looking at social media and pay attention to someone's instastory, except for one person who I outline. I have a lot of free time to do the task from there, because believe it or not mobile and the contents in it is a thing that takes our time.

I turned my memory to a time where mobile phones and social media were two things in my life that I couldn't leave, even to the bathroom with my phone, I don't know what's in there, but grasping it is becoming a necessity. When talking about addiction, drugs and cell phones are two things that are the same but not the same, because they both cause the same effect. Addictions.

“Tell Dav, said bokap I'm the one who sleeps the shortest is the one who will succeed in the future, Tuh We have an example in front of us, too, Xaviera was not only successful in academia, he also had his own store, had his own book even though now the book has sunk, right Xav?” The tip of Nadhiffa said that made me realize from my daydream. I listened to what they were saying, but my mind was also focused on something else.

“Iya yes” and finally That's all I can answer because of confusion looking for conclusions.

“Lo sleeps a day how many hours anyway Xav?” ask Davina.

“Depends on sleep where, if in Kossan it is only 5 hours, if at the house of Auntie in Kebayoran it can be 6 hours, and if at home Mother in Bintaro it can be 7 to 8 hours”

“Bentar, the feeling of Kebayoran to Bintaro Deket really right? How do you sleep at Mom's house? Why at Aunt's house?”

“Soalya Mom is only at home during Weekend, the rest at my brother's first house in BSD continued to house Mother if the usual day in the same place my second brother the same third and his wives. I'm just so awkward if there's no mom at home”

“Ohh gituu”

Then I suggest my two friends do the work, I force them to take some of the tasks that must be next Sunday.

“Only do you want later vacation time to be disturbed by tasks and revisians? Mending tired now than her rest time interrupted” I said.

“But Xav, if I learn it must be very quiet without sound. You can not learn flexible like Lo so where to when, do not know where to know the time” Davina said.

“Lo mah, pamper yourself to live a good life. Read a book in angkot, dizzy. Watching Vidio educate on the train, even sleeping. Performing tasks in the cafeteria, even playing mobile phones. Nyari reference in the Library instead ngeliatin doi people. That's the thought that if you hang in the fox, you will advance Davinaaa beautiful child maniss” said Nadhiffa who then he opened the journal sheet. When compared to Davina, Nadhiffa is my friend who is quite capable, although often lazy because the person next to him Davina often invites him to leha-leha.

“Nadihiffa, Astagfirullah are you talking about yourself?” Davina was surprised. Yeah, like I said. Davina and Nadhiffa are the same, but Nadhiffa is quite deft in doing the task even though it is a lot of leha-leha. He is typical of people who can do tasks on time, even though doing it mepet with a deadline day. Compared to Davina who mostly complains of task problems and sometimes works on H+1 tasks after the deadline.

“Xav? Have you ever been lazy?” Ask Davina.

“When?” Tanya Nadhiffa who seemed to be starting to listen.

I looked at them both. “If you're tired”

“When is Lo tired? You are super active as a person. Seriously deh. Lecture, keep running the shop, keep Dateng to the study, mending mah Lo ride private vehicle, this ride public transportation, decoys, heat, hot, but it could be that Lo hgga never looked tired” said Nadhiffa.

“How else, you should gini” I said.

“Kedai Lo is already quite rame, why not add employees anyway?” Nadhiffa.

“But not ready if to be placed here, later In God I want to create a new store in Kebayoran. Still plan, doain aja ya” I said.

“Tuh right, Don't be tired what Xav has to take care of all alone?” Ask Davina.

“You don't get tired of money, Don't be a healthy child” Reply Nadhiffa.

“Iya” I said briefly.

Then I took care of my laptop and books that were on the table because I had to go to Ciputat to attend a study with Vidia. I haven't seen Vidia in a long time because I'm more busy in Menteng. Back to Kebayoran was just sleeping, the next morning I immediately went to campus again.

As usual, I used the train as my means of transportation to move from one place to another. For some reason, this afternoon the train was so crowded that I could not sit. In fact, I chose the noon hour because usually the train is still quiet, not crowded by people who come home from the office.

The trip this time did not have a story I could tell, because my head was a little dizzy from too long standing from Gambir station until I got off at Pondok Ranji station. My eyes are a little dark, but I can ignore them.

Until Vidia finally picked me up with her motorbike at the station door, I was finally able to breathe fresh air. I'm starting to think that public transportation is too stuffy for me right now.

“Eh Brother? His studies will run out Ashar yes, stop by first ya to my house?” Vidia.

“OK deh”

At Vidia's house I was served a variety of food but I could not eat because my mouth began to eat badly. Some days I was too tired because every day came to campus, there is usually a two-day break for me to rest at home or just guard the store. But this past week I've always been on campus because I completed a semester-end assignment that required a lot of references in the campus library.

“Eh Brother? Brother on campus, huh? I have 3 days to go to campus, really take the train, so just do the work at home. Anyway, lately the hot weather is very serious deh” said Vidia while putting drinking water on the table.

“Oh yes, there are some reports that must be loved and still mergerjain some reports also” I said.

“I have to repeat one matkul anyway, actually it's up to repeat or not, just said Mama I mending to repeat. Wrong science must be realized he said”

“That's reasonable. Just so we're getting close. The error can be corrected kok” I said.

“So great feeling, Kak, if for example Big Brother at that time like Brother you will be here now. Sometimes yes, if abis met with my older brother I often think, Masyallah Can bengga I know Kayak Kak Xaviera, people who are thought will always smooth the way, but it actually failed, pushed everywhere. But, how can his spirit ga abis-abis, how can he not be tired, do not complain constantly, not desperate. While I was rejected once immediately blush. Feel, God I suck so bad”

Vidia is my underclassman, one of the witnesses who witnessed how I could become a student most famous for excelling in school and at graduation became the most famous student for being the only outstanding student who was not in accept at any State university.

I had a lot of hopes broken in the middle of the road, it feels like I can't afford to just join the reunion with the class because I'm the only child who is gap year and decided to work first. In fact, my first-class friends are all directly in college, some are accepted at famous PTN or PTS. While I, had to study at PTN because the cost is more affordable for me who decided to go to college at his own cost.

“Failure is not to continue in the lamentation of Vid, sometimes can look back to see the mistakes and learn from the past. But don't keep focusing on the mistakes. If you ride in a car, the focus is the front rear view, not the rear view. Right?” I said.

“Bener Brother. I know it feels like failure, yes it hurts only if you want to rise will continue there. Mama I often say she said gini kak 'Vid if the life we live, but God determines if you fail in a dream that is the best of your ideals, but God determines if you fail, what you need to do is not be sad, but happy. Because your dream is God replace it with the best thing according to Him. And we know that God's choice is the best choice. In my opinion, we can minimize failure with maximum effort, if indeed God does not want us there, I am sure God is ready for big things for my life. A simple belief that definitely makes us calm”

That's right Vidia said. A simple belief that keeps us calm is our own belief that all will be well even if our wishes have not been realized. Because sometimes, we focus too much on achieving something we don't have and ignore what is now there. And about a failure, actually failure is a process to go to an ideal that is promised, a best choice of God. What we think is good can be bad. But what we think is not good may be the best thing God says for us. God is all-knowing, all-seeing.

In the Qur’an Surah Al Baqarah verse 216 Allah says that means “Jibkan on you fighting, even though it is not pleasant for you. But you may not like something, when it is good for you, and you may like something, even though it is not good for you. Allah knows, and you do not know

And, not for be the last every human being will fail, but giving up or moving on is a choice. Behind the maximum effort, there cannot be a failure, even though the success is not a desire that is desired.

And keep the spirit,

Xavier..