Not Just Love
Chapter 23. Not fully.

Two days later, Zamar felt his life was not calm. There was a feeling of anxiety and worry about something that was out of nowhere. Eating was bland, his mind was unfocused and his heart continued to beat incoherently.

It's been nine months, Maya's gone somewhere. The days, Zamar went through with work and work. On weekends, he would visit the villa alone.

So, how's the wedding going? All the same, nothing changes. Although, the mother demanded to have a grandchild as soon as possible. Sandra and Zamar's answer was always the same, for months, they would keep saying the same thing.

"Maybe, God hasn't trusted them both."

Or say,

"Patience, Ma. Perhaps, it is not yet time for us to be granted sustenance."

Thus, the couple covered their lies all along. Sometimes, Zamar invites Sandra to dinner or a movie. But, it was just a show, because in the end they parted ways, to do each other's busyness.

These few months too, Zamar will often stay at the apartment. The reason for the job, being a weapon for him, to avoid the suspicion of the mother.

Large room, with wide glass walls. Zamar stared out. The skyscrapers, standing firm. A bright blue sky, side by side with moving white clouds, due to the blowing of the wind.

"Huan," call him.

"Yes, Sir."

"So news about Maya?"

"Not yet, sir."

Zamar sighed. Not then, he asked Huan to look for Maya's whereabouts. Not to be together again, but just want to see it, even from a distance. He missed the girl's face, her smile, her laughter and her anger. He misses everything about her.

In fact, Huan had long searched for it first, before getting the order. To date, they have not found it. A city this big, looking for someone, is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Even though technology has advanced, it is still difficult. Maya changed her phone number.

Then, why after so long, Zamar just thought to look for it? He was tormented by enduring a longing for someone, whom he could never see again. Missing like this is like missing someone who's gone. Only his shadows and memories, imprinted in his heart and mind.

"Find him, Huan. At the very least, I just want to make sure that he's okay. She must have given birth to her child."

"I'll try, sir."

"thank you. Now home! I'll drive myself."

"good. Excuse me, sir."

There is still a lot that Huan wants to convey, but he feels the time is not right. The results of the investigation, little by little gave clues. Although, it is not yet fully proof.

Now, in a large room, Zamar sits alone. He held his head up, one of his arms bent over the table. Staring at the vistas, at the outside.

"You busy?"

Zamar. The wife, come without knocking on the door.

"What's wrong?"

"Let's go home together. I'll be more suspicious, if we keep going like this."

"Wait, just a second."

Zamar arranged the documents and tidied up his desk. He also put a picture of Maya in a drawer.

"We go straight home or do you want to stop by somewhere else?" tawar Zamar, considering the sun is still bright out there.

"Drink coffee?"

"Can."

This is their relationship, just like friends. Eat and talk, as usual. So, what does Zamar feel, the same as Sandra? Seven months into their marriage, did Sandra's feelings stay in place?

Relationships that he says are only friends, yet make comfortable. He can talk freely and openly. Zamar's warm embrace as she cried, her comfortable hand grip as they walked and her attention made her heart unsafe.

Impossible, he did not fall in love. However, as much as possible, he had to hide his feelings neatly. Because he knew, Zamar had different feelings for him. Although, he said he hated Maya, but the reality was different.

Sandra ordered two coffee and a sandwich. They sat facing each other, in the corner of the room.

"When are you going to graduation?"

"Next month. You wanna come?"

"I didn't promise. But, I'll work on it."

"Za, why didn't you ever ask me about that night?"

The real question was a long time ago, he wanted to ask. Zamar never questioned the truth about Sandra's whereabouts that night. Sandra who wants to confess, but is afraid to cause misunderstandings. Moreover, the mother continued to threaten him.

"For what? You're feeling abroad!"

"Didn't you trust him at all? You've been together long enough."

"Time, can't make you know your partner well. He could use a mask, before standing up under guarantee."

Zamar's words, sounding cold. Perhaps, to date, those wounds and memories, have not disappeared.

"Maybe he was framed, Za. I believe Maya, it's not like that."

"Indeed, who would set him up? I had no other lover and my parents took it well." Zamar shook his cup. "He claimed to be pregnant with someone else's child. Then, what else?"

Almost, Sandra dropped her glass, as it jolted. His eyes were round, along with his racing heartbeat.

"He's pregnant?"

"Yes, Maya is pregnant, someone else's child" Zamar said.

Could it?

"Come, May. A glass, Zamar won't kill you, if you drink a glass."

"You know, right, my tolerance for alcohol. I'll be dizzy and nauseous, even if it's just a glass."

No. gabe. Oh, dearGod. What the hell am I doing?

Cold sweat, soaking all over Sandra's body. He squeezed the end of his shirt, with trembling hands. Face pias.

"Why San?" asked Zamar, who noticed Sandra's suddenly mute demeanor.

If I say, Maya was with me that night. Are you gonna hate me?

Sandra looked up, dispelling her tears that would soon fall. Too late, too late to be honest. Maya is gone and she will be blamed, on things she herself does not understand.

"We're home!" Sandra got up, without waiting for an answer.

"Your drink, you haven't touched it." Zamar ran after Sandra.

On the way, Sandra was silent and refused to look at Zamar. His mind was stifled, he seemed to be pursued by sin, which hung himself, holding him to account.

Sandra walked first, after arriving. Without greeting or greeting, as he used to do. Luckily, Resti wasn't home. He passed by the waiter who greeted him, running into the room.

What was wrong that night? Sandra continued muttering with her brain forced into thinking. His memory was cut off when he was drunk.

"You why?"

"none. I'm just tired" she said by trying to be normal.

"Lied." Zamar held Sandra's shoulder, forcing her gaze back.

"Deliver!" Releasing Zamar's hand, the man touched her again. "I'm fine."

"Tell me, me! Are you hiding something from me?"

Deg.

Sandra's heart, like it's gonna jump in a minute.

"Hide what?"

"Don't lie to me. Every time you talk about Maya, your attitude changes. Say it!" The grip of Zamar's hand, is getting stronger.

"I'm not hiding anything. I just feel guilty for him. She's pregnant and alone out there. Meanwhile, I'm marrying you. He's got nothing, somehow he'll live."

The lake is flooded, finally broken. Sandra sat down, crying and apologizing in her heart.

Zamar pecked with a pushy look. It does. Maya is alone out there, with nothing. He left with the clothes he had brought, from the orphanage.

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