Will You Marry Me?
The Part 18
(pov RHESA)
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A thing ...
Which can no longer be repeated ...
Regrets ...
With thousands of hiccups ...
Inutile ...
It means nothing ...
When everything starts to be kept away ...
Missing ... go somewhere ...
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"What is this, Rhes?"
Deja vu, right?!
Just like when I gave him the agreement first. When I was no longer able to withstand all the pressure I felt.
"That's my divorce papers .. for you!"
"What?!"
Mas Dirga traced every word on that paper. I saw his hands begin to shake squeezing the paper he was holding. His eyes were sharp against me.
"You're out of your mind, huh?!" his yell.
"I don't want to divorce you. Throw away your crazy thoughts!"
The paper was torn into small pieces.
I knew he would react that way and I was ready to accept his anger.
"Mas Dirga!" I opened the voice when he started to control his emotions. "Did you remember? You told me once. When I began to feel pity ... when I felt more tormented life with you .. when I asked for divorce... then Mas Dirga would release me. You remember that, right?"
Dirga kept turning away from me. Several times I saw him wiping away the tears in the corner of his eye.
"Mas Dirga!" I put both my palms in front of him. "Right now .. I'm feeling off guard. I'm so tormented. I can no longer try to open my heart. My heart this .. is getting narrower day by day. It hurts so much."
The tears that I tried to endure, finally slid down my cheeks as well.
"Why are you like this, Rhes!" A cry sounded from him. "You forced me to marry Clara. Why are you asking for divorce from me now? At least my feelings for you never diminish. Not at all!
If you feel jealous because I pay more attention to Clara. I only care about the baby."
"I know," I said. "And I .. I can no longer compete with your baby. I am not a woman with a big heart who can sincerely share my husband with other women. If it wasn't for that baby, I wouldn't really want to have a marriage like this. I can't afford it."
"Stop this shit! I'm sick of hearing it!" snapped it. "We are not getting divorced! Point!"
I took his hand. Stir it with my hands.
"Mas Dirga .. I really can't do it anymore! If this pain of mine is allowed to last longer, I'm afraid .. I can hate you for a long time."
"Rhes ..."
"I beg ... I beg you to let me go, Mas Dirga!"
The eyes that I often see are full of shade. A smile that is usually sweet to me. Now ... I don't know where it all went.
I could only see thousands of sadness and a fog of tears filled in his eyes. In the eyes of the owner of my whole heart.
"Is there no love left for me, Rhesa? Is there no chance for me? Is there no patience for me?"
L loved her.
I really love her. But I can't live by sharing his love.
"You really want us to get divorced?" ask her with a trembling voice.
"Yes." Yeah."
I saw the tears flowing from his shady eyes. My heart is heavy. Why should this be the end of our love? Why is it so hard to maintain this determination?
"All right! I'll do anything ... anything that will make you happy, Rhesa!"
Hot air seemed to flow rapidly in my bloodstream, as Mas Dirga placed his right palm on top of my crown.
"Rhesa Dayana Princess .. I ..." Her voice stopped as her cries began to break. "i .. I dropped ..."
My heart is getting rumbled. The flow of oxygen seemed to stop going into my lungs, as I felt Mas Dirga's hand tremble over my head.
"I dropped .. talak three on you!"
Along with the tears that kept flowing from his eyes, Mas Dirga pulled his hand from the top of my head.
I took a few steps back from him.
Our bodies are retreating away. Our eyes are still adrift. Tears flowed more and more without us being able to stand.
A qobul ijab that became a common thread between us. Now it turns into the word talak which is like a vast ocean .. who drowned the ark of our household.
We can no longer wipe each other's tears.
We could no longer hug each other to calm each other down.
Now ... all back to the beginning.
Where we both became strangers.
"Goodbye, husband."
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Two months passed. Our divorce trial is over.
I hitchhiked in Cindy's contract while taking care of my overseas departure for my S2.
"Sorry, yes, Cindy ... These two months I've been troubling you!"
"Hey ... come on! I, I told you, no matter what happens to you, Karina and I are the place you should go! Youunderstand?" said Cindy.
"Yes. Thank you," I said. "Well .. I will continue packing for my departure tomorrow morning" I said as I got up from my seat.
BRUK!
"Rhesaa ...! Why you?!" exciting Cindy.
"Sa ... hurts! It hurts!" my moans.
The dizzy that was so intensely suddenly ambushed my head. Cindy finally took me to where Karina worked at Jaya Medika Hospital.
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"What happened to her? Why does he look so sick?" cindy, worry.
"Do I have a serious illness?" my tampering.
"No. You are all right, really! It was even very good" Karina said.
"Aah .. thank goodness!" I exhale a sigh of relief.
"But why is my head so dizzy all of a sudden?"
Karina seemed to bite her lower lip. There was doubt in his face.
"Karina, say! What's wrong with me?" my insistence.
"Rhesa ..." Karina was doubtful. "There's a fetus .. in your womb."
"What?!" Cindy and I cried out at the same time.
"Ka-Karina .. You're kidding me, right?"
My friend just nodded in response to me.
"I-i ...! No way!"
"It's been twelve weeks" Karina continued. "That means .. You were four weeks pregnant when you divorced your husband."
Spilled already!
Again my tears are spilled. At a time like this .. I don't even know if I should be happy or sad.
"Rhes, are you okay?" Cindy looked at me worried. "Do we have to tell Dirga about this?"
