The Wanderer's
Despair Point

The dark...

Where am I?

My surroundings are just endless darkness, yet

there was faintly visible light.

There Ani and the residents of the orphanage stood facing me,

their faces looked flat, then slowly they turned their bodies

and go away.

I tried to run up to them, but that's why

the more I run the farther they go.

“Wait! Don't leave me.” My screams are trying to reach

them.

Until they finally disappeared from my sight, once

once more darkness surrounded me, I was silent.

Suddenly the intense headache made me fall, and,

this unbearable pain slowly made me lose my consciousness.

My body felt heavy, I slowly tried to open my eyes,

a different ceiling when I opened my eyes welcomed me.

Where is this?

I tried to move my body but I couldn't, everything felt

stiff, then a man's voice came from beside me, I turned away

look and see a man sitting beside my bed

fell asleep.

“You're up?” said in a slow tone.

Men with whitish hair and adorning wrinkles

his face, revealed the traces of time he had passed.

I tried to speak but only weak whispers came out

from my mouth, the man just nodded and said. “You rest first.”

The man left me alone, and immediately I

remembering Ani's brother and his last words, my lips trembled me too

biting him tried to endure the pain from my heart, my hand closed the second

my eyes shed tears.

Ani's sister is no longer there as well as the orphanage residents

the other, the harsh reality I had to accept made me despair and think

why don't I just die.

Day after day in this bed, sometimes a beaked man

the middle-aged went into this room to feed me, but he did not ask

totally my identity and why I got to like this.

Every time I try to talk to him, he just answers me

with a smile and said to recover myself first.

After a week passed, my body finally recovered,

although there are still some parts that feel stiff.

I got out of bed and walked to the door

room, I opened the door, a simple living room with walls and

a ceiling made of wood greeted me.

I walked around the room, then I looked outside

the window, there the middle-aged man was chopping wood with an axe

large.

As soon as I approached the middle-aged man, he immediately

realizing my presence then stopped his activities and looked at me.

“It looks like you've recovered.” Said the man while opening

the gloves he wears.

The man came up to me and patted me on the shoulder and said. “Ayo

log in, there must be a lot you want to ask.”

We also entered back into the cabin owned by a beak man

at that time, the man then sat on his old wooden bench, he invited me

sit on the cross.

I sat down to face him and said. “Who are you?” man

it chuckled for a moment then replied. “is the first thing you want to ask

to the man who saved you?” he took a cigarette from

pocket his shirt and start burning and then suck it.

I was silent and the man said again. “My name is Paul,

smoking his cigarette back and saying. “with such a wound, you should

dead son.” His words look at me.

“Then why don't you just let me die?” I said

with a trembling tone while grasping both of my trembling hands. “I've already

there's no one in the world, wouldn't you rather let me die

just.” With my lips shaking and my eyes starting to water, I remember

back to what happened that night.

Paul who heard me sucked back his cigarette

deep and then turn it off, he then positioned his seat slightly leaning to the

ahead and said. “No, I can't do that.” I heard he was sighing

breath and continue saying. “Son, I don't know what happened to you, but

at least you should be grateful to have been given a second chance to live.” Paul

back staring.

“Kak Ani, right?” hearing Paul say that, my eyes

it was wide open and I stood up from my seat, silent to face it. “How

can you know that name?” I asked Paul.

Paul chuckled for a moment. “You mentioned that name over and over again

times when you were unconscious.” Paul looked back at me and said. “You

has lost him, hasn't he?” his words made me angry and I screamed. “Come

you know what, about losing!” my anger is hard to suppress, the tears I hold back

finally flowing. “Do you know what it's like to lose the people you

love overnight!” I stared at Paul who was silent.

Paul just shook his head. “Lantas why I

should you be thankful for the opportunity to live? You should have

let me die!” I said in a harsh tone.

Suddenly Paul kicked his desk loudly and said.

“It is precisely because of that that that you should be grateful and move on with your life, you think

how do those who are gone when you die.” He stared hard

to me and continued to say. “Losing someone you care about is

it hurts, but learn to accept it, people who go away

leaving you will definitely not want you to end up like them.”

Hearing Paul's words, I remembered the last words again

from Kak Ani ‘So live’ I was back silent, my head down

facing down, tears were pouring down from my eyes.

Paul stood up, walked up to me and patted

my shoulders. “Please yourself first.” Paul left me alone.

Memories upon memories flowed through my mind, happy times

what I've been through is gone, now I'm alone in this vast world, taste

fear spread throughout my body, I instantly remembered the man with hair

silver and his subordinates, they were the cause of all the tragedies I experienced.

Suddenly I felt a very hot fire inside

my liver. It's true I can't die, until the moment where I take revenge

me, I can't die yet.

Paul continued to cut wood in the front yard

his house, after a while Seva came out of his cabin. Seva bring

a long sword belonging to Paul that he put on display in his living room.

“Hey old man, can you use this?” Seva vows

while holding a long sword.

Paul who saw it only chuckled and continued

cutting wood. “Yes I can.” Paul told Seva. “But those days are already

it ends for me, why are you asking?” ask Paul.

With a strong determined look Seva replied. “Taught

I how to fight.” Hearing Seva's reply, Paul fell silent for a moment and laughed

with fast “What do you want to do son?” ask paul with

mocking tone.

“You're right, I can't die yet. There are still things that should be

I did.” Reply Seva firmly.

Paul stared back at Seva. “Say your name nak?”

Paul asked in a serious tone.

“Seva, my name is Seva.”