Dear Om Rey
Chapter 19: Returning to the Beginning is Impossible

Om Rey walked away and looked at me with a faint smile on her face. "So that's your answer, Dan?"

"I'm..." I turned my face. "I don't know, Om..."

I feel my head in his kiss. "Om, okay. It will not make sense. You look at your feelings first. You ask slowly your heart, whether you really like the same Om or not."

I still turn my face away.

"And about you staying here or not..." Instantly I focused my attention. Quite curious as to what Om Rey would say. "Om agreed we shouldn't be living together. It will be a danger to us. I was afraid I couldn't do it earlier. If Manda didn't come, maybe it was..."

Instantly my body brushed strangely, while a feeling of unwillingness suddenly just alighted. It's true we shouldn't have stayed together, but I don't think I want to leave here.

"Don't be sad about his face." Om Rey catches my incoherence that I didn't even notice.

"Huh? No, Om." My elak.

"Om going to find an apartment for you to live in. You stay there so your mother doesn't worry."

"But apartment rent is expensive, Om." Where can I pay the rent, how is this Om Rey?

Om Rey smiled with anxiety. "Om will pay the rent, Dan. You stay there and focus on your college. Don't think of anything else."

"But Om, I can't accept that. If you want to help me, help me find a hostel..."

"No, Dan. You have to live in the apartment Om was looking for you. You want to be in a comfortable place. If you don't want to mean you stay here."

Om Rey's offer further strengthened my desire to stay. How confusing.

"But I can't stay here anymore." I murmured, but my little heart wanted to stay here, prepare food for him, and do other things like that.

"Eat him, you live in an apartment. Or... Would you rather stay here?" I don't know why I feel like Om Rey's question is more like mine.

"Yes, I'd rather stay here..." Unconsciously I said it. I'll shut my mouth soon.

Back he smiled anxiously, bringing up his sweet dimples. "You'd rather live here?" Ask Om Rey to make sure.

Hearing Om Rey ask that question, made me feel like that was exactly what I wanted.

Soon I'll turn my brain around to find a possible logical reason. "I-I mean if Om sewain me an apartment, it'll cost you. Whereas if I stay here, I'll be able to cook to eat Om Rey every day. So I can return the same Om. Inget 'we're symbiotic mutualism, Om."

Does my reason sound like a justification? Because I feel like that.

"And..."

"I promise I'll keep my attitude. We'll put some distance between us. We mustn't cross the line."

Then I continued in my heart with a hopeful look. 'But don't let me move out of here. Please Om, I want to stay here and.see Om every day.'

My heart was relieved at once. "Thank you, Om. What happened between me and Om..." I should have said we should have forgotten everything but all those words were stuck in my throat.

"What happened between Om and you, we forget for now. Om will finish the divorce process with Manda. After that, we'll think about it later. How's it?"

Happiness in my heart. It feels like it is the best decision that can be taken for now.

I nodded in spirit. The words from Om Rey really made me feel more relieved. That's exactly what we should have done. I will look at my heart even deeper. Do I really love Om Rey? At the same time we also have to wait until the divorce process Om Rey and Aunt Manda is completed.

After that what will happen, let me think again later. Most importantly at least for now, my relationship with Om Rey will be as comfortable as ever.

Hope so.

In the morning I cooked for breakfast and lunch. After I finished cleaning myself up and went back down to the dinner table for breakfast together with Om Rey.

When I got off he was at the dinner table, when he saw me he smiled. "Good morning, Dan." The friendly Rey is back.

But now, my heart trembles just by looking at his face and also his smile that features those dimples.

I sat in front of him. "Good morning, Om." I said between blushing and sumringah.

Then we started eating breakfast while chatting about the usual things, like we used to. Om Rey also said she would pick me up later when I got home from work as she always did.

So far everything has gone as before. I'm really excited about what's happened since Om Rey first expressed her feelings during that bonfire, like it never happened. We were back to joking as usual.

But it all only lasted a few minutes.

As we were about to leave, at the front door I suddenly remembered there was a book I had not put in the bag. I turned around and wanted to take it right away. But Om Rey who walked behind me, accidentally hit me makes my body lose balance. Om Rey's hand swiftly caught my body that almost hit the wall.

Finally we ended up with Om Rey holding me. I could hear Om Rey's heartbeat so tight that I accidentally stuck my ear to her left chest.

"Sorry, Om. I've missed something." I misbehaved while pushing her body away from me.

As I was about to step back up the stairs, Om Rey pulled my hand. The other hand pulled my nape closer to his face and then he kissed me.

My head just felt so dizzy. I can't think of letting Om Rey do it again.

That kiss again made me feel like I was losing my mind.

I finally got my chance to talk when Om Rey's lips didn't keep my mouth shut. "Of... We can't..." Now he roams around my neck, making my words change with a sigh.

As if he hadn't heard me he pushed me to the living room couch and led me to sit on his lap again. Back her moist lips kissed my neck. His hands started tracing my back, up and down.

"Of..." Finally my sanity came back to me completely. I held Om Rey by wrapping my hand around her neck and hugging her tightly.

"Om, please stop!" I screamed with a breath.