The Smell of Love Imriyah
I'm Alone
Amra still sobbing in tears remembering all her memories with her mother. It seems unfair to Amra, she has not been happy with the mother she loved so much, and now when soon she will bring happy news and improve the standard of life of the mother. He came home and left her. This is not fair! Amra still wants to be more devoted to her mother
"Why did You take my mother, O God..." He mumbled involuntarily on the sidelines of his cries
"Astaghfirullah's... Amra's mother, ikhlaskan ibuk..." Syifa tightened her embrace
Amra's cry grew firmer as the mother's face flashed before her eyes. All the memories rolled like movie rollers, making Amra's heart feel in shreds
"Nature..." A gentle call from Hafidz managed to ease his cries, though he still lowered his head and nodded
"I know you are very broken now, but never blame the circumstances, let alone to protest against this provision of God! Everything is outlined... Sincerely your mother, pray for her to have the most beautiful place in God's side..." Hafidz crouched down in front of Amra and said the sentence slowly, gently and carefully. Amra lowered her head and went back to crying in silence
"Astaghfirullahal 'adziin..." Hafidz smiled faintly, wanting to feel like he was stroking Amra's head, but that was impossible. After a slow sigh, Hafidz stood up to book a plane ticket
"Syifa, please help Amra get her things ready, we have to leave immediately.."
"Yes, um.." Syifa stroked Amra's shoulder several times and then helped her up and led her to sit on the bed, before moving on to help Amra get ready
"I can go home by myself mas." said Amra so feeling a little calm
"Where can you go home on your own with this kind of situation? I'll drop you off Amra. I've had a plane ticket.."
"Aircraft? I don't have the money to get on a plane..." Amra also wants to get to the village soon, but there is no money to buy a plane ticket
"Don't think about it...!" The gentle cry made Amra raise her head and look at Hafidz, who revealed her shady smile
"Thank you so much Hafidz, I don't know how to repay you..."
"Enough to return your smile..." Amra looked at her with tears in her eyes, not knowing what was on Amra's mind at the moment. But Amra's view this time was sharper and deeper than usual. Hafidz felt weak to get that look, he immediately turned his gaze away from Amra
"I'm sorry... Amra..." Amra's tears trickled back, remembering her mother's last wish. Mr. Joko himself just silently watched them, he also liked Amra and hoped Amra to be his daughter-in-law. Syifa looked at Hafidz with a slow sigh, then approached Amra,
"Mbak... We're leaving now!" Amra turned to look at Syifa and nodded slowly. Syifa helped him stand up and carried Amra out of the house, Hafidz was still in his position, until Joko approached and held his son's shoulder
"He's shaken..." Hafidz nodded and looked sorry to have said such a sentence, then followed after a few breaths.
It did not take tens of hours to reach the hometown, but this trip felt very long for Amra. He wanted to stop crying, but the more he tried to stop, the more his tears flowed. Luckily he was one seat with Syifa, so there was still something to calm down
"Hugely..." Murmuring him in between his cries, Syifa could not say much, she could only stroke Amra's back trying to calm down
About five hours later they reached Amra's house. There are not many mourners, the atmosphere is not as crowded as before.The sky is dark because the day has changed night. From far away there was already so much mist in the humble house. Not only relatives who feel mourning, the neighbors grieve with the departure of people as good as Amra's mother. They also have many memories with him. The car stopped right in front of the house, Amra rushed out of the running car while shouting her mother's name
"Mayorukkk....."
His crying broke again as he entered the house in a frenzy. Bulhek who heard Amra's voice immediately approached and hugged her, calming her so upset niece
"Yukk... Ibuk..." His breath gasping
"Your bus is buried, Ra..." Hearing the whisper, Amra's body suffocated and fell unconscious in the arms of the bulhek
"Norra..." Not feeling Bulhek screaming in panic, Hafidz immediately approached, but he could not touch Amra. Finally, with the help of some Amra men were carried to the room.
Hafidz leaned against the wall and looked very worried. He breathed heavily while looking down. It felt like he wanted to marry Amra right now, he really wanted to be near Amra at a time like this, Syifa approached
"Mas... We go home first." he said slowly
"No, I'll be here.....!" He just wanted to make sure Amra was okay.
The night was getting late, Amra had regained consciousness from her stupor. He was calmer, although there was still a lot of sadness on his face. Tonight he will be accompanied by a bulhek until the mother's seven daily finishes. Amra came out of the room and sat on the porch of her house, where she and her mother used to talk. Tonight felt very different, the warmth he used to feel now disappeared. He's alone...
***
"His second son in town is looking for a wife, and Joko feels attracted to you.... I think, instead of you hanging like this, it's better if you get married nduk....!"
"Amra's not ready yet...."
"Lho's? Have you been 25 years? I was married when I was 15...." Said the gentle mother
"But Amra is not ready... Sorry, Amra still wants to work..." His head lowered, hinting at the guilt of rejecting his mother's wishes
"Lho's? Mr. Joko is a good family ! Would it be a shame to be rejected? This mother wants you to live well...."
"Not that Amra does not want to obey the mother, Amra really still wants to succeed and make mother happy.... If Amra marries, Amra will have a family of her own and will rarely be with her mother... Sorry buk...."
The mother turned to him and looked at the daughter a little disappointed. But what can he do? Navigating the household heresy is difficult, what would you say if the person is still not ready?
"He's coming home! You don't want to see me first? At least make a consideration?"