"No!" sahutku fast. "You have to promise me! Mahesa's family can't know about this child .. Including her real father!"
"Rhes, don't be stupid!" karina said, start to get emotional. "Do you think ... will you be able to raise her alone?!"
Both my friends were looking at me. A sense of compassion emanated from the look of their eyes.
"Karina, last time .. I beg you for help!" I said. "With your father's power, please shut down all information about me! Neither the campus nor my residence later. I don't want Mas Dirga to find me, nor my son."
"You sure?" ask Karina.
"Yes. I'm so sure."
This kid is the last thing I own. I'll take him wherever I go. That way .. I won't feel alone anymore.
Thank you for this last gift you gave me, Mas Dirga.
I'll take good care of him.
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(POV DIRGA)
DIRGA HOUSE
"I told you, don't ever injure your feet here!"
The sound of Clara screaming from inside the house made me stop to open the door.
"I've given you the money shut up. I've also helped you get a contract with Mahesa Corporation, Rudy. Don't try anything now!"
"I can't keep lying to Dirga, Clara. He's a good man. Anyway ... I told you I'd take responsibility and marry you. Why did you even trap Dirga and say as if he was the father of the child you bear?! Why are you so bad, Clara?!"
"What do you mean, Rudy?" I entered in the middle of their debate.
"Dirga?!" clara and Rudy.
"What do you mean?! What do you mean by those words?!" I shouted, at Rudy.
Clara and Rudy looked pale at me.
"What's your relationship with Clara? Why are you in my house now?!"
"Dirga, let me explain!" said Clara.
"Shut up! I'm not talking to you" I growled. "Rudy ... You have to explain everything to me right now ...!" my yelling.
"Dirga ... Rudy's here to talk about work" said Clara.
"I don't want to hear anything from you. I want to hear everything from that guy! "Tell me, Rudy .. tell me the truth!"
"I ..." Rudy opened his voice in doubt. "Me and Clara .. We're more than just regular friends."
"What?!"
"lik! Don't believe it, Dirga! He tricked you!" exciting Clara.
"No. I didn't deceive you at all, Dirga," said Rudy. "Clara even helped me get a contract with Mahesa Corporation. And instead ... Clara used my son to set you up."
"W-what do you mean?!"
"The incident at the hotel at that time .. everything was planned. I'm the one who put sleeping pills in your drink, Dirga."
"Nrank ...!" shout Clara. "No, Dirga! Don't trust him!"
"I told you, shut the fuck up ...!" my snapping.
"Nothing happened between you and Clara at that hotel. I'm the witness" Rudy continued.
"And the child that Clara conceived .. it's not your son!"
"What?! What do you mean, huh?!" I grabbed Rudy's shirt crate and pushed him against the wall.
"If you don't believe .. Just try asking Clara yourself! If the gestational age is seven months .. that means it is your child. But if the gestational age is eight months .. that means the child is my son."
I turned my eyes to Clara. The woman looked pale without daring to look at me.
I clutched her arms tightly.
"Don't try to lie to me, Clara! Say it! Who is the father of the baby you bear?!"
I have been so strong in holding my anger. I hope you don't break my trust, Clara!
I hope ... This time Rudy's the one who lied.
"Say .. Who is the father of your baby, Clara?!" my yelling.
"In-dia ... Ru-ru-dy."
My hand that was clutching him firmly, seemed to be plucked all the muscles in it.
Could ...!
It could be someone I've always considered a good friend. Someone I've been protecting all this time.
You could be this cruel to me, Clara!
"You guys .. get out of here!" i said, cold.
"Australia ...!" Clara prostrated herself at my feet while shedding tears. "I beg you to forgive me! I'm doing this because I really love you!"
"Love?! Hah .. disgusting! You never loved me at all. You're just obsessed with me, you know?!"
"No, Dirga! Don't be like this to me! I am your wife. I'm your rightful wife, Dirga!"
"Wife said?!" I looked at him cynically. "This second also .. I divorced you!"
"Dirgaaaa!"
"Go from here! Don't ever show your face in front of me again!"
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Destroyed already!
It's been ruined my whole life.
PYARS! PRANGS!
"Aaaaaaargh .. siaaal ...! Br*ngs*k .. br*ngs*k!"
The noise of the glass breaking in every corner of my house could no longer even be heard by my ears.
"Rhesa," I murmured. "Where are you now, Rhesa?"
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JAYA MEDIKA HOSPITAL
"You know where Rhesa is, right? Tell me, where is she, Karina?!"
"For what?!" Karina is cynical.
"For you to hurt her again, huh?!
Dirga Mahesa .. You don't deserve a woman like Rhesa."
You look?
I even got down on my knees to a human, just to look for you, Rhesa.
My pride was completely thrown away so I could find you.
"I beg you, Karina!" I knelt before him. "I've found out everything about Rhesa. All access is blocked intentionally. You must be behind all this, right?! Tell me where he is! I have to find her."
"Sorry, Dirga! Rhesa is living happily now. He doesn't want you in his life anymore!"
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It's as if heaven and earth don't approve of me finding you back. Even apologizing is hard.
Maybe this is karma because I have let you go so easily.
Is this hard for me to find you, Rhesa?
Is it not appropriate for me to stand before you again?
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The days I spent ...
The months passed ...
Years that keep changing ...
I could never erase your silhouette from my mind.
I still hope .. one day ... God will bring us back in a better place.
I missed you, Rhesa!
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