My Life Diary
39. Filling Emptiness

It did not feel like for almost two years I have lived my life as a widow, the joy and sorrow I live with chest roominess. Especially if I'm close to men, widows are stamped as destroyers of people's households. This time I no longer care to be branded or in the ridicule of people if there will be a widower or husband who wants to marry me, I just want the important thing I get a husband, I want the husband, let Bang Usman know later, I can still get a man after he betrays me.

" Yes!." I was surprised by Fatma coming next to me. " How come Big Brother is surprised?, lest Brother Muly dream of someone again ya." Fatma who came directly nosy. " Ih, you're Fatma what the hell! people are thinking about work. You're still here, not your job." I said while getting up from the bed and leaning on the small hall made by my sister. " Sister Muly himself how?, does Brother not work too."

" Sister is lazy Fatma, you are first." I told Fatma. " No ah, if my brother has a holiday I also take a day off." You don't go to the cake, if you have a holiday you can also set it up a lot tomorrow." I told Fatma.

Ever since I had a stroke Mom's job as a washerman and ironed me and Fatma out for everything. Amira and Lutfia I leave it to the mother who lives at home taking care of the sick father. All kitchen necessities and medical expenses Mr. Me and Sarah joint venture. I am very grateful to be able to help the needs of parents even with mediocrity, besides my brother all can be independent except Sibungsu.

" Sister, then, is not on holiday."

" Really Brother?" Ask Fatma. " Yes, yuk hunted we work later can be bad luck."

I rushed to go to work, with the capital train Mr. I and Fatma can make money, even going home from work we can find extra money by placing banana chips that Mother fried in some nearby stalls. Now anything that makes money all I do including pest spray services that are usually done by the Father but now I do it myself. Every day I have to collect change to support my parents and my little family.

" We're ready, let's go. My brother brought a motorbike." Said Fatma who was waiting for me.b We are ready to go to work, but heard from within the voice of the call. " Mother, Mother." Amira who was in the house ran to me followed by Lutfia from behind.

" Mommy wants to work?, then go home with snacks." Pinta Amira is routine every time I want to go to work. " Mostly dong, Mommy bought snacks but Brother Amira take care of Sister Lutfia yes!. Remember don't repotin' Grandma ya."

" Yes, Mother." The mother who saw them called them. " Amira.., Lutfia here do not disturb Mother later The mother is late to go to work." Said Mother. " Tuh, Grandma called to bring Lutfia inside." I kissed them both, and Amira and Lutfia went inside.

About Amira!.

Amira is now five years old, likely next year Amira has started attending Kindergarten school. From now on I have to really prepare for the needs of Amira when she enters school. Amira and Lutfia were not orphans, they still had fathers, but they were both like orphans, not a penny from their fathers. Since I divorced, Bang Man never asked the news of his children, let alone to come here, I never call Bang Man lift even recently hp number is no longer active. I heard from Kak Ina, Bang Man is married again with Santi.

On the way to work I asked Fatma to talk about extra work to fill the free time.

" What if Muly's sister ngojek aja?"

"Ngojek?, it is impossible, where can we just work from nine to noon, the sore nitip chips Mother to the stall" explained I. " Ngojek kek that Kak, but this ngojek monthly just shuttle aja, morning delivered noon at the pick up." Fatma. " What is that cake?" manya curious. " There is dong, if you want later let Fatma just findin." I agree with Fatma's idea.

Today there are three houses that we have to iron the clothes that we washed two days ago. That's how every day, if today's holy tomorrow ironing.

Today the weather was so hot, my whole body was soaked in sweat, when I came home from work I was greeted by my children who had been waiting for the snacks.

Just got the train into the yard, got my kids out. " Mother's home, Mother's home." Younger cry 'Lutfia' excited. One bag of snack crackers I bought was immediately invaded.

" For Amira." " Yes, Mother." Mothers who saw their commotion instantly came out. " You bought a lot of her clothes. All you love?, you're frugal dong." My mother reminded me. " No papa ma'am, anyways today I payday. Mom, this is money for me." I said while giving a million rupiah to Mom.

" Is this not most Muly?, for you and Fatma-."

" There is a kok, this is for mothers to make additional shopping and treatment Father. Fatma I love you too" I said. " We got a Buk bonus, said buk Sari karyan we were neat and clean. So in added bonus, try often kek gini can buy hp Fatma."

" Eh, don't you guys forget my part huh." I heard Idah's words from the kitchen that was again cool fried chips. " Yes Kak, the meatballs." Fatma. " It's good of you, here and here's my part. I'm more tired at home, you're all done." Cetus Idah is upset.

" Udah-Udah do not be in a fuss, later Mother to share, cepetan Idah settle his chips so that later in the afternoon delivered with your Brother" said Mother. " Yes, ma'am." Without rebuttal Idah continued his fry.

Today I am grateful for the sustenance that God has given me, that tomorrow and the day after tomorrow may increase again.

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