The Smell of Love Imriyah
Perturbed

They say that first love will stick around at any moment. Even though you have a new love. I guess it will never be the same. They say too, if first love is painful. Not many people succeed with their first love. Really so??

Who has never felt first love? Almost everyone in the world has experienced what is called first love. Some are running smoothly, some are walking full of twists, full of wounds, full of tears and full of betrayal.

In fact, that first love is a taste that really makes the heart explode. Flowering, to wherever we step as if the sky sprinkles colorful flower petals. Lucky indeed for those who have succeeded with their first love, but it will be a story, the most painful experience for those who fail.

Where the night felt so exhausting. Both eyes are closed, asleep, but the subconscious gives a tiring story. Always present in a dream, even if sometimes we do not want it. And where the day feels so painful. Because our partner is in sight, but the face of first love is always drawn. Guilt, weakness, breaking hearts and minds.

If love is a gift, why should a heart be hurt for it? If loving is such a noble thing then why would anyone have to swallow a bitter pill in return.

Tortured in a never-ending prison of first love. Amra wants to be free of all this pain. If God united him with Hafidz in a sacred bond, why was he still left imprisoned by a past feeling he never even started? Is this the reason, why is it so hard for him to let go of Fatih? Was hiding first a wrong decision?

Wearied...

Amra felt very, very tired, very eager for Amra to meet the person who could let go of these shackles. At least, one reason is able to make him “hate” his first love. Maybe that's for the best.

The car Amra was riding in stopped not far from the daycare where Amra worked. Across the street, there was a garden chair, Amra chose to sit there. Watching the parents who delivered their daughter's son, flat.

The rising sun makes the morning warm. His light penetrated through, the cracks of the leaves on the shade tree where Amra was sitting. Amra looked up and looked at it. Then, as she looked back at the daycare, Amra saw a black car stop there. The driver came out.

By ourselves...

Without a daughter or son. He was a well-groomed man in his work suit, after closing the door of his car, the man circulated his gaze, like he was looking for something. From her heart, she seemed to be agitated.

Amra who knew who the man was just stayed in his place. But his eyes were still on the man across the street. A memory of the past flashed through his brain. He remembered a long time ago, secretly watching this man, when he was playing ball or talking to his friends. Or when this man, be quiet alone.

Yet there was not the slightest trace of a reminiscent expression on his face. Amra's face was still flat. It was just that from his two sanyu eyes, it could be seen if he was very desperate and tired.

Amra, it's still like that. Although at this moment, the restless-looking man finally found him. From across the street, the man looked at Amra, and stood pecking for a moment. Their two eyes met each other, looking at each other with grief.

One regret of this man was, why did he not fight for the woman who was currently looking at him desperately? And chose to marry another woman, even though she was forced to. The more he looked at the woman across the street, the more he felt that she was harboring thousands of sorrows.

Slowly his feet stepped, approaching him as if unblinking looking at him. They are so close now. The woman —Amra— finally turned her eyes the other way. Along with that his tears dripped, but he quickly wiped them away

“Amra..”.

“If I knew that you were a bad man, I would never be attracted to you” said Amra flatly, still not looking at him, the man lowered his head

“Am..”

“Fatih's... All is done, no need to be clarified again”

“Nggak Amra..” Fatih said while shaking firmly.

“You know, I am the wife of your best friend, stop! Don't bother us!” Amra said slowly but firmly.

“Where have you been all this time?” amra's voice trembled, her cries spilled, while Fatih simply looked at Amra with concern. Both of his eyes were also heated up, as well,

“When you know how I feel through that letter, where have you been?” Fatih was still speechless, this Amra speech had really struck down her deepest heart

“If you put your feelings on me from a long time ago, why did you disappear? Why is it that your best friend, whom I know nothing at all, has to try so hard to get my heart? “ Amra raised her voice. Maybe this was the first time Amra said in a loud voice.

Fatih felt very weak from this attack

“Not meant to disappear Amra, I was in a difficult position back then!”

Amra looked back at him with a hard look

“SOMPLE WHAT?”

Fatih's breath was quick to see Amra like this, not expecting the notoriously gentle Amra all this time to be like that?

It seemed that the wound in this woman's heart was too deep and left a great pain

“Is it harder than me? Who should swallow this feeling alone? Without clarity! Pray day and night! But what I call in my prayer is never present? What kind of heavy situation do you feel?”

“Amra.. sorry..”.

“Love you secretly, and watch you secretly like a fool!” Sela Amra was still full of anger

“And now! With care you come after I become someone else's wife?” Fatih looked down helplessly as Amra grew fiery

“I beg! I beg you, stop all this, I have done too much to sin with Mas Hafidz for never being able to love him! Please stop Fatih, let me learn to love her, please don't call me again! Don't you remind me of that pain! I beg!”

Amra's voice swallowed, her face was already teary-eyed and she put her hands together pleading. Fatih was still down. Don't know what else to do. Amra took a deep breath and lowered her hands, then left when Fatih gave her no response.

****

The biggest fool Fatih had ever done was to waste a woman like Amra. Who is still trying to be the best wife for a husband she never loved. Letting go of Amra without a fight. Giving up just like that was a difficult time for her to find her first love.

Although Ayu was once his wife, and once occupied the recesses of his heart, but at all Ayu never shifted Amra's position in his heart. Amra was still the first in her heart. He's just stupid! Surrender to a situation that is not on his side first.

And he deserved Amra's anger. He even shows up and interrupts the marriage that Amra tries to maintain even without that love. Has the situation changed now? Is this a punishment from God, which puts him in the pain Amra has felt all along?

How selfish would it be if it was like this? Fatih sat in that chair. Look at the streets with sadness. Resigned, He will accept all this. I felt the same pain that Amra had felt. Waiting for time, back on his side. Passing her sentence and hoping, her last mate is Amra.

No matter how long he would wait, it might be until death. Fatih doesn't care about that. He will atone for all his sins, which he did not fight for Amra, whom he clearly knew his feelings for. Until he could leave this world feeling calm.