MUST BE A DEPOSIT
TMS EPS 23: A BITTERNESS

It was undeniable that Syma was still very upset with the arrogant leader of the foundation. But on the other hand, he was also confused. How to get their foster children to go to school in a good place, by way of a good education. Of course Syma wants to be like Alma Alma who always thinks the best for her foster children.

"What makes you moody?" ask Aina who will also continue her education. Syma was confused as to what to answer. She did not want to disappoint Aina and her other friends.

"none. I'm just tired" she said with a tired face.

"Did you have trouble getting us into school?" ask Aina who is right on her target. As if I could read Syma's mind.

"Not really. Don't worry Aina. Brother will do your best,"

"No, brother, I mean don't make things difficult for yourself, Kas Syma. We can still go to school in our usual place. No need to be there," said Aina so sincere. Although Aina was a little naughty. But he is still a good boy.

"Sister doesn't feel that way, Aina. Don't think too much. Your job is to learn and learn until you are smart. Don't worry about anything else anymore. You understand !" syma said firmly.

"All right, brother."

"Ze. Pamit used to be with Aina," said Syma immediately moved to divert their conversation. Syma did not want Aina to worry about her school. He would still try to enter Aina into that favorite school no matter how.

However Aina felt that she had burdened Syma. Even though he is still young. But Aina always understood the feelings of someone. He knows that Syma is not doing well.

All he could do was pray that God would make things easier.

******

...حَسْبِی رَبی جَلل الله * مَافِي قَلْبِی غَيْرُ الله...

...Hasbi Robbi Jalallah, Ma Fi Qalbi Ghairullah...

...نُورْ مُحَملدْ صَلی الله * لَا إله إلا الله...

...Nur Muhammad Shalallah, Laa Ila Ha Ilallah...

...حَسْبِی رَبی جَلل الله * مَافِي قَلْبِی غَيْرُ الله...

...Hasbi Robbi Jalallah, Ma Fi Qalbi Ghairullah...

نُورْ مُحَملدْ صَلی الله * لَا إله إلا الله

Nur Muhammad Shalallah, Laa Ila Ha Ilallah.

So soft and soothing, when Ersad who just came home that night. Inadvertently heard Sholawat chanting echoed by Syma. I don't know why his heart felt the vibration so that his hair goosebumps. Ersad only heard it from behind Zea's bedroom door. Ersad believes that Syma is currently sleeping her little daughter.

Ersad closed his eyes for a moment. It is as if enjoying every temple sholawat that Syma carries. As if the meaning was exactly on him. That he is quite resigned and depends on Allah SWT. Sufficient is God who gives the best way for him.

"New mom coming home?" syma's voice that was already in front of him made Ersad open his eyes. Looking at the wife who always cools her eyes.

Ersad nodded slowly. In response to his question.

Syma noticed the look on Ersad's face that looked tired. There too she felt that her husband was upset, I don't know what he was thinking.

"I want to take a shower" he said as he stepped into his room.

******

After he finished cleaning himself, Ersad stared straight out the large glass window in his room. Holding a cup of coffee made by Syma.

Syma approached her husband slowly. Trying to figure out what exactly Ersad is worried about. But he had not had time to ask, Ersad had already opened his voice.

"What makes you love Zea so much, Syma." Ersad spoke without looking at him. And that question left Syma confused. What kind of question is that? why should such a thing be asked? thought.

"Of course because she's my daughter. No one can love a child except their parents. And it's the parents' responsibility, to take good care of and educate their children."

"But my mother is not like that" he said bitterly. This time Ersad bowed his face. A bitterness he never shared with anyone. Besides Syma. "My mother left me. When I need a mother's love. When I was lonely at night, I never felt a mother's embrace.

There is no place for me to tell stories and pour out all the turmoil in my heart.

Mother..

Who her?

Where's she?

Those questions always come to my mind. It haunted me day and night. It was a nightmare in every sleep. Sadly, there was never an answer I got. Deadlocked

Other people think that I'm fine, but they don't know that my soul is actually deformed. My life is without spirit. Heart's hurt. All I could do was cry in the corner every time I missed my mom. No one knows. I never told this lara to anyone. What people see is that I grew up like any other child. People know, I always smile and people know I'm always okay. Because what appears in my eyes is not necessarily what my heart feels."

Syma touched her husband's hand gently. Staring into his eyes. Ersad did not shed tears. But Syma could feel the pain she felt. It was as if all those wounds were transferred to him, which made Syma also feel it at this moment.

"Whatever your mother does. I'm sure there must be a reason behind all that. If you miss her so many times, then your mother will miss you millions of times. If you love your mother as much as the world, then she must love you as much as space.

You just need to make peace with your heart. Trying to accept every destiny God has written for you. If we are grateful, then Allah SWT will add more favors. I'm sure there will be wisdom behind all this. Maybe because Allah SWT is planning something beautiful for you. All you have to do is be patient and confident. Surrender to Allah Azza wajallah," said Syma so softly.

Ersad looked at him. The pain is clearly visible. But this time it's not about her mother anymore. Except for everything else. Syma herself did not know what it was.

"I've accepted that before, Syma. My mother's decision to leave me since I was a toddler was the biggest mistake she made. I don't care what the reason is. For my future, for me to survive, for me to go to school, the point is that once he decides to leave, he has gone from my life.

What I'm thinking about now is you.... "

Syma was surprised to hear it. Staring at Ersad full of confusion that emanated clearly in his eyes. Syma looked at her husband, trying to understand his every word.

"I?

Why me?"

*****

To be continue......

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