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“What if you try checking?” Sam asked as he put away the hair boy covering my forehead.
I'm shaking.
I've long given up on everything that smells of pregnancy.
“I don't want to be disappointed, it hurts.” Even the test pack supplies at home I burned down.
I'm about to move again.
“Not mean we give up right?” Sam held my hand, looking at me. “Fear disappointed doesn't mean we stop hoping.”
I shook my head with eyes that suddenly felt hot. “I don't want to hope, don't want to be sick, don't want to be disappointed, Sam.” My sobs are slow.
“We tried the test today, whatever the result, will not reduce my feelings for you. You won't slump by yourself, I won't spare it.” He wiped my tears with his thumb.
“Yes, I'll ask Aunt to buy testpack.” I relented just because I didn't want to see Sam's face turn clear.
Suddenly Sam reached into his pants pocket and handed me the package of testpack. I glanced at him. “From yesterday you pouch this?”
He nodded and nodded. “In case you agree to the test, I also know all the supplies you have burned.”
I turned the eyeball while receiving the package from his hand. “If I do not agree, you will definitely not stop making my woo.”
He chuckles in shame. “The name is also a business.”
Holy hooch! Look at her, it's adorable. Rarely would I have seen her face flushed like that if it weren't for the climax.
I hugged her neck and kissed her lips many times. “Law command.” Ledekku.
He kissed my lips. “Defender.” The reply bit my lower lip in a fit of rage.
“Nyebelin.” I bit her neck and laughed.
“Ceng.” Reply with a laugh.
I hit him on the shoulder and got up, I couldn't stand to pee anymore.
••
I brought the device in front of Sam with no intention of peeking at the results at all. When I finished using it, I closed it again. I was too scared to see him alone.
“Nih.” I sat next to Sam who was eating fruit at the dinner table.
He instantly distanced his plate, grabbed the tool open it and looked at it seriously.
“What result?” I asked doubtfully.
“You haven't seen?” he looked at me as I shook my head.
His face was flat, there was no expression. And that's enough to make me understand, I won't hurt. I won't be disappointed. I have promised. And it's better if I didn't ask that question.
Why are my cheeks wet?
“Sayang.” Sam rarely calls me that.
I nodded, understanding the meaning of his call.
But all I did when I got to the room was cry. I hugged my pillow while sobbing. I hate being a whiny like this.
“Why cry?” Sam hugged me from behind. I just kept quiet while closing my eyes. There is no intention to answer. “We have a long time.” He kissed the top of my head.
“Hm.” I just muttered with a loud breath.
“There are still a few months left before our child is born. You still have a few months left, honey. So ... Crybaby, do not spend your tears now, later the stock runs out before its time.” He whispered in my ear.
I was silent for a moment, staring at the window in front of me. Sam said what?
I turned around and looked at Sam who was smiling.
“What did you say?!”
“You cangeng.” Ledknya and instantly I hit his chest tight to vent what I feel at this time. This is not a joke, is it?
Sam showed me the testpack. And then I came back crying. Crying so much in Sam's arms while holding the testpack.
I don't know how to describe it, but I thank God. Oh, my God, I'm really grateful.
“So cengengeng.” again Sam called me by that name. “Stop crying. I can imagine what our son would be like if you were just like this.”
I hit her chest tight and bit her shoulder while choking on laughter and tears.
God, I may not be perfect and I will never be perfect. But right now, I feel like my life is perfect. You allowed me to be a perfect woman. She has a very good husband and is now pregnant with her child. Thank you, Lord ... Thank ye.
“Hai, Daddy.” I touched Sam's cheek gently.
Sam blinked, a tear fell on my hand. She looked down, peeked at my palm and cried in silence. I finally got a proper nickname for Sam. Yes, 'Daddy'.
We were not happy, but we were crying happily. Sam and I are really happy because now in my stomach is growing the figure of a little angel that we have been waiting for.
A struggle that will never lie to the outcome. I even gave up and got tired. However, it turned out that when I started to feel tired and give up, God, gave me what Sam and I expected. Give the result of all our efforts and prayers so far.
Sometimes, God seems slow in granting all the wishes of his people.
But one thing I now believe is that God reaches out to the minds of his people more than they know.
Praying and trying are key.
Never give up. Pain no gain!!
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TO BE CONTINUED....
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We pray together the mothers of the fighters line two, hopefully can soon get the second line that is always in the waiting.
Do not give up trying, may God grant all the do'a and this year can get pregnant.
Amyn. 😇