I Love You My Step Mother
Aware?

In front of the ICU room, Andrian and Alfira just sat in silence. Heading towards the floor with his eyes blank. Whether what the two were thinking, clearly their hearts were overwhelmed with anxiety, fear and sadness mixed into one given Reza's critical condition caused by severe accidents and injuries.

Especially Andrian. He looked down lethargic, especially after hearing the condition of the father, his heart broke. Tears fell but no sound was heard, she cried in silence. The fear of losing Reza seemed to be in the shadows in his brain. He did not want the pain of losing his mother to repeat itself to his father.

If that happens, what about his fate? Andrian does not want to be an orphan, he is not ready to lose Reza, Andrian wants his father to stay alive. Andrian had no one else in the world. Her grandparents are gone, Reza's the only place to take shelter.

Andrian did put a bit of resentment and a little hate on Reza, of course after his marriage to Alfira. However, his affection for his father was much more dominant. Repeatedly the guilt comes from his feelings and ego to have Alfira completely so as to put aside the feelings of Reza who may someday be hurt.

For some reason Andrian's memory suddenly runs around the memories of the past with his father. Reza's warm figure, rarely angry or yell at him when making small mistakes, let alone punishing with physical violence makes him long.

Reza who always gave what Andrian wanted, happy him, educated him firmly but not hard, and did his best for him. Andrian and his biological mother are among the lucky humans to have a loving and responsible father and husband.

If Reza leaves, what about him? Who would have greeted him after school when his father was at home? Who else will finance and take care of his needs and often be beside him accompanying his hobby in playing the piano?

Reza never restrained him, what Andrian wanted and what he aspired to as long as it was positive he always supported. Reza is not like other parents who require their children to follow what they want.

While Alfira, he just sat down speechless in confusion. He felt no sadness or tears. Until at last there was a clattering of steps two people approached towards him. A middle-aged lung woman patted his daughter's shoulder.

"Al?" The voice roused him from the daydream.

Alfira looked up at the face staring flatly at the origin of the sound. "Mother."

"How's it going? Is she gonna be okay?" ask her mother with a worried face.

Alfira just shook his head not knowing. Then he turned to look at a man standing next to his mother, someone who upset and hated him for forcing him into a loveless marriage, who else if not his father.

The swampy new man could only sigh heavily, then leaned against the cold walls of the hospital. His eyes glared to the ceiling. Thinking about the condition of his friend who had been faithful to accompany him. She is three years older than Reza. They grew up and lived together in an orphanage.

They complement each other. It is hard and fun to live together. They are like sodara even though they are bloodless. Until the time they grow up, she must separate from Reza because there is a kind husband and wife who adopt Reza.

While she has to fight and work hard to make ends meet, it is unlikely that she will forever live in an orphanage. He had to find his own life, until he finally managed to build a small business and build a family.

However, they did not lose contact. Reza who also successfully built a business, never escaped there in every life. After Reza was successful and had his own income, Reza was always present to help financially if he was in trouble. He and Reza seem to be tied up, helping each other and caring for each other.

For him, only Rezalah family he had given their struggle together living without parents in an orphanage. The reason why he was willing if Alfira was edited by Reza, not because of the factor of return for all that Reza gave, but he knew that Reza was a figure of compassion and responsibility. Sometimes, people who are born and grow up in distress and happiness without parental love, they will appreciate what affection is more.

"Have you guys eaten? Mommy brings provisions from home, we better have breakfast first," said the mother.

Realizing that Andrian had not eaten, Alfira turned to Andrian and looked at him closely. Alfira felt filled with the condition of Andrian who let out tears but his mouth was silent not budging.

Alfira shifted her seat, approached then embraced it. "Andrian, you must be hungry, right? since we got to the hospital, you haven't eaten since last night. We eat yuk," he asked.

"When you're sick, you can't take care of your dad."

"Any mother who eats, Andrian does not want to," he seemed to quiver, he still lowered his head.

Alfira sighed then exhaled violently. He was furious because his stepson did not want to eat a single bit. He understood Andrian was sad, but did not have to torture himself. He also has to watch his stomach.

Alfira patted Andrian on the shoulder to calm down. "Your father must be fine with Andrian being calm."

***

It's been a week since Reza went into a coma, and it has made Andrian lose his passion for life. For three days, he sat stunned and even fell asleep on a hospital chair in front of the ICU room.

Andrian and Alfira are all the way from Jakarta to the hospital outside the city to accompany Reza who has not been awake. Fortunately, the home business is Bi Narsih who handles. While Andrian managed to pocket permission not to enter the school to wait for news about the condition of his father.

Alfira who saw that was concerned. He should have felt the same way, but in fact Alfira felt absolutely nothing, like what Andrian experienced. The unwillingness to lose made Andrian dissolved in deep sadness.

While Alfira, does he feel the fear of losing Reza? Alfira is confused by her own feelings. Not feeling pain, sadness or fear of loss. His heart was ordinary. But on the other hand, he also felt guilty.

During her marriage to the man, she has not been able to give her heart to Reza. Alfira falls in love with the wrong person, Andrian. Sometimes he wants to get rid of his forbidden love, but how? That feeling grows on its own without being able to control.

Out of nowhere, Alfira suddenly wants to enter the room where Reza is helpless. He sat beside the bed, staring at the unconscious face. Realizing only this time he looked at his face. He approached and looked at Reza closely. Look at the face that looks asleep. Instantly her chest became claustrophobic, remembering that she had cheated her husband.

Slowly Alfira touched the face that was always adorned with a warm smile. "I'm sorry, Mom. If I can't love you."

Suddenly water was in his eyes. He gasped to wipe so that the tears did not fall, but somehow the tears even spread in his eyes. Blurred view.

"I'm sorry, I love your son" Alfira said, wiping her face.

Alfira's chest was tight, his heart was full of regret. Why can't he open his heart to the man who loves him? Why can't she ever welcome Reza's love? Thousands of times Reza always expressed her taste but Alfira only thought of it as a past wind.

At least, if indeed he cannot love the man, he should not betray and express love to the wrong person.

Alfira is stupid. True what Widi said his best friend, that he should not have to maintain his forbidden feelings for Andrian.

Nurturing a forbidden love that he may never have, which he could feel would end up in vain and inflict wounds.

When the forbidden sense is still not fertile, actually he does not need to be in a dilemma. He just had to fight to knock out and wean that feeling. Like a baby's lust, if you let the baby hang suckling, but if you sweep it, it will stop on its own.