Islam Learning Fasting
36. By ourselves

Islam sat on his bed hugging his knee, he turned to look at the multi-story bed occupied by Ali and Abirama, there were no more them there. Now the atmosphere really became quiet without their presence in this room.

"Don't be sad, Lam," said Sarifuddin, who has since persuaded him non-stop.

"Lo senile what the hell? I told you, I'm not sad! Know lo?" emphatically.

Sarifuddin lowered his head for a moment while cleaning his dirty nails. A few moments later he looked back at Islam who was staring at him sharply.

"What lo?!!" the impact made Islam shocked.

Sarifuddin quickly shook his head and then bowed back.

"Emmm, Islam"

"What?!!" bentak Islamic.

"It's already six and a half hours, not long if we do not want to eat?" ask Sarifuddin.

Islam breathes heavily. Islam got up from the bed and then he stepped away leaving Sarifuddin who was now screaming.

...***...

Islam rests his nation empty, there is no spirit in him to break the fast today.

"Let's eat!" pinta Sarifuddin with a happy smile.

Islam does not understand why this guy never feel sad even he looks always smiling even though Kristian, Abirama and Ali are no longer in the boarding house.

"Islam!" sarifuddin whiskey.

There is no response from Islam.

"Islam! It was Khadijah, "he whispered to Islam lifting his chin with a surprised face looking at Sarifuddin.

"Where?" ask Islam.

"That's in the back" he whispered.

Islam without much thought immediately looked back and sure enough he saw the veiled girl who was seen pouring kale vegetables into the container. Islam smiled faintly at the girl even if only from a distance. What makes Islam distracted is Umma Nur who was seen talking to the girl with a veil and not long after the girl was seen nodding and she stepped away.

"Umma knew that girl?" the Islamic mind that makes him smile now is full of meaning.

Islam washed his hands under the shells of running water while Sarifuddin was seen waiting in front of the toilet. Islam stopped his steps when he was in the presence of Sarifuddin who looked smiling.

"Lo why the hell do I keep following me?" ask Islam with annoyance.

"Haji kiyai's father told him to" replied Sarifuddin.

"Fall the hell the old man's talk, given are you the same him?"

"science" said Sarifuddin.

Islam smiles cynically. What knowledge did the old man give to Sarifuddin so that he complied?

Islam stepped away without caring for Sarifuddin who shouted to tell Islam to stop.

"Islam wait!"

"Islam! Wait for me kasian uh!" the queen is still running.

Islam closed his eyes with annoyance, this man had not stopped shouting. Islam stopped his steps while pulling his hair in annoyance.

"Lo why the hell? Huh huh? You want what?"

Sarifuddin bowed while rivaling the tip of his coco shirt.

"Sir haji kiyai nyuru"

"Yah!!! Already! I don't care about you or the same haji kiyai lo sir!!! I don't care!!!" shout Islam.

"Lo remember well and hold my word! You do not need to mix my life or follow along with the haji kiyai sir to manage my life!!!"

Islam snorted angrily and then he turned to make his steps stopped to find Abah Habib who was now standing and was looking at him.

"Sholat first!" bring him.

"No need to touch me!" islam said then he stepped past Abah Habib who is now only silent.

Islam's move was stifled when he found Akbar who was looking at him seriously made Islam avert his eyes. Islam again continued its steps without caring for Akbar who continued to look at him.

"Where are you going?" tanya Akbar made the Islamic move stalled.

"Hurry to the mosque!" the peech.

Islam was silent, no response from him made him decide to step back.

"Islam!!!" yelling Akbar made everyone and the students who intend to enter the mosque stop and look at Islam and Akbar with a face so serious.

Islam poked his lips in annoyance with his hardened jaw Islam turned to look at Akbar with his angry face.

"Do you care about me?!!" the clash of Islam made the students surprised, no one ever dared to yell at the son of the kiyai haji sir.

"Lo don't want to be smart about my life! You don't care about me because I don't need to care about it!!!"

"Lo is selfish know it! You heard me, right? Lo it's e-go-is!!! You just care about your own feelings without caring about the feelings of others!!!" shouts Islam with a hoarse voice while pointing at Akbar who now really can only be silent.

"Where have you been when I needed you in my life? Huh huh? Lo where?"

"Lo is not there when I need to teach me the Quran!!! I also don't understand why you're wrong Umi for all my bad attitude!!!"

Islam breathed for a moment, shouting to make him out of breath. Both eyes of Islam reddened, he wanted to cry but was as strong as he could bear.

"Gue now does not need your help to transform me into a child who can lo andelin in this world!!!"

"Lo also do not need to want me as the child who became the priest, his Abi was there when his son needed, not to go and keep the promise to come but never arrived!!!" shouted again.

Islam throw his breath rough, his chest deflated. Islam looks around where everyone is looking at him, be it the santri or ustad.

Islam turned and at that moment his tears poured down his cheeks. Islam rubbed it quickly then quickly stepped away leaving the crowd still staring at him.

"No need!" hold Akbar on Abah Habib who wants to step up to follow Islam.

"But-"

"No need! No matter how good Abah Habib persuaded him he would not change. Let's pray because it will soon be entering the Isya prayer!" said Akbar who then stepped up the stairs.

Abah Habib let out a long sigh staring at the departure of Islam which is now invisible after Islam passed through darkness.

...***...

Islam sat on his bed hugging his knees, his chin was placed on his knees. Islam rubbed his wet cheeks as tears were unceasingly flowing. If only he could choose, he would not want to be the son and grandson of a man who understands religion. For Islam, this is pain.

The sound of a motorbike was heard making Islam step closer to the window. From above here Islam can see Syuaib who is seen parked his motorbike and entered the mosque without taking the key.

Islam was silent for a moment as if thinking of something and then he turned to look at the black suitcase near his closet. Islam looked back at the motorbike parked in front of the mosque until Islam smiled and nodded.

20 Minutes later....

Sarifuddin stepped into the room and turned on the lights, Sarifuddin did not understand why Islam let the room lights go off.

"Islam is asleep?" sarifuddin asked while sitting on the edge of the mattress staring at the body of Islam covered with a sarong.

"Islam!" call Sarifuddin.

"Not be angry! God hates angry people."

No answer made Sarifuddin worried. Why does Islam not answer? Did he kill himself or what? Sarifuddin immediately lifted the holster from the body of Islam made Sarifuddin widened in shock.

"Astagfirullah!!!" his yell.