Sharing Love: Between Us
CHAPTER 6 Depression
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...❤...
Ayu sat down on a stretch of white prayer mats, patterned with flowers on her side.
His body was still wrapped in pure white mucene in the dimly glowing room, Ayu had just finished performing the night prayer service.
A routine she never left since her mother's departure.
Her tears had spilled even since Ayu started her prayers some time ago.
The shadow as he spoke with Radit this afternoon came back to his memory.
" Ay, Brother please forgive Brother, do not be silent like this Ay "the first word that was immediately spoken when Ayu had just opened the door of her room, after an hour she continued to hear her husband's apology.
Ayu hush....
Just silence....
Walk towards the sofa that was in the room. Her tears came back to see her husband's face.
A husband who has inflicted deep wounds on her.
" Hit Abang Ay, hit until Ay is satisfied... Brother willingly, as long as Ay would forgive Brother "Radit kneeled before Ayu who sat on the sofa.
Ayu was still silent with blank eyes.
" Ay, replied Brother Ay.... ANSWER AY..!" Radit shouted at the end of his sentence.
Radit could not see Ayu who was just silent while crying from now on, he better accept the abuse and outburst of anger from his first wife, than in this treatment.
Standing up and rubbing his face rough, never expected Ayu's reaction even like this.
Radit thought Ayu would cry, roar and release her anger at him and Mala.
But what is this.... He was even made to feel very guilty for seeing Ayu who did not even blame herself and just kept quiet with tears flowing.
" What should I do ?" Ayu said with a blank look.
" It's all going to be in vain, right..? " lirih Ayu dared to look at Radit's face with a feeling of destruction.
Being quiet...
Radit silently heard the words that were thrown from Ayu's trembling mouth.
He's stuck...
True what Ayu said, everything was in vain, whatever Ayu will say will not be able to change everything that has happened.
Gratuitous...
Yep... Everything will be free...
The beautiful bead of his wife who was always filled with the twinkle of happiness and spirit, is now dim.... Replace with a spot full of hurt and disappointment.
Radit's heart ached to see all that, especially now that he himself is the one who gives the wound to the woman who is slumped in front of him.
The woman who has always supported herself in times of difficulty and pleasure, in times when she had to struggle to find a job and has not been successful as now...
Ayy...
Ayu is always there for him...
Become an encouragement when he himself feels tired with his struggles....
But now what did he give to this woman ?...
Just hurt and disappointed...
Radit clasped Ayu's hand tightly, kissing her many times.
" I'm sorry.." Only that word was able to come out of his lips...
The words he kept saying over and over again, hoping his wife forgave the mistake he made.
Ayu turned her face away, she could not even see the face full of regret her husband.
It was too painful just to look at the face of someone who had already scratched a deep wound in his heart.
" Give me time Bang, I'll calm down first.."
Radit looked at the beautiful face of his wife who was now very messed up with tears.
" Well.but..."
" I beg Bang.."
Radit had not yet finished his words, Ayu had interrupted.
" I beg Bang, this is all too sick...." Ayu ventured to look into her husband's eyes.
.
Ayu moved to the top of the small bed she used to use when she wanted to rest in the boutique.
Squeezing his body that feels weak, still by wearing a complete face.
Slowly he closed his eyes still with the roar of tears that always adorned his face a week ago.
Cuddling around her knees like a baby, she had not even eaten since last afternoon, and was now past midnight...
Crying with friends of darkness, Ayu did not even turn on the lights of the room, only the light from the outside entered through the gap of the curtains that illuminated it.
The dizziness in his head was getting more and more pronounced, his eyes were getting blurry...
Until the darkness finally took away his consciousness...
Ayu was unconscious...
It was too much of a reality that he had to accept today...
Never separated in his life if he will be betrayed by his own husband and best friend.
For a long time he tried to get out of the trauma of domestic failure experienced by both parents, resulting in him being separated from his brother and never getting the affection of a father.
Until he dared to decide to step into a marriage with Radit in the hope that failure will never happen to his own household.
But what happens now leads him to his past trauma again.
How will he be selfish and ask Radit to choose one between him and Mala, if now there is a child who will be a victim of his selfishness.
He was the victim of a failed family, and left a million wounds for a child that his parents would never have felt.
Cacian.makian...
Ayu has felt all that, being a child who has always been the explosive material of his friends, until he himself feels never expected in this world.
Yep... Ayu even tried to commit suicide when she was thirteen by slashing her wrists.
Fortunately, at that time his mother came home quickly from work so that Ayu could be saved.
At that time Ayu was also known to have dysthymia or low-grade depression due to environmental influences and childhood trauma.
Since then the mother chose to move from her old house, while continuing to undergo treatment for Ayu.
For one year Ayu had to go back and forth to consult a cycologist, until finally he could completely recover from his depression, and could live a normal life again.
.
.
In the morning Ayu was dressed as usual, she cleaned up the boutique before opening it.
" Good morning Mba..." Sapa Riska who just came in.
" Morning Ris.." said Ayu while continuing to tidy up a dress that was in a menekin.
" Mba nginep here, why is the tumben early in the morning already in the boutique ?" tanya Riska sits on the sofa in the middle of the boutique for customers.
" Yes, Mba fell asleep last night." replied Ayu sitting next to Riska.
" Have you had breakfast yet ? It just so happened that my mother brought me "Riska brought out a lunch box with fried rice.
" Uh.. I think it's good, is it really for Mba ?" Ayu looks sparkling.
For a long time he never ate from a mother.
In the past, when his mother was still there, he was always prepared like this.
" Yes, Mba just eat, let me continue to clean up" said Riska walking towards the back to store her bag in the locker.
Ayu lifted the box into her lap, opening it with the shadow of her mother's face while smiling.
One tear drop escaped gliding beautifully on Ayu's face, remembering the long-gone Mother.
" Mba crying ? Why Mba ? Fate is not good, is it ?" cerocos Riska just got back from behind.
Soon Ayu wiped her tears, then smiled sweetly as usual.
" So, no papa... The rice is delicious, really good even.." said Ayu while putting again a spoon filled with fried rice into his mouth.
That is Ayu, who always looks cheerful in front of everyone even though his heart is not okay.
Hiding all his sadness for himself, without even showing it to the people around him.
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...Seriate......
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