"Once again sorry buk, if Amra's heart is not steady, it's good we don't have to meet, rather than later make a wound! We better not know buk first..." The mother sighed
"alright... Ibuk will not force, but it's good if you think again..." Amra just smiled and continued her work.
"Yesterday, when you go back to his house, Mr. Tuti, Joko came here again, asking for the continuation of his statement a few weeks ago....! He said, son Hafidz is willing to leave his job to wait for a definite answer from you! Ibuk will not force, but is not when there are good men who intend to menghitah will be dear if rejected? Nak Hafidz is also handsome, pinter and already well established again..!"
***
"Yes Allah... Ibis.... Amra's sorry..." Amra leaned against the wall and cried while covering her face. It was the first time in her life that Amra refused her mother's request so many times. Even though the mother has persuaded many times. And now he feels like a sinner because of that. Lost is his chance to apologize, lost is already his chance to serve. Lost was the opportunity to ask for prayer, and all was lost. Could this be punishment? He couldn't even see his mother's face one last time? Could this be a punishment from the power because he was so selfish?
Amra was stuck in the middle of that dark night. Her crying broke so hard. The hardest day of his life has begun. Regret makes his chest more tight, if he knows the mother will go home quickly, if he knows the moments with his mother are only a short stay, he would not go and refuse the mother's request.
"Hugely....." His words sounded so heart-wrenching on the sidelines of his pill breath.
From inside the house of Bulhek also cried to see Amra as broken as that. She knows how Amra loves her mother. The husband came closer and held both arms
"How can we leave Amra alone, sir?"
"Amra's a strong boy, she'll be back soon just fine as time goes by, ma'am... We also have dependents in Surabaya..." Bulhek looked down sad.
Outside, not far from the funeral home. Hafidz stood looking at Amra with a broken heart. His feelings for Amra were deep. He felt not strong to see the person he loved so much was destroyed like this
"You'll never be alone, Ra... I'll make sure of that!" He said with great determination and then left.
The next day.....
Long night, Amra's been through. Tired of crying Amra went back into her room and lay down. He wanted to go to bed, and wished all this was just a nightmare. As the dawn of the Adhan reverberated, Amra came out of her room to take ablution
"Hud?" Amra said softly and then smiled as she entered the mother's room as she caught a glimpse of her mother holding a prayer mat to prepare for dawn prayers. But his smile disappeared as soon as he knew he had mistaken, he was a bullek Na who indeed had a very similar face to his mother
"Wake up, nduk?" Same with his voice type. Amra just nodded and came back out with an unbecoming feeling. As much as she tried to hold back her tears. He can't keep falling like this. He must be steadfast and sincere to let go of the mother, his task at this time is not to continue to lament that has happened. A Muslim cannot mourn the passing of a loved one. He must get up and move on.
As the sun rose, Amra was getting ready to go to the mother's grave. Despite the sadness left on his face, today he looks more normal
"Where are you going, nduk?"
"To my mother's tomb, Amra went first bulhek... Asalaminophen..!" Amra smiled knots then moved out.
Amra pedaled her old bicycle slowly towards the place where the mother was currently residing. It is true compared to yesterday, today Amra looks brighter. As bright as the mood this morning. Sometimes he smiled kindly to reply to the greetings of his students first, until finally the pedal of his bicycle stopped, when an old grandmother, who was usually called Mbah Yem greeted him. Amra was a polite girl from a long time ago, it was impossible for her to keep walking, while the person older than her greeted
"Assalamualaikum. mba..." Amra got off the bike and approached
"Patience to the nduk..." Mbah Yem hugged her, Amra smiled wryly as she tried not to cry
"Your bus is more dear to God..."
"Nggeh... InshaaAllah Amra is sincere..." Amra took off the hug slowly while showing her smile.
The death of a good man will be mourned by many. Miss Marni, who is a very good figure, has looked as good as she is because she has raised Amra to be a girl who is also very good akhlaqnya, has a sense of shame as a woman.
"Where are you going nduk?"
"You go to my mother's tomb, mbah. yesterday Amra did not have time to bathe and take my mother to her final resting place..." Mbah Yem patted Amra on the shoulder to strengthen, Amra nodded her head in gratitude.
"Amra go first huh mbah, Assalamualaikum.."
He rode his bike back to the funeral. Until five minutes later he arrived. Previously he had asked Bulhek where the location of the mother's tomb. He followed the nutrition looking for the navel of the mother who turned out to be next to the father. Amra smiled bitterly looking at that. Then he sat down between the two tombs, touching the mounds of the ground both of them bitterly. Immediately he bowed his head, offering prayers for both. One of the best charities for someone who has died is the prayer of his sholih and sholihah children. A lucky and successful parent is not a parent who can give their child luxury or worldly possessions. Successful parents are when they can educate a child who fears Allah and is devoted to him even though he may not have a body in this world.
"The deepest sorrow of a child is when he no longer gets a powerful prayer from the hands of a mother..." Mumbled Amra while touching the mother's headstone
"I'm sorry Amra ma'am...." Too many mistakes that Amra felt, to make her feel claustrophobic when saying sorry.
He remained alone, his encouragement leaving him alone. Half of her happiness had gone along with the mother's return to the Divine lap, half of her soul was lost and it made it all feel heavy to do. Could it... A substitute figure, who would fill the empty space in his heart would be present soon? Or the... Will the room be empty for a long time?