Islam Learning Fasting
78. It's Heart, Khadijah

Just a moment ago...

Khadijah put a cup of coffee on the table then he stepped back and smiled looking at ustad Hasim who enjoyed the cup of coffee.

"Pig."

Ustad Hasim.

Khadija was ashamed. He squeezed the end of his veil. He had been trying to gather his courage to say something.

"What's wrong?"

"Tomorrow someone will come to propose."

"Applying?"

Khadijah.

"Who?"

"Later also Abi tau and ana hope Abi can accept the proposal from the man."

Khadijah stepped away leaving Ustad Hasim who looked silent unexpectedly.

...***...

Khadijah smiled as he arranged some clothes into a wooden closet. I can't wait for the coming of Islam. Since then he turned to look at the window to ascertain whether Islam had come or not.

"Used!"

Khadija turned his head and he rose with a happy face looking at ustad Hasim.

"Someone came to propose to you."

"He's come yet?" asked the trembling Khadijah with a face of sumringah.

"Yes, Son. Why didn't Antum tell Abi that the man who was coming to propose was Rahman."

Both eyes of Khadijah were rounded. He did not understand why Rahman's name was called.

"Akhi Rahman?"

"Yes, he came along with ustad Firdaus. Antum take it easy Nak Rahman's proposal must be Abi accepted."

Ustad Hasim stepped away making Khadija quickly run towards the door. He could see Rahman and the old Firdaus sitting on the sofa.

Oh my God, this is a misunderstanding.

...***...

Islam cried as he hugged his knees under the big tree on the hill. Islam is now on the hill to let go of its cries.

Islam could not cry in the room and let Sarifuddin see it.

The blowing of the wind and the accompaniment of natural cooling sounds such as the chirping of birds cemented the sadness of Islam.

Islam rubbed his cheeks like a child hiding under a tree while hugging his knees.

Islam hit his chest that hurt. Oh my God, this is really sick. It felt like there was a sharp dagger tearing through his chest.

"Gue please don't get sick! Please don't be sick!"

Islam hit his chest to ease his sadness. Islam breathed a long sigh from his mouth while closing his two sore eyes.

Both of his eyes had reddened as they had been drained with tears that had since drenched his cheeks.

Islam rubbed his head. It felt like his head was extremely painful and was pulsing nonstop.

It's all pain but it can't match the pain in his heart.

Islam moved his palm then rubbed his chest trying to calm himself.

Not long after he heard the sound of steps that sounded approaching him making Islam quickly rise and try to hide.

I don't know who comes at a time like this.

He didn't want anyone to see him cry like this.

Behind the hideout Islam finally saw Khadijah who stepped closer to the evidence and he sat on a bench. The same place where Islam always sees it.

Khadija looks down. Islam does not know what Khadijah is doing here. Islam is leaning behind a tree with a hollow feeling.

Is it necessary to approach Khadijah? But for what? It's no use either. It can only make him cry and cry in front of a girl is not the custom of a Muslim.

Islam sighed and decided to walk away.

"Akhi Islam!"

The sound of the sound made Islam stop its steps. Islam knows that voice.

It's Khadijah.

Islam turned to look at Khadijah who was seen standing in front of him even though you were far away from him.

Islam looked up, he tried to hold back his tears so as not to spill. Islam is biting lips trying not to cry in this situation.

On one side Khadijah looked down as if he did not dare to look at Islam.

Islam opens both his lips intending to speak but it is not easy. His voice seemed to just disappear knowing where.

Khadijah looked up at Islam who looked smiling even though his face was red from crying, his cheeks were wet. Islam failed to hold back her tears, well she cried.

"Happy Khadijah, congratulations."

"You've managed to do two things."

Islam raised two fingers of his hand towards Khadijah who could only be bowed.

"The first time you've managed to make me fall in love just because you saw both of your eyes."

"Those two ka.kamu have succeeded in making me hurt."

Islam touched his chest that felt this tightness, throbbing pain in there.

"It's the heart, Khadija!"

"You have succeeded in hurting the heart of the man who just learned to fast, Khadijah."

"Why does this hurt my heart? Why?"

"Why did you accept Rahman's proposal? Islam who loves you is not Rahman!!!" islam shouted while hitting his chest hard.

One cry escaped Khadijah's mouth. Is this what he gave to Islam?

"Is there still less of my sacrifice for you, Khadijah? Huh huh? Is it less?"

Islam is one step closer.

"I learned to teach for you, every time I studied just because I wanted to be a priest."

"I've become the imam of Khadija, what are you looking for?"

"Ka...Saying what is not in a person of Islam?"

"Say!"

Islam rubbed his wet cheek and tried to catch his breath. Islam nodded with a smile.

"Regarding religion I know. I know that Rahman is better than me, but not by his love."

"I love you!"

"Why is it so painful that the wound you gave me?"

"Do you have any medicine?"

"Have you?"

"I can't bear this pain, Khadija. I can't."

"You taught me how to love but you also taught me to cry and hurt."

"Is this bad for you, Khadijah? This bad?"

"Even I never thought that a veiled girl like you would make me cry."

Islam smiled cynically, he turned his head in the other direction trying not to look at Khadijah who had been staring at him since.

"Thank you, Khadijah."

"Thank you again."

"I will try to eliminate this feeling for you. I'll try to forget you, Khadijah."

"I can only pray the best for you because your happiness is my happiness."

"Go and marry Rahman, maybe his love is not as great as mine for you but he has a greater religious knowledge than me."

"Thank you for teaching me the meaning of struggle."

"Today and this second I will try to behave as if we have never met, as if there is no love here for you, Khadijah."

"It's as if I never knew you."

"Forget about me!"

"And forget about the existence of Islam."

"But I'm sorry if later I fail to forget you and take this taste away."

"I'm sorry, Assalamu'alaikum."

Khadijah shook his head slowly, honestly he did not want if Islam said that.

Islam turned away and he stepped away from Khadija who quickly ran away intending to prevent Islam from leaving but Khadija's two legs stumbled to throw his body into the green grass.

Khadijah cried. It was squeezing the grass hard, this was not its will. This was not the end of the story he wanted in his life.

Both eyes of Khadijah stared at the back of Islam which gradually drifted away as time went on.

Is Islam really going to leave him?

Khadijah closed his eyes hoping Islam would turn to him. But no, it didn't happen. When Khadijah opened his eyes again, Islam had disappeared from his view.

Khadijah turned left and right trying to find a figure of Islam. There is no Islam! It had completely disappeared from his sight.

"Akhi Islam!!!" jerrit Khadijah